Moyer

Christmas cravings

Posted on 12/06/08, 04:14 pm

I've heard so many people talk about their addictions going into urge mode during the holidays. Not just compulsive gamblers. Lots of people talk about the fact that they overindulge in food and beverage, during the holidays. Parties end up being drunken memories best forgotten due to drug and alcohol abuse. DUI's. It's a cruel world out there. Many people commit suicide during this time of year. And many make promises at the end of this year they couldn't keep last year. I feel that stress wants to push me into a place, a state of mind where I feel familiar, maybe not happy, but comfortable due to the fact I know what to expect. In so many ways Vegas is a sad place to live around the holidays. Even when I gambled, I had a hard time understanding how anyone could want to spend the holidays here. Why here, I wondered? I guess if you have family here, that's different than holing up in a casino. After all that negative talk I need to say that this holiday season has already proven itself to be calmer, and happier. I'm content knowing what we can afford is enough. Today what we can afford is enough. The simple holiday pleasures have found a place in my heart and I am content with enough. It's strange, but an old feeling can still creep in and surprise even me. Where did that feeling come zinging out from? No matter what, I'm better off not gambling this holiday season. It can be a difficult time for me to get through, that's okay, I suppose, I know it doesn't have to be this way. But no matter what, I will not gamble. It's a good feeling to trust myself again. Even through all the unpleasantness in life, it feels good to be able to trust myself. I'm grateful there was still a human being left when I crawled out of my fantasy existence.

I kinda' felt like I'd write a little something about my feelings this time of year, and I ended up kinda' rambling. It felt good. I'm feeling a bit insecure here these days. Just calling it out. I'm okay, and content with enough. I'm learning my Higher Power is good enough, too.

For this holiday season, All bets are off ;)

• Reply #1 12/07/08  6:13pm
  
  Auzgurl
  I am so glad you shared this. You are so right. The Holidays are filled with so much EXCESS - I am not sure why this is the case but coupled with Addictions into the MIX this makes for a heavy cocktail.
  I guess there are many reasons why people make such bad choices this time of year. It's almost a build up of the years stresses.
  For us Robin, we have worked through recovery all year long - the reward is a peaceful heart knowing you are not a slave to your actions anymore. You are healing and so I am. The true meaning of Christmas is able to shine through - wonderful. Hugs to you - and for me all bets off too. Love Suzi
• Reply #2 12/09/08  11:36pm
  
  Kimbers
  The simple holiday pleasures are in my heart also.
  I am peacefull within.
  I for the past 2 years refused to get caught up in the commercialized Christmas.
  I have found that in keeping Christmas calm, My urges remain quiet :)
  Thanks for sharing.
  Hugs,
  Merry Christmas,
  Kimber
  
• Reply #3 12/17/08  9:58am
  
  Moyer
  I wrote the above 11 days ago. I'm so pleased to say I've really been enjoying the season with a gusto I haven't felt in years. Even though I'm missing my mom, I'm remembering just how much she enjoyed the holidays. She made the best chocolate chip cookies. Period. In the world! I loved how she saved and reused the wrapping paper and ribbons. I miss helping her get a little tree. But she's in my heart every day, not just during the holidays, but always. Love you, Mom ><
• Reply #4 12/18/08  2:50pm
  
  sanr
  'Good Entry'......Being 'insecure or feeling 'a feeling is good ''as "I" have found out there are many who feel; but don't express eh ?..
  "I" guess the best way to keep a 'memory alive is to make the''bestess cookies and save ''wrappings ect. ''MY mome made the 'best''Dressing for 'Potatoe salad'' and spreads for meat sandwiches...."I" have the recipe ';but for some strange reason 'I" need to keep experimenting to get that 'taste 'of hers come through my 'cooking it up . lol....there is an ingredient 'missing'..........and 'telephone services don't extend to 'that place she is resting ...So maybe '"I" will pray for 'guidence....''Hey Lord help me out 'with this.....tradition of hers ,,ask her to 'send a messenger via the Wings of an Angel in my 'kitchen. Amen..
  Yeppers 'some leave us due to 'their time is over here'''';but they never go 'without 'departing some 'good 'stuff to us..
  ''I" guess "I" can learn something about giving out (while here) my favorite things to others....'((( Suzi,, Kimbers, MOyer )))))
  'sanr.

A Home away from home and a haven for anyone suffering the affects of gamlbing addiction. Here you will find support care and advice. Everyone is welcome. Please be respectful of other members opinions at all times.