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Julie Cohen is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFT and a Child Mental Health Specialist with a private practice in Los Angeles Her areas of focus include depression anxiety panic post-traumatic stress bipolar…
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OK, the holidays are finally over and I have one question; what did you give to yourself? The holidays for me are always a mix of looking forward to family gatherings and being exhausted by them both physically and emotionally. While I enjoy the cooking, the visiting, the giving of presents and the closeness that ensues, I can often feel drained by the end of it. After it was all said and done, I found myself by New Year's Eve completely exhausted.
I think this is especially true if you are the head of your household or responsible for the cooking, cleaning and paying for everything. As children we are often raised with the expectation that things will be done for us and given to us. However, as adults that expectation changes to if I give and do, others will do for me. There is a sense of equity and when that equity goes unmet feelings of disappointment and exhaustion are not unusual.
So if you were the "giver" this year and were left feeling drained what can you do to bring balance back into your life? Well traditionally, that is what the after Christmas sales were about. That is the day that many folks march into the mall and say, "today is about me!" Now I am not one to deny the healing properties of shopping therapy but would encourage some other grounding and rejuvenating activities as well.
Some other ideas include: a walk on the beach or a hike, a day without the kids (or a few hours), read a book, go to a movie, a bubble bath with candles, go to a museum etc... Basically, anything that brings you a sense of well-being and feels like you have given something to yourself. Get creative! I would love to hear what you gave yourself this holiday season.
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All the very best to you and your for the New Year all the way from Bonnie Scotland x
This was was first Xmas without both parents, so on one hand it was sad,, on the other it was freing as i ad no exectations to meet except my own, and I could never meet theirs anyway. Its so wierd suddenly being the head of the family, being the oldest
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I managed to give myself and the family a Wii system with Wii sports, and mario kart to my daughter. The younger son got bakugans. I probably should not have done this, but it was worth it.
the faces on both of them as they opened those presents was priceless, so I'm glad i did it.
I know that I shouldn't have spent the money, being unemployed and slowly draining my IRA, but my hypomanic emerges as a spender who thinks I deserve everything I want, a condition I could indulge when working, but not nnow, even though I still do it. My biggest vices are bookstores and craft stores. I ave grandiose ideas of what I will make with polymer clay, beads, fabric, drawing and apinting, but most of the time the bags just sit on the floor with my not looking in them.
Hmm this is digressing from the holidays,, so i will find another forum, although I see I did not get mysef anything fr Xmas. Go Mom!
So basically I bought myself more free time, for Christmas. :)
I've decided to keep solving my daily life problems like avoiding mundane tasks, etc as best I can, by utilizing technology. So far its been much nicer and I feel less stressed. Next up is a self-cleaning cat litter box! ;)
I also took myself to a hot springs and soaked in some mineral water and used the mud body mask. It was grounding. I made an afternoon of it and went to the local farmers market and got some lunch. It was so nice to get a change of scenery and be around some beauty, relaxation, health and healing.
On the second day of christmas, my children gave to me...take out chinese and not a complaint of no feast.
On the next few days I gave myself nothing to do but rest, meditate, listen to music, and long chats with my husband.
I FEEL RESTED AND HAPPY!
I'll be honnest, the first several were horrid, and I have more crutons than I know what to do with (the birds are eating well of my back porch, too, though there WAS the loaf the animals wouldn't touch), but I made from-scratch cinnamon rolls the other day, and my husband LOVED the loaf of bread I made last night...