Discussion Topic
Coming clean
Posted on 11/10/08, 11:56 am
I came clean with my wife today about the gambling, the wasted money. She took it not as bad as I thought she would. I think she already knew and I was only fooling myself. She was waiting for me to tell her. If I hadn't told her, that would have been worse in her eyes. Hey, sometimes I do the right thing. It's amazing how bad and relieved you can feel at the same time. It felt like reality smacked me right in the face. NEVER want to have to do that again! Stayin on top of it and filling in the gaps with good stuff. No more poison. Good luck you all and wish you well. Would love to hear your coming clean story. (btw, a little mantra I came up with...you can't win your way out of a gambling addiction...my someone else thought of that too, I dunno)
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Reply #1 11/10/08 4:48pm
Congratulations- you did a really brave a right thing today. I know how hard this is as I have done this too and I too was faced with the shock value of my hubby's reaction. I never want to see that again - the hurt and the anger of which he had every right - it does keep me clean. That and my connection with my fellow CGs in recovery. Just for today I will not gamble. Hugs Suzi -
Reply #2 11/11/08 6:54pm
I want to add my congrats too!!! You have to feel such a relief to have it out in the open and for your wife to be as accepting as she was! You really did do the right thing! WTG!!!!
Although my bf also gambles, I came out to him about the amount I had gambled over the last couple of years. He had no idea the actual dollar amount. Coming out with this really decreased the pressure he had been putting on me to continue to gamble. He had to take it seriously and has backed off about gambling completely. That is a great relief to me....Wishing you great success in your recovery...Dianne -
Reply #3 11/14/08 12:22pm
Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congrat's. Coming clean is a huge step.
My story would make for a novel LOL
What I remember vivid in my mind is the relief, I felt like the world ,,the stormy world I had created was lifted from my shoulders and I could breathe again.
I wish you all the best on your road of recovery and am proud to walk it with you and all here.
Hugsss,
Kimber -
Reply #4 11/15/08 1:12pm
WTg .........As a compulsive gambler 'the Burden of Shame was lifted off of my shoulders when ''I" came clean.. 'I' was not tranferred to another ';but ''the 'weight of keeping it 'hid ''Was..
Honesty is a process "I" found. As each day passes '' my level of honesty 'grows '.
Be Well sanr.. -
Reply #5 11/18/08 7:29pm
I to sat my husband down and told him, my gambling had been going on long before I met him, and I think he suspected it, even asked me about it a few times, I managed to lie my way out out it of course, and my parents ALWAYS bailed me out.
This weekend though, I lost ALL my cheque, than stole 400 from my folks, I guess that was my "bottom". I told all of them what I had done, my parents took it well..........considering, my husband is leaving me.
I feel lost and hopeless and sad.
Congrats to you though on coming clean, glad to hear your wife is sticking with ypu. -
Reply #6 11/19/08 9:36am
When I came clean to my hubby, he was my bf, at the time, I knew I was doing it for me. I hated who I had become. I hated lying to everyone that mattered to me in my life. I especially knew they didn't deserve my lies, they deserved the truth, no matter how difficult it seemed it was going to be for me. To live with myself I had to come clean, no matter what. I swear I thought I would be homeless! I remember wondering if I could be homeless and take my little dog. How horrid those memories are! They seem so immature and childish now. And real. I never want to forget how real it made me feel to come clean. Still feeling real :)
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