dsoucy

When?

Posted on 03/18/09, 11:02 pm

When is the best age to discuss your with your child that they have austism?
I am wresteling with this one, and have had many parents pose the same question to me. I can only speak for, myself when I say it must be something that is (of course) related to their functioning ability, and develpemental age...anyone want to chime in?

• Reply #1 03/19/09  12:35am
  
  stevo
  Has your child asked you, "Why am I not normal?" He/she might have a different way of saying that. But that would indicate the right time for you to show him and explain.
  
  What's most important is letting him/her choose a focus.
  
  Most parents can't answer or do any of the questions below.
  
  You the parents may have 90 IQ and your 12 yo has 160 IQ. Parents like that can't cope, but they can intuitively realize, boy scouts,jay-cees, junior achievement, sports, have trustworthy teachers beyond their intelligence to stimulate their child. It shouldn't have to be just the parent alone explaining autism to the child. It's better in a round table with the child, parent, and and outside master.
  
  1) Is the child coping in mainstream school?
  2) Is he/she at 5th grade level in school?
  3)Does the child have obvious physical deformities keeping him in a special school?
  4)Do you arrange sensible play partners with other classmates' parents, who have the same functioning? And, can you communicate with these parents?
  5)Do or can you attend school and help out as an extra teacher's aid in your child's classroom? Many mainstream elementary schools love a parent to help.
  6)Can you do a little bit of home schooling help with your child, like helping with homework?
  7)Do you oversee the hobbies? Functional Aspie and Autie youth always have focused hobbies? Say, for example, if your child loves horses can you take him to a friendly horse farm that schedule children's rides for cheap price? If your child collects rocks (fundamental geology) can you take him to a local rock-hound club?
  8)Can your child cope with mainstream boy scouts (cubs) girl scouts, (brownies)? Some places have scouting groups for specials, too.
  9) What about after school music lessons?
  
  The best solution is to wear that kid out so he sleeps at night. That means fundamental physical aerobic plus mental exertion, in their focused area of interest.
  
  Many ways Aspies and Auties excel way beyond norm neurotypical kids. Normal kids procrastinate homework and become normal liar slackers. That's normal. Our specials hate being without a job to do, which is especially in their very focused interest subject.
  
  See what I am doing? I expect that the IEP and school psychologists and teachers and extracurricular after school (eg. music teacher, sport coach, scout leader) and you have had private discussion openly about how your child is developing.
  
  May
• Reply #2 03/19/09  1:20pm
  
  jo777468
  What I also tell people go with your insticts. You will know when the time is right just like having the sex talk and other topics. I think its soething we worry about but always make the right choice
• Reply #3 03/22/09  10:57am
  
  Lawson
  I never thoght to tell him and how. He just knows he is not like everyone eles and that has always ben ok with him.... Am I wrong to do that???? Help
• Reply #4 03/31/09  9:35am
  
  jo777468
  I wouldnt think your wrong to do that but I recently went through something with my oldest I never told him I was a teenager when I got pregnant with him I just figured it didnt matter to him. I figured he was loved and happy what did it matter. But his grandmother last yr told him I was a kid when I had him. It kind of upset him I am not sure if he felt I was lying to him or what but I if I had to do over again I would have told him myself so I could have explained it better. I guese to me it wasnt relevent but to him it was to a point. He was fine with it once I explained what his grandmother didnt he just shrugged his shoulders and went about his business. Hope that helps
• Reply #5 04/05/09  6:07am
  
  steve
  I struggle with this as well

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