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Julie Cohen is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFT and a Child Mental Health Specialist with a private practice in Los Angeles Her areas of focus include depression anxiety panic post-traumatic stress bipolar…
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A member wrote: “I’ve been having this problem for about 2 years now, about the same time my daughter was born. I stay up all night thinking about death. (Why me? what happens after? will my family be OK?) are just some of the things running through my mind at night.... I’m not sure why i feel this way. Should I be put on medication? Or is there something else i can do to help this problem. Thanks!”
Fear of death is actually very common. Many people experience this at varying intensities often occurring after a life changing event. Sometimes, it passes within a short time but occasionally one can get fixated and unable to move on. From a mental health perspective it is often anxiety driven. As with most anxiety and panic, there is usually a feeling of being out of control that fuels it.
If you can identify the triggering event that caused the fear then you can begin to process your own personal meaning behind the event. Once that is brought to the surface you can then challenge and question the validity of the fear. Our fears often reside in our unconscious and once brought to the surface their validity often diminishes significantly along with the symptoms.
As in the example above, the triggering event may have been caused by the birth of her daughter. A birth is a life changing event. Each of us places a personal meaning behind significant events and it is typically based on our own past histories and personalities. So, a birth to one person may be a joyous occasion without any fear associated with it. But for someone else who, for example, may have experienced relationship problems related to the stress of a new baby, a birth may be joyful but also bring about fear and uncertainty. Being able to process the personal meaning behind the fear is an invaluable part of the solution.
I would encourage this member to seek help with a therapist to gain a greater understanding of this issue for her and help reduce the symptoms of panic and anxiety associated with her fear of death. I would also encourage her to seek medical help to rule out any medical conditions that may be contributing or causing these symptoms.
Julie
Fear of death is actually very common. Many people experience this at varying intensities often occurring after a life changing event. Sometimes, it passes within a short time but occasionally one can get fixated and unable to move on. From a mental health perspective it is often anxiety driven. As with most anxiety and panic, there is usually a feeling of being out of control that fuels it.
If you can identify the triggering event that caused the fear then you can begin to process your own personal meaning behind the event. Once that is brought to the surface you can then challenge and question the validity of the fear. Our fears often reside in our unconscious and once brought to the surface their validity often diminishes significantly along with the symptoms.
As in the example above, the triggering event may have been caused by the birth of her daughter. A birth is a life changing event. Each of us places a personal meaning behind significant events and it is typically based on our own past histories and personalities. So, a birth to one person may be a joyous occasion without any fear associated with it. But for someone else who, for example, may have experienced relationship problems related to the stress of a new baby, a birth may be joyful but also bring about fear and uncertainty. Being able to process the personal meaning behind the fear is an invaluable part of the solution.
I would encourage this member to seek help with a therapist to gain a greater understanding of this issue for her and help reduce the symptoms of panic and anxiety associated with her fear of death. I would also encourage her to seek medical help to rule out any medical conditions that may be contributing or causing these symptoms.
Julie
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Bipolar Disorder
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Depression - Teen
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Depression in Children
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Phobia
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Post Partum Depression
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And I obsess over people who have already died. We moved into an 83 year old home and it freaks me out a bit to think of what these walls have absorbed over the years....and the sidewalks outside, etc.
I too am paralyzed right now by all of the dangers in the world. I'm afraid to go shopping or in large places for fear someone will shoot my child. I don't know what I'm going to do....
How I look at it is this...it's going to happen eventually. You won't know when (usually), so just get on with your life but make sure you have 'emergency papers' ready in case something DOES happen. And make sure people you care about know what your wishes are regarding things like mechanical intervention, living will, etc.