Hi, I just can't see to keep my own stuff in order. I am always worring about how others will see what I do. Or how they will react to myswings in mood. I am on a new medication, which is helping.
I made some phone calls to my sister on Friday night (last) and when I spoke to her on Saturday I could hear her husband in the backghround bellering and blaming my husband for something. Saturday I spoke to her and they wanted my husband to come pick up the items they had borrowed. When I said he was busy, her husband spoke more trash in the background.
When I did go there after work my husband went with me and my brother-in-law was ready for a fight. As we were trying to leave, I was between them and got pushed in to my husband. twice. After the second push I pushed back. I got punched twice for my trouble. Once in the left eye and once in the right side of my head.
My husband and I were leaving on Sunday m,orning to join family members for a few days of vacation. I got reminded of the altercation every time someone looked at me or I looked in the mirror. I feel really bad about the four phone calls I made to get in touch with my sister. She has periodic phone trouble and I wanted to make sure she knew I need the items. I just can't seem to get out of the cycle of blaming myself even though I know his feelings of rage are not my fault. There was nor reason for my brother-in-law to pick a fight with my husband.
I am worried about my sister but I am afraid to call her that it may lead to his rage coming out at her. (She has MS and has enough to deal with without him raging.
I'm a wreck at the moment.