Discussion Topic
What is the most difficult thing about being a single parent?
Posted on 04/09/08, 02:08 pm
Give us an idea of how we can support you.
-
Reply #31 11/16/08 3:16pm
I notice alot of you guys have 1-2 kids well I am th single mom to seven kids. I think the hardest for me right now is supporting the emotinally and money wise. It doesnt help matters that i lost my job today. -
Reply #32 11/16/08 9:34pm
-
Reply #33 12/16/08 8:18am
For me personaly the hardest thing is not being able to have the family I and the baby deserve. I am angry that all those moments and fun little things that will happen will not be shared with me and the babies dad together. Yes financial burden is tough, but not as tough really as the hole in my heart where my family as a whole is supposed to be. I am sad that my son won't have a mom and dad that love each other and live together and make the best choices for him. I know i will ove him and do my absolute best but what i don't know right now is if the father will do anything at all except complain. -
Reply #34 12/18/08 3:07am
I'VE BEEN A SINGLE MOM OF TWO SONS FOR OVER THIRTY YEARS. I'VE HAD HEP C FOR 35 YEARS, AM 56, ON UNEMPLOYMENT, AM ALONE NOW AND HAVE LIVED A LOT OF WHAT YOU LADIES ARE TALKING ABOUT. WHEN I LOOK BACK AT ALL THE HARD EFFORT I INVESTED IN MY SONS, THE SACRIFICE, THE WORRY, THE MANY DIFFICULTIES AND LOOK AT MY SONS AND THE MEN THEY HAVE BECOME I REALIZE IT WAS ALL REALLY, REALLY WORTH IT. I ONLY CLOSELY ASSICIATED WITH THE TYPE OF MEN I WANTED MY SONS TO BE LIKE AND THEY HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE WONDERFUL MEN, LOVING, HARD WORKING FATHERS AND HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE SONS. THEY HAD NO ASSOCIATION WITH THEIR BIOLOGICAL FATHER EVEN THOUGH WE LIVED IN THE SAME TOWN, THEY HAD NO FINANCIAL OR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FROM HIM. THEY WERE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEIR DAD AND THE TYPE OF MAN HE WAS CONFUSING AND COMPLICATING THEIR LIVES. SO TRY AND SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY THIS TIME OF YOUR LIFE, KIDS DON'T NEED TONS OF THINGS, CONCENTRATE ON THEIR NEEDS, GOOD HEALTH, CLOTHING, FOOD AND SHELTER, NOT THEIR WANTS, WHEN THEY GET GROWN THEY WILL GET THEM FOR THEMSELVES. ENJOY THEM, GET RID OF AND DON'T START HABITS YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO HAVE, LOVE THEM, REMEMBER TODAY IS ONLY TEMPORARY NOT FOREVER.. GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK YOU DESERVE ONE. YOU ARE DOING A FINE AND NOBLE THING. THE PEOPLE OBSERVING YOU ARE PROBABLY THINKING YOUR DOING AMAZING WELL AND ARE THANKFUL THEY DON'T HAVE TO WALK IN YOUR SHOES. -
Reply #35 12/22/08 11:55am
I totally understand what you are saying about not concerning yourself with all their wants. I can't even obtain things my kids need at this point. We have to be on assitance for healthcare, food, and can't afford clothing or a crib. The sad thing is baby's dad wanted him but then after he found out I was pregnant basically has done nothing to help what so ever. I really have no choice but to worry, I can't afford a place big enough for the kids and me and can't afford to buy just the necessesties. -
Reply #36 12/23/08 4:46pm
For me, I regret the fact my son will not have memories of going to the ballgame with his dad, or doing other father-son activities..I can handle the physical demands of single parenting, but....for my son, who deserves to have 2 parents in his life, that's the one thing that is heart reckening!!! At the end of the day, I can't take away the disappointment he feels, when he recognizes his father is not available!!!! -
Reply #37 12/29/08 6:55pm
Trying to balance work & motherhood & my home life. was a challenge in the very beginning. By the time he was 7 months old I had it down pact. Now that I am a recent stroke survivor. trying to handle my disability. & show him that I am not giving up on my recovery. I can get physically drained easily. but I keep it moving.It has always been important to me to show him by example. -
Reply #38 01/26/09 1:11pm
I agree with gina7 in that what the hardest thing is ... changes. It used to be just keeping up with things, now its more being single. I think the financial part is ongoing - unless you are rich. I know that my kids are going to turn out right (if I let them live that long) - but I wish I could show them more of a balanced life with 2 parents. However, I dont want to have a man just to have a man. I work with someone who doesnt have the same thoughts for the 2 older boys as he does his own 2. He loves them and shows them what a good man is like, but they are definitely treated differently. I dont want a man like that.
Anyway, without much "me" time over the years, I have lost a sense of who I am. That is the hardest part for me now. How do I teach the kids to live balanced lives and be true to themselves, when I dont know how to do that for myself right now? -
Reply #39 01/27/09 11:36pm
This is my first post and my first day on here. For me the hardest thing about being a single mom is the guilt....the guilt of know every past decision ive made will effect my son. I can only control the future. I hate the fact that i have to constantly work and struggle. hate sending him to daycare with strangers. ive had disaster withs babysitters that left me feeling like a bad mom. his father is already gone...i dont want any more people coming in and out of his life. so that aspect is hard as well. I have limited the people i allow in my life because i realize it all effects my son.even though he is only 3.5 hes my best friend and my life would be empty with out him. it sucks knowing you cant protect your children from the world and not being able to give them everything, especially the things like money cant buy.; LIKE a father. I finally starting to see..for a woman it isnt easy trying raise a boy that will soon be a man. its a scares me.. -
Reply #40 02/03/09 11:58am
Right now my greatest need is a mentor for my kids, especially my son. I have been really disappointed that my family has not shown an interest in my children since I became a single parent. When I say my family, I mean the men in my family. My brother, my dad, my brothers in law. We live less than an hour drive from them. I don't know if it's because they don't realize the need, or if they do realize the need, maybe they just don't know how simple it is to help. I would really love it if one of them would just take my son(age 13) along for ANYTHING. He just needs a good man to be around sometimes! A car show, a movie, play football with him, teach him how to play his guitar, play a video game with him. It breaks my heart that someone could fill this need, and chooses to look the other way. I try not to feel bitterness towards the men in my family for this. But I cry frequently over it.
Recently we went to this flea market with my sister and her husband and children. All the girls were looking through fabric and tablecloths, etc. The next booth over was full of antique guns, knives, etc. Guy stuff. My son was so into it. He stood looking through the glass. My brother in law, who knows a lot about that sort of thing, stood with his arms crossed in the fabric booth just watching my son. I suggested he walk over there with my son, but he acted like he didn't hear me. I know, seems like a small thing to get all worked up over. It's these moments in everyday living where men pass up opportunities to speak into my son's life that make me want to BEG the men in my life to STEP UP. STEP UP. Teach this fatherless boy to be a man. Not just knives and guns, of course:) Teach him how to carry himself as a man. How to be kind to girls. HELP.
Welcome
Join This Group
This group is hosted by the Belmont Foundation. Our hope is that single moms will find the support they need from this online community.
