This is my first night here. My therapist suggested I go on this site and maybe it would help me in some way. My father was the drunk who abused my whole family. Since I was the only girl I was sexually abused, verbally abused and just beaten down.I moved out of the house when I turned 18, two months later he committed suicide. I actually felt some guilt because I thought he killed himself because of me in some way. Crazy!!!
I remember telling my mom of the things happening to me but she did nothing. I blamed her for years but now with the help of my husband I realize that she was also a victim.She ended up with Alzheimer's and passed away 2 years ago this month. I never got to say that I didn't blame her anymore.
I end up marrying a drunk and the same things were happening all over again.I ended up having three children and feeling totally lost being a parent. I had no friends, I was in the house all day. My children were born in 1981,82,&83.I had my hands full and felt like I was drowning.
Sadly one day I just had to leave for my own sanity. I abandoned my boys and moved in with my mother. He treated the boys well and at the time I thought I was doing the right thing.
I could go on and on. I have been to therapist to therapist and just ended up not going anymore.Well I am sick of all this and want to finally get over it.I am now seeing a therapist and psych. for meds.I am starting to feel stronger and I am determined to change. I think 54 years is long enough.
Some how I found the greatest man who is now my husband. He backs me 150% and is truly the love of my life. I am hoping with his strength and support I will be able to finally get through this....
Anyway sorry for going on and on but I got on a roll and coldn't stop. I am hoping to make some friends here and be able to just be myself.
Thanks for listening......Ruby