qwerkster

In need of advice

Posted on 08/31/09, 06:29 pm

Hi my name is Natalie, I am 20 and in the past year i have changed alot, my positive bubbly attitude has been replaced by one of fear and worry and i do not want to be this person. I find it hard to communicate my feelings and talk about whats going on, instead i get frustrated and upset ending up hurting the people i care about. I think i got here from 2 major incidents, the first being a car crash in which i broke my leg so severly i have a plate in for life, it was in the same leg i suffered cancer in when i was only 3. My dream was to be a performer and i feel this is now not within my reach. In december i lost a very close friend he was 24 and died suddenly of a asthma attack i cannot face the people and places i spent time with him in and i cant bring myself to accept that fact. I want to be able to take a deep breath and just let everything go but i am so uptight about everything i just keep holding my breath.

Any advice??

• Reply #1 08/31/09  7:15pm
  
  rogerledwards
  Opinion. First go to your family doc tell SHE him whaT you told me, if he/she feels it would be good an it might wait a whioe to send you to PDY DOC??? I have had Clinical Depression AND ODD both over 34 years I a not nit cureed but I have a long way.'
  Roger the MINISTER
• Reply #2 08/31/09  8:28pm
  
  jeanne36roses
  Roger is right. go talk to your doc and see what he/she says. They may need to give you some meds to help you out.
• Reply #3 09/03/09  10:30pm
  
  kaywifh
  i understand and can relate to the desperation for constant breath.. easy breath. all i know is that when shit hit for me i struggled and fought it and was and am at times in the same place u are.. but i also know that i was forced by that same shit to confront my issues fears and deal. maybe like me u just never gave urself time to grieve the loss of dreams or hopes or goals.. and then more stuff happened and again u pushed on.. and then more happened and more until it got u to this point where u need to feel bad and cry and hurt.. i've heard and read and been confirmed that stuff happens to us as messages and when we ignore those messages they become louder. it sucks and maybe u are feeling the suck or need to feel it because it added up. it may not be who u are or thought u were.. u may feel defeated in controlling it, pathetic about feeling it.. and push to be who u thought u were and were which only makes the whole thing augment.. i understand and will do my best to share experiences and thoughts.. u are not alone.. and talking about .. letting it out stops the re build of more on top.. u can email me if u like or respond here. u are still u .. just wearing a tight outfit for a while because there's nothing else to wear now. big hug
• Reply #4 09/11/09  9:52am
  
  SingerChic
  Kaywith is right, you are not alone! And talking about it does help or even just writing down your feelings, this helps to sort your feelings out. It's good you shared this with us so we can be there for you. Vent as much as you need to. Pushing your feelings down is what can make you feel all this fear and worry and make you lash out at others. The others are right about talking to your doctor, you may need additional help to get you through this. I also had dreams of being a performer. I was the singer in a band for several years. Then I was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer, which after going through everything with that I developed Fibromyalgia, major depression and anxiety. I had to quit the band, couldn't handle performing out anymore. I was told to mourn my old life and move on, but I can't do that. I live with the hope of someday being able to pick up where I left off. But, talking has been the best thing for me! I see a counselor and she has been so helpful in getting me to let it out, because I was afraid to let it out for fear I would completely fall apart. But, inside I was already falling apart. I hope you find someone who can help you to do this. Remember we're here for you! Hugs, Donna
• Reply #5 09/25/09  8:40am
  
  fibonae
  i like to right in my journal and i vent an awful lot. i've been told to go and talk to someone, but i've been there done that. last week i was going to do something real stupid. but i couldn't because he would not recieve a dime if i did. so when i write in my journal and vent my friends can read it. and then they respond because they care. i just passed on a job of becoming manager in jewerlery store. that was one of my dreams, money was great, insurance was great, but my health sucked. i have fibro, narcolepsy, raynauds and much more illnessess. and if it wasn't for my friends on ds and one very good friend. who knows i might not be here today. some people can talk to a professional i can't. i've basically done that sence i was 18 yrs old. and like donna saids we are here for you. hugs renee'

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