aquarius9

I really wanted 2 cut last nite...

Posted on 10/14/08, 04:57 pm

But i didn't. It jst hurt so much... N my mind's eye I find myself on a bridge with a blade. It's usually nitetime n visions of this type, i thnk that's a good indication that lite can affect me...
I know that the more i don't s.i. whn i wnt 2 (jst get the nrg out of me): the stronger I'll b 2 resist it n the future (?) & then there is the issue that i carry razor blades n my wallet, an x-acto n my bag, lancets, matches, etc... so i hve perpetual reminders that i can always hve the options of transferring my emotions 2 a physical actuality. I'm not sure if that makes me feel safer or not... it's as though blood seems more potent thn tears...

*neway* jst rambling now... thanx 4 being here: listening, i'm opn 2
feedback ((hugs)) MUCHLUV

• Reply #1 10/19/08  1:18pm
  
  malloryaaa
  That's how I was, too. I used to cut the majority of the time at night. What helps is just listening to upbeat music. Seriously, the more you feed those bad thoughts with sad/depressing music--the more you'll wanna cut. Talking to people helps the most, though. TWLOHA reallly did save my life. True story: about a year ago, I was driving home from a horrible day wanting to go home and cut, when i saw a TWLOHA bumper sticker on the car in front of me. I checked the site out, and I found centers and people to talk to. Even if it some of it was only through the internet., talking to people helps. It's a God-send just to know your not alone and to know there are people out there who have overcame their obstacles with SI/SM, depression, etc. I have learned so much about the addiction of SI and the disease of depression through TWLOHA. Surround yourself with people you love and those willing to help and you will find relief that doesn't involve self-inflicted pain. Best of luck! Email me if you want to talk more or need help finding help- snowboarder9347@hotmail.com or check out ToWriteLoveOnHerArms.com
• Reply #2 10/19/08  4:36pm
  
  HillaryMarie
  I"m so glad that you didn't cut last night. for me, cutting helps in the (very) short run, but then I end up feeling horrible and guilty for doing it. It's a short term solution to a long term problem.
  I would suggest that you don't keep the blades and stuff on you; that might make you anxious (?) and it's also not healthy. Cutting isn't the answer!!! I know that as I say that I also want to cut, but it really isn't. It doesn't have any lasting benefit, and you need to keep doing it again and agian.
  
  

this group supports To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) TWLOHA is dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, self injury, addiction and suicide