bluocean21

I hate this

Posted on 07/17/09, 01:56 pm

Every damn day I hate myself even more. Looking the mirror makes me just want to smash it. Does anyone just have that feeling that you're not worth it? That you just wish for it to be all over with? I feel that way. Why does this world have to be so focused on looks??
I don't feel as though I'm good enough for anyone. I'm just ugly, and not worth it :(
My venting.

• Reply #1 08/27/09  7:33am
  
  SHALLOWMAN
  IM SORRY BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS YOU BECAUSE I DONT KNOW IF YOURE MALE OR FEMALE-AND WHAT YOURE NAME IS.
  ANYWAY,YOURE RIGHT.AN AWFUL LOT OF PEOPLE DO JUDGE YOU ON YOUR APPEARANCE,ESPECIALLY THE YOUNG/TEENAGERS.HOWEVER THERE ARE MANY THAT DONT.THE PROBLEM ISNT REALLY WHAT THEY THINK(AND AFTER ALL,NEITHER YOU OR I CAN CHANGE THAT!)-BUT WHAT WE THINK ABOUT OURSELVES. WE CAN BE AND ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMIES. OUR ONLY ENEMIES,EVEN.
  SPEAKING FOR MYSELF-IVE HAD 35 YEARS OF "MY OWN UGLINESS" RUINING THIS LIFE FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.EVER SINCE PUBERTY,IN FACT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?- IT STILL DOES!
  WE ARE OUR OWN WORST JUDGES.ITS NOT OUR FAULT,BUT THATS THE WAY IT IS!
  IM GIVING ADVISE THAT IVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO TAKE UP MYSELF-BUT WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS WHAT WE THINK ABOUT OURSELVES. THATS THE ACID TEST.
  AND THESE ARENT JUST MEANINGLESS WORDS OR THEORIES. THINK ABOUT IT...
  IF YOURE HAPPY AND AT EASE WITH YOURSELF(CONFIDENT)-EVERYONE(EVEN THOSE WHO INITIALLY JUDGE YOU ON APPEARANCE ONLY)WILL PICK UP THAT VIBE AND REACT ACCORDINGLY.
  YOURE PROBABLY SAYING TO YORSELF RIGHT NOW(I KNOW I AM!)-"WELL HOW CAN I BE HAPPY AND CONFIDENT WHEN IM THIS PIG UGLY!" THIS IS THE DESTRUCTIVE GAME DISMORPHICS PLAY WITH THEMSELVES.
  ANYWAY-THE POINT IS-ITS NOT REALLY WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE THAT really MATTERS BUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF AND THEREFORE WHAT YOU PROJECT OUTWARDS TO OTHER PEOPLE'
  LOOK AT DANNY DEVITO!
  SORRY IF IVE BORED YOU TO DEATH!
  AND BY THE WAY-THERES SAOMEONE OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE. DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF
  BEST WISHES ADAM
• Reply #2 08/30/09  4:49pm
  
  wd09
  i feel exactly the same. i wish i could give you some advice but i have no idea. maybe we can help each other out.
• Reply #3 09/02/09  4:24pm
  
  Spiky
  while i accept that men also have bdd, i still feel that females are put in a position of constantly measuring and having their looks measured from birth. i'm not saying cases of bdd in men are any less severe or difficult, i'm just bitter about how much emphasis is placed on girls to be beautiful. it seems that there are also fewer ways for women to compensate for not being pretty when it comes to desireability -- just being rich or important doesn't make women desireable the way it can for men, and those are both attainable things, whereas being genetically pretty is just luck.

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder in which the affected person is excessively concerned about and preoccupied by an imagined or minor defect in his or her physical features. The sufferer may complain of several specific features or a single feature, or a vague feature or general appearance, causing psychological distress that impairs important functioning (e.g. occupational or self-care) or social aspects of life.