I too was afraid. You see Ilived in an area of about 50,000 people and worked at the state employment office as an adjudicator. I had denied unemployment insurance to lots and lots of drunks. Drunks have a tendency to get fired and quit jobs without cause quite often. I also was better than the people in AA I mean I owned a house and had lots of cars and only two jobs as an adult. I had money in the bank and retirement funds. I just wouldn't fit in.
My psychologist must have suggested that I go a 100 times before I finally worked up the courage to walk in.
Guess what there were people there that I had denied benefits and they welcomed me anyway. I was in much better financial shape than most, but when many talked about their drinking they were talking about my drinking. It only took a couple of months and one meeting someone spoke and told my complete story and for the first time in my life i actually felt like I fit in and belonged someplace.
Today I'm extremely grateful that something helped me walk in that door the first time because even though it was really smokey dark and icky there was something there that I wanted so i went back and I've never had to drink since no matter what.

Nothing to lose.....LIFE & happiness to gain!

I think I had 3 "first" meetings. The first "first" was while I was in a detox facility & I didn't even realize it was an AA meeting at all. I thought "how does everyone know what to do here? They all seem to know what's goin on...what planet am I on??". This was in February of 08. Went to a handful over the next year & didn't pay attention, was there because I was "supposed" to be and it was "expected" of me.

My 2nd "first" was February 23rd of this year and I was detoxing again...at home, on day 2 and I was so freaked out and felt like I would crawl out of my skin that I literally ran out in the middle of the meeting.

My last "first" meeting was February 25th of this year and I felt like I'd come home....I will never forget that date because it changed my life....it is my "safe place" and I am oozing with gratitude.

I came home that night with such a feeling of relief that I described it as feeling like I had spent an hour in a sauna, had a 2 hour massage & was being rocked to sleep in the arms of my mother. Sounds cheesy I know, but it's the truth! :)

The last time i went to my 1st meeting I knew I was home with people like myself. They was telling my story over and over then someone mentioned your not unique we are people that come together to solve are problems and give support. It takes guts to walk up, down or around those stairs. I know of no one yet that had that terrible fear of walking in the doors as CM put it out of are comfort zone. Most think like myself being defeated and loss of control was not going to be an option until we didn't drink go to meetings and listen. From there comes the wiliness to say I think I want what they have. The the journey begins to a better way of life.

Nothing like that first trip to a church basement. What do we fear, perhaps at that point in our lives what we really fear is that it will WORK?

I hated those people. Always with a kind word and a smile. I knew they wanted something from me and I was dmned if I was going to give it to them. Then one day and inadvertently I did give it away. I smiled at a new comer and said glad your here. Tthey sheepishly smiled back and said "thanks, I needed that".

My first meeting I was pissed. These people were laughing and I was dying. But I realised they were enjoying life. I wanted it so bad that I kept coming back, even when drinking. The compassion they gave me and the patience they had with me, helped me recover from my insanity.

Be aware AA meetings are just a slice of society and no different than any other group except the members have a drinking problem.
Some people there will be wearing suits, some will have on clothes that were given to them and haven't been washed in awhile, some people will seem mentally unstable and some will appear to have everything going for them, some will share their life's problems and some will do nothing but talk of the steps. Many will talk of God and others will say that the group is their higher power. There will be old folks using canes or walkers and teenagers. Housewives, secretaries, lawyers, mechanics, carpenters and teachers, liberals and conservatives, people with masters and doctorates, people who never learned to read, the deaf and the blind show up along with the occasional paraplegic. Some people like me will have large noses and some will have great legs. Some will be in desperate need of a shower and some will have on way too much cologne. I hope you are getting the point that anyone in any profession or station in life can become an alcoholic or be born that way.
Thing is somewhere deep inside we all have the same hole the same fear and we all drank to fill it. Many of us realized that quite quickly some it takes years.
The one thing I know to be absolutely true is that if you are an alcoholic there is a way out and starting this day you no longer have to live the way you've been living.

AA meeting scared me, too. At first it was because I wasn't sure what AA was, who would be there, and what I would be expected to do. I was so relieved to discover that AA was not a cult or a religious organization, that the members were just like me and that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to, including identifying myself as an alcoholic or sharing in meetings. Even the coffee was free.

If you are going to your first meeting, here are a few tips.

1.) You'll notice in discussion meetings that we introduce ourselves as alcoholic. You don't have to say you are alcoholic if you're not sure. The only thing you have to say is that you have "a desire to not drink".

2.) Some meetings are discussion meetings where anyone who wants to share can. Some are speaker meetings, where one person tells their story.

3.) There are a whole bunch of readings at the beginning of each meeting where you will here the 12 steps read, the 12 traditions, and various pieces of literature. We do this in AA to remind ourselves of what we are trying to achieve. It helps keep order.

4.) You have absolute control over whether you want to share or not. No one will blink twice if you say, "Pass". Your wishes will be respected.

5.) As stated above, we do qualify to be in an AA meeting. This is how we try to ensure safety and anonymity for ourselves in meetings that are 'closed', ie, only people who identify themselves as having a desire to stop drinking or as alcoholic, are allowed to attend. There are some 'open' meetings where anyone can attend, but those are usually AA birthdays (when someone reaches a milestone in their sobriety) or speaker meetings. You can ask anyone if the meeting is open or closed that you are at.

You might be afraid to intrude on anyone but what you don't know is that the newcomer is considered the most important person in the room. People want to be helpful. They will like it if you approach and ask questions. If someone can't talk, it's not because of you. Just try the next person. We are a helpful lot, in AA. Sincerely, we want to help you.

I forgot to add that you are not expected to recite any prayers if you don't feel comfortable. AA really is not affiliated with any religious organization. You will find all kind of faiths in the rooms, including Christians, New Agers, Pagans, Jews, Muslims, agnostics and atheists, etc. We are encouraged to find a higher power of our understanding, one that can be completely self defined. It can be another person or the group. You also don't have to hold hands at the end of the meeting during the closing segment. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, OK?

The most common question I get asked when i am taking a new member to their first meeting is "Will I have to speak, will I have to stand up and introduce myself?" I always tell them that they never have to do anything they do not want to do. The good news is that when they get there they often do feel comfortable enough to say something. The meeting never turns out to be as scary as they think it is going to be.

When I went to my first meeting I was physically sick several times on the way there I was so frightened. It ended up that pretty much all of my fear was unwarranted and it turned out to be the best thing I ever did.

The person chairing at my meeting always asks at the beginning of the meeting if there is anyone in their first week of sobriety and will emphasize that it is not to embarrass you, but would just like your first name to introduce you to the group.

That way they can pass around a "starter kit" with meeting schedules & pamphlets inside & so people can write their phone numbers down for you.

Bumped up for anybody reading. You don't have to speak. If asked, just say 'thanks but not today'. I always encourage newcomers to speak, even if it's just to stand up and introduce themselves. When you do, and your nervous (I was shaking bad), have a look at the people's faces, and I can guarantee you they'll be wearing welcoming smiles. They have been exactly where you are.

Hi Im Billy I'll pass Thanks

I went to my first AA meeting a few weeks ago. Haven't been back since. That being said everyday I say I will go again but end up drinking instead.

This thread is great, it really does tell you what to expect. I didn't really have a clue before I went. I thought that there would only be a handful of people there. The room was full. What I didn't like though was that after saying that I was a newcomer, everyone addressed me when they spoke. That freaked me out. I just wanted to be a fly on the wall and instead felt like I was on stage.

I still haven't admitted to my family that I went. My DH drinks, but won't admit he has a problem and so won't admit I have one. My DD's don't want to admit I have a problem either. So I feel very alone with this monkey alchol on my back. The night I went I told them I went to Target shopping but didn't buy anything.

Going to a meeting and not wanting to be addressed is easily sorted. I took a lady I 12 Stepped 2 weeks ago to a meeting. She was terrified. I spoke to the group secretary and speaker, and asked that she not be put in the spotlight but wanted to remain totally anonymous in her first meeting.

Nobody knew that night that she, in particular, was new but people understood we had a nervous newcomer in our midst and we shared for newcomers in general. Now she is happy to introduce herself at meetings but does not share, she thinks she might do later on.

People walking in off the street need just ask for the group secretary and then explain their situation.