Moyer

Not lonely

Posted on 03/02/09, 11:12 am

It's funny, but even though I'm the only one here, I feel okay...not lonely. I guess I'm realizing I'm not lonely anymore. I don't know what it would feel like if I was single, would I be lonely then? But I was lonely when I gambled, it didn't matter who I was around, I had a sense of loneliness, I almost didn't even realize this felling wasn't normal. A sadness, a feeling of not belonging. That feeling was there before I gambled. It's been with me most of my life. I didn't know... I'm so glad I know now. It feels good to be alone and not feel lonely, and it feels good to be around others, and not feel lonely. Who knew? Now I do. So, anyway, I never know what's gonna' pop out of my brain when I sit down to this key board! It feels good not to be lonely :) Go me...lol@me
GO US

• Reply #1 03/02/09  11:18pm
  
  purplecat
  No, I don't believe that being single has anything to do with it. I used to feel lonely with only my kids around, now I never feel alone enough. lol. There is a part of us that gets lost in the gambling, and forgets how it feels to really live. It feels great to get some of that feeling back. When I gambled I wanted to be left alone. I didn't gamble because I was lonely....I wanted to be alone because I gambled. I don't know if that makes any sense...but it is just me. Now I choose recovery and living as opposed to gambling. Even when I get urges now...and I do get them, but I don't act on them....it is more of a restless feeling of needing to do something rather than feeling lonely. Now here I am rambling again....sorry, you got me thinking about things. It is great to laugh at yourself....and the rest of us.
• Reply #2 03/03/09  9:31am
  
  Moyer
  Ah - ha "I wanted to be alone because I gambled"
  
  You are so right, purplecat, you gave me one of those "ah-ha" moments!

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