i miscarried in May of this year, and i still continue the count down. it's just hard that when that day comes, i won't have a baby in my arms to celebrate.

I am new to this website and just joined so I can share my story as I know other stories have helped me. This is the month that our 3rd child, a girl, should have been born. Unfortunately, we had to terminate our pregnancy due to chromosomal challenges which doctors described as being incompatible with life. I was half way through the pregnancy, and the experience broke my heart like never before. I still mourn and grieve our loss, but it's tapered off over the past couple of months. Now I am full force into my life an raising my 2 beautiful and healthy boys, and I thank God that my family and friends are healthy. But now, I feel like it just happened and I can't get through any long moments without crying- really crying. My dream of having a little Christmas baby, a daughter, keeps shattering over and over in my head. And while I wish that the holiday season would take my mind off of it for a while, it only makes it worse. Then, to make things worse, I just started my cycle and we are actively TTC. I got so depressed because what I really wanted and prayed so hard for (to be pregnant before our due date) didn't come true. I just feel so sad hopeless. I know there are better days ahead for us, and I never forget what greatness we do have in our lives, for now the pain I feel now has taken over again. Thanks for you time and listening to my story.

Many years ago I had a miscarriage. I remember I was four months along and I started to bleed. By the time I got to the doctor I had lost the baby. The first thing they asked me was "did you bring it with you. I was only 19 and I didn't know I was suppose to. They gave me a D&C to stop the bleeding and clean me out. Afterwards I asked the doctor "are you sure I can get pregnant again"? He told me not to worry. I waited awhile and tried again. I now have two grown children a boy and girl. My daughter just recently lost her first baby. The doctor said it didn't grow. She was two months pregnant. I wish all of you well and I know that my daughter will have a baby in a while. God bless you all Sharon

After four losses I know the power of the due date. Each and every child had his or her own date where I should have met him or her. So far I made it through two my next will be in December and I am sure I will still be sad even though I am happily expecting again and I am 12 weeks along. I agree with Lee honor the day anyway that works for you. My first I planted flowers. My 2nd I went to church and lit a candle. It helped me to move on.

14 July Delilah was still born,i will never forget as long as i live July 14 will be a day of sadness and knowing how old she would have been at each birthday,if i live to be eighty it will still be with me on July 14

I was 8 weeks pregnant when I miscarried, and my family told me it was a good thing because I'm in a 12 month program at school, and living 3 hours away from my fiancee, but it was still a very big loss, we wanted a family. Then a girl in my class announced she was pregnant, and her due date was exactly 2 weeks after mine.
I couldn't come up with anything special to do for my due date, so I just kept busy with errands & dinner with family, etc. but now she has a beautiful little girl (which is what my fiancee had already convinced himself we were having a girl) and it breaks my heart. I really truly want to be happy for her, but I just don't know if I can!

Dear Lee, I know exactly what the member you write about feels. Except that I miscarried 4 times. I remember each ones birthday, but for some reason the last one, a boy, hit me the hardest. After having 3 miscarriages, due to stress, I got pregnant again, but this time I moved in with my mother. I carried my son to full term and had a beautiful healthy baby. I feel like if I hadn't moved in with my mother, my wreck of a marriage would have ended this pregnancy as well.
We divorced, I remarried and for nine years I tried to get pregant, but I didn't. Then when I did, it had been so long since I had been pregnant, that I didn't reconize the symptoms. Jessica was born with Cri-du-Chat Syndrome that's French for Cry of the Cat for your reader's.
They call it that because of vocal cord deformities, when they cry, they sound like a little kitten. Of course she was born mentally handicapped. She's 21 now. Anyway, a year later I got pregnant again. I was absolutely terrified that this baby would have the same thing as Jessie. The genetic doctor wanted to do a an early test on me to see if the baby had the same thing. I can't remember the name of it, CVS or something like that. They go in and take a piece of the placenta to do a DNA test. They told me that the risk of death was a little higher than an Amneiocentesis which is done at 16 weeks. This test was done at 9 weeks.
A week later I started spotting. After losing 3 other babies, I knew what this meant. I called the hospital which was two hours away, and they told me to come in right now! I called my husband at work, and soon we were on our way north to this major hospital. They did a ultra sound, regular and vaginal. I knew the baby was dead from the regular, there was no heart beat. I told them not to bother with a doctor doing a vaginal, there was no doubt the baby was gone. They told me they were so sorry, but they rules, and a doctor had to do a vaginal and sign a paper that the baby was gone. There were no tear's coming from my eyes, I was just froozen in suspended animation, not knowing how to feel, or if I had any feelings. Jan from genetic's came over and told me that I was to come back tomorrow for a DNC.
I feel like I kill him, yes it was a boy. I feel like by deciding to do that test that I kill him! His birthday is coming up soon, November 11th.
He is the only one that I gave a name to. I named him Elliot.
This story may be sad for your member, but I wanted her to know that she isn't alone, that after 20 years, I still grieve for my son, for all my lost children, but for Elliot, I should have left things alone, and let God have his will. I agree with you Lee, your member should grieve how ever she needs too. I've found being with someone that's been through it before comforting, put a candle in the window on the baby's due date. And remember this, I believe in God, and I hope to go to heaven when it's my time, and I will get to see my little Angels one day. That alone keeps me going, I look forward to the day. God Bless you.

I had a miscarriage really early like at 5 weeks. My baby was due in October 2008 I miscarried February 2008. I was worried too that it might happen again. My miscarriage was clean like a late period my uterus was empty I didn't require a D and C. I let my baby's due date pass no use crying over spilt milk. I was sad but miscarriage is common and affects 20% of all pregnancies so it isn't the end of the world

My sister announced she was pregnant about a month after my miscarriage. I have watched her son grow up and my own shadow child grows along with him...my only consolation is that I will see him or her in Heaven. Since my Daddy died on October 7th the pain of both losses sits heavy on me.

I would like to add that I had no idea how many women had suffered this loss until I lost my own baby. It is something women seem reluctant to talk about except to console others.

It was my understanding that miscarriages didn't generally happen after the 1st trimester and the closer you are to your due date without incident, the better your outcome will be. Even though you may be afraid that history will repeat itself, try to remain calm and collect. Practice your rrythmic breathing and keep a prayer in your heart throughout. Good luck.

I am so sorry for what you went through. I have never personally experienced this heartbreak but my older sister has. Her first born was still born when she was only 5 and a half months into the pregnancy. AFter that she had two more miscarriages and it was so hard on her for so long. She still gets very sad around the due dates. Its so hard to experience loss in any way. Just three months ago she finally had a beautiful healthy baby girl when all the doctors said it was hopeless pretty much. My prayers are with you and I hope that everything works out for you in the best way.

I have never forgotten the due date or the date of my stillborn miscarriage. It was 18 years ago this May 1st...a date like this is never easy to forget .
There were other mothers pregnant in my community at the same time as myself..... so I have watched their children grow into young adults.
I planted a Blue Spruce tree in memorial to my child. It is in my yard near the kitchen window and I have watched it grow over these last 18 years.
I've always wondered about that young son and what he would have been in this world. I still think about this and I'm certain that I always will.
The pain may be less with the passage of time but my memory will never cease.
I have found great comfort in watching generations of birds and rabbits find safe refuge in the branches of this tree.
And I know that my young son has found comfort in the arms of the angels.

sorry about all of you i know how that fewel i had them too and then 2004 i was dx with ms

I was making tremendous progress after suffering my 4th miscarriage on June 30.2008 at 22wks. I had returned to work, got back into a regular routine. I am currently preparing for surgery in November to help support my extremely weak incompetent cervix that failed with a Transvaginal Cerclage. August, September and most of October was fine for the most part. But last week, when I was asked to help a coworker with her projects in preparation for and during her Maternity Leave, I broke down crying at work. My baby’s due date was Nov 2.2008. Since this occurred a week ago I have been thinking more and more about my baby and her due date and it is just so painful. I thought I was over this level/degree of pain that drives me to heavy crying.

I lost a baby January 7, 2008. It was the worst day of my life...I cried for days and felt a sadness that was beyond anything I had ever felt before in my life. I remember feeling hopeless and above all things mortal.
As wierd as that may sound I remember thinking to myself, "Oh my God I really don't have any control of my body afterall." This theme stuck in my head for days and it became it's own entity untill I became angry and then eventually accepted that there was nothing I could have ever done to save my baby. My faith did a lot to help my healing and it is stronger today because of it.
Another thing which occured to me is how very alone you feel. It is only you, your mind and the what if's. Family and friends try to console but their concern seems to only stem from a fear of seeing the person they love distraught. Someone who has never had a miscarriage can not understand the depths the soul descends into. It truely breaks your heart.
When the due date comes around don't suger coat it, mourn your loss, respect the passing, it happened. But be damm sure that you are not alone and that some how you will get through this. Unfortunately it is part of life and it is universal. Even animals in the wild mourn their own losses. Look up and be strong your beautiful already for 1. wanting that life and 2. accepting all the responsibilities that becoming a mom entails.

I have had 4 miscarriages reccently I had one last month and did not even know I was pregnant so it was a surprise. I had one 4 years ago and was pregnant shortly after. it will get easier but you will probably never forget what got me through it was I was shortly pregnant after and I sayI would not have my unexpected blessing #4 and #5 who were born in the same year Jan 05 and Dec 05 they keep me on my toes. Just remember it is hard but god gives us trials for a reason congrats on your new baby

I was half-way through the pregnancy, so up until the due date, in my mind I felt pregnant. It was like I was pregnant, just not having a baby on the due date, if that makes sense. The other pregnant women would go home with a baby, just not me. I couldn't shake that until the due date rolled by, and I felt like someting big was over, and I am not that (un-)pregnant women any more. Ony after the due date I was able to look to the future.

I had a miscarriage 34 yrs ago and on the day I lost the baby and on my due date I always remember

the first 12 months are the worst, you have to go through your due date. the date you found out you were pregnant and the date you found out your hopes have been shattered. I found it helped if you can mark these dates with some sort of rememberance. Lighting a candle, discussing with family, contacting people who have gone through the same thing as you have. there are no right or wrong things to do.

On my due date, Valentine's day, my breasts felt very heavy and full, sure enough when I took a shower I could express some milk. That was the hardest thing of all. I had lost the baby 7 months earlier and yet my body still knew it should be making food for someone.