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Julie Cohen is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFT and a Child Mental Health Specialist with a private practice in Los Angeles Her areas of focus include depression anxiety panic post-traumatic stress bipolar…
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Pushed to the Breaking Point: "Econocide"
We have all seen the headlines recently about how folks are coping or not coping with the economy. Unemployment in Los Angeles is up over 11% and nationally there are similar statistics. People who are already stretched to the limit are asked to take pay cuts and increase their workload. Foreclosures are up 80 % from last year.
In the worst and most extreme end of the spectrum people who have been driven to desperation and believe they have no options have resorted to violence. Stories about people killing themselves or co-workers and family members are becoming more and more common. In fact, this morning as I learned about the death of David Kellerman CFO of Freddie Mac, the reporter used the term "econocide" rather than suicide.
Money is an enormous stressor equal to illness and relationship problems. In addition, the suddenness of losing a job or investments can be extraordinarily devastating and can swiftly transform into overwhelming desperation. Desperation along with perceiving one has no options can be a dangerous combination.
The saddest part of these "econocides" is that in ALL of the cases I have read about the problems and intense stress are temporary and options are actually available. I have also noticed that in most of these cases people that knew the victims often are incredibly surprised and had no idea things were "that bad." So how do you prevent something from happening that you have no idea is a problem?
I think the solution really lies in prevention. The desperation I described above is fueled by a feeling of isolation. It is incredibly important if you are feeling stressed over economic issues like a job loss or other unrelated issues to TALK. You must let someone know how you are feeling. If you don't find comfort in the person you told, tell someone else. Get professional help.
If you are thinking, "no one can solve this, it's pointless to talk," you're not alone. It's a common reaction for people who are not used to reaching out. But, you need to look at the bigger picture. This is not just about how to get money or find a job. It's about how isolating and desperate it feels as well. If you can feel more connected to others even if they can't "fix" the problem, it will calm you down enough to rationally think things through and realize that you do have options.
As a listener, it's important to take a similar stance. Most people when asked for help really want to "solve" the problem. I am no different. As a supervisor in a non-profit agency that is dealing with intense budget cuts my interns come to me daily with their stress related to an increased workload. I listen to their stories and how much pressure they feel and how worried they are about losing their jobs. I feel helpless.
All I can do is try to help them manage their workload but I can't take their pain away. I can't "fix" it. Yesterday, during a supervision meeting one of my interns said, "Julie I know there is nothing you can do about it but I feel like I just need to vent." His words reminded me that what people need equally to a solution is support and connection. My intern was feeling isolated and needed to bring me in to feel heard and connected. Even though he is going through extreme stress he knows he is supported and that helped.
To the listeners, when someone comes to you with their problem, know that even if you can't solve the problem, most people are looking for support and connection. To those feeling isolated and stuck please reach out. I know it's hard and for some of you maybe there is nothing harder, but it's amazing how transforming it can be to let someone know what's going on and then feel supported. If you have no one to talk to, please click on the "crisis hotlines" link at the bottom of the page.
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Displaying comments 10-1 of 10
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Upset by the educational system...? You have the CHOICE be a living example & stand up for yourself & the future of your children. If you really feel passionately about it: don't run to the warden for help... turn to your community for support & have the sack to demonstrate some self responsibility: learn to educate your children at home in half the time of the average school day, instead of using the public education system as a glorified daycare.
If you know & see how things are going now, don't absorb too much of this desperation & suffering, but never forget it... the strength of choice is omnipresent... while statistically pessimists are more likely to be right, optimists live longer. The future is determined in the NOW~ essentially everything I do, or don't do MATTERS.
Thanx for the article Julie, but I have enough empathy to be about all out of sympathy. Everyone deserves access to emergency assistance counseling & resources, as well as actively constructive responses or an actual plan for self empowerment. This entails being creative, and willing to go to any length... for life, liberty and the pursuit of both personal and collective happiness.
I have found it's very helpful to make a list of things that I have to be thankful for and if you knew my story, I've suffered a lot of loss' but yet I still have so much and when I am down, I keep repeating " I am too blessed to be stressed". Use that positive self talk! It helps as does knowing my Heavenly Father. But just the simple things in life-like waking up not in pain- or that you have lived to see another dawn, watching a hummingbird, having friends and family still ALIVE, etc have so much meaning to me now. Things I used to take for granted... I hope you can find peace and happiness from inside too. And also to reach out.
Songs can help remind you- like the one by the Eagles that goes "U are not alone". Or We're in this together! Or you've got a friend. SING ON! Get up and dance, or atleast take a walk:) Dont' let anyone or thing rob you of your joy! And it is true, whatever doesn't kill you, does make you stronger if you want to be! But Don't take your sanity for granted as it can go at any time:)
Thanks a lot.
Baby Bedding
Of course the best way to avoid this situation is to realize at all times that what goes up WILL come down and vice versa. The people who are having the hardest time right now are those too young to have seen this happen before...or those who believe they just dont have time to recover from what has just happened again. Recessions are not fun, but they usually go away after 3 years or so. Unless you belong to the Canadian Auto Workers Union who are right now sawing off the branch that used to hold the Catbird Seat and who will be out of work for a long, long, loooooooooooooooooooong time. Sometimes you should be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.
I think that many people who are in financial binds, and I know very few these days who aren't, that they are either too embarrassed to let other people know or they are afraid of being ridiculed.
I used to work for the government at a VA hospital and I had to retire due to a nervous disorder (partially caused by working with mental patients). I went from making 36,000 dollars a year to 13,000 so I well know what these ppl are going through. It is very difficult and, if there is an end in sight, it's not really visable yet.
That is why I am so grateful that I found this website and joined. It makes me feel like I've found a home. That I'm not alone out here anymore. I have clinical depression and am on Wellbutrin, Xanax and Ativan. The panic attacks that I can have are really severe. But I have found that there are people who genuinely care about what other people are going through in this program and I appreciate that immensely.
In reaching out to others, too, you are helping yourself in many ways besides the person that you are talking to.
I carried my porcelin Hammer of Justice and sang If I Had a Hammer. I recited "Here's to the Crazy Ones" on the Courthouse steps---where, ten years ago, I held my own Declaration of Commitment. (When I had money, $2,700. for a full page add in the Santa Barbara Independent was no problem.)
The Courthouse Bells rang out "a warning;" DANGER. And Roger Thompson, King of Hearts, presented the city council with a pen (mightier than the sword).
Suzanne Riorden spoke for those who could no longer speak out against the institutionalized racism and child abuse in our schools---our dead children---and I ended up at the Cottage Hospital Emergency Room in a psychological crisis. Had a very fruitful time. They served lunch with an apple.
Please visit schooltalk.com and work to expose school corruption, reform education, and restore justice and democracy in our schools and society.
My godchild's father committed suicide last Sunday; one of my son's classmates---with a different but nevertheless divine orientation---was listed in the SB News-Press obituary yesterday, and dozens of children and homeless have died or been murdered within the last six months in Santa Barbara.
Our community is outraged and suffering. There is an Education-Politico-Industrial Complex that has gripped our county and our country.
God Help Us!
The School to Prison Pipeline (googleable) started here, in Santa Barbara, with SBCOE Bill Cirone, D.A. Tom Sneddon, and SBSD Mike Caston and Diana Rigby. J'accuse!
I vowed to expose corruption, and so I have. MRS. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON---WITH A FEW THOUSAND OF HER FRIENDS. Join me, fellow beepers---Roger Thompson is the King of Hearts! (visit sbschooltalk.com 4 details.)
TTFN,
k8e
k8longstory 4 applecorpspress
aka longstory (Daily Strength.org)