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Julie Cohen is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFT and a Child Mental Health Specialist with a private practice in Los Angeles Her areas of focus include depression anxiety panic post-traumatic stress bipolar…
FAST FACTS
I have worked for many years with victims of chronic trauma and abuse. Many of my clients had a clear cut PTSD diagnosis and along with that suffered greatly from dissociative symptoms. Dissociation is best understood by viewing it on a continuum. One end of the continuum are mild symptoms such as excessive forgetfulness including forgetting your keys or getting in the car and not remembering where you are going. On the severe or extreme end of the continuum are severe dissociate symptoms that included the diagnosis of Dissociate Identity Disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder or MPD).
The dissociative symptom that I see most often falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. And although not a severe symptom, its consequences if not treated could be deadly. Here is how this usually presents in session. A client might say, "I was driving to work and was so consumed by the thoughts of my abuse that I didn't see the car in front of me stop. I had to slam on my breaks and pull off to the side of the road." Or, "I walked out into the middle of the intersection and the light was red. All these cars almost hit me and people started screaming at me. I never even noticed the traffic signal. I don't know where my mind was..."
So this is a little different than typical thoughts of dissociation where memory is completely wiped out and a person as if awakening from a trance says "where am I?" Often I will ask clients who present with a history of abuse, "do you ever have times where you forget where you are or feel lost for a few moments?" Typically, the response will be reciting a situation involving stepping into traffic or almost causing a car accident.
I don't have a scientific answer for this but clearly; in every person that I work with who has this symptom there is an excessive amount of worry and anxiety. There is almost always intense persistent ruminations about the past abuse or potential abuse. This is most common with people who are still in an abusive relationship or worried about potential threats of harm. On a positive note, when the threats of abuse and abuse stop, the ruminations usually diminish significantly.
If these symptoms resonate with you the most important issue is keeping yourself safe. Either this means finding help to get away from your abuser and/or gaining awareness of your dissociative symptoms. If you are in an abusive relationship check out the "help" icon on this page for crisis referrals. If you experience symptoms that are mentioned here I would strongly encourage you to seek professional help. Finding ways to decrease your anxiety is essential to healing. Also, you may want to consider not driving or be extremely cautious when crossing the street.
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I've never been able to figure out if this is what I went through. I never had what might be called "blackouts", and although I might occasionally lose track of time, I don't recall ever actually 'losing' time.
But there were definitely times where thinking of events might put me into a state where I wasn't "all there"; In fact I gained quite a reputation as a "space cadet".
Where do you draw the line between, say, "extreme daydreaming" and dissociation ???
For me fortunately I had other "parts" take over and do the things that got me to places safely, but I could never be entirely certain they were always "switched on" to the environment around me.
Its also fantastic that disociation is more widely treated these days. Where I live in Australia, it is still difficult to find doctors that "believe" in it, so naturally diagnosis is rare. Fortunately I found my doctor, and he diagnosed it. Within my treatment I have set up "safety" things, and have become more conscious of when/how/where I become disociated, triggers etc.. but am so concerned about the safety of those people who are going undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed, and then again... completely untreated.
I have found often that depression and thoughts of suicide and self harm can bring on disociation, and that these are the hardest times to bring myself out of it. Because I have the desire to cross road without looking so that i do cause harm to myself. But.. I am more and more aware of these changes and act quickly to re-associate myself with the world and the environment around me.
I am far from being "cured" and in a way don't believe in a cure for D.I.D. for me, its about making all my personalities funtion together, not combine into a single person.. so really I don't see it so much as a disorder. Rather a new order in which I function. My goal is to be able to function and remain conscious of all changes within me, and remain safe. Its been a looooooong journey to get to this point, and I know i have a looooong way to go.
Once again. I am so thrilled that you brought up dissociation here. It is something that has gotten me into trouble a lot in the past, and if others are aware of it, they can seek treatment for it.
Thanks, Paynter
THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG, I WISH IT WAS HERE A YEAR AGO, I HOPE IT HELPS MANY OTHERS WHO ARE "LOST"
CHEERS.
XOO
It has been really hard for me because now that I can't drive and have a bunch of serious physical diagnosies- my family (my husband's family really) disreguards the need I have for the help for my mental disorder and doesn't want to take me to my appointments. I end up talking on the phone to my therapist but it's not the same for my altars. I've tried some DID forums but the ones I've tried have been difficult to navigate and not effective for me.
I end up switching - on line- with regular people- and they pretty much don't know what to do, how to respond, so- the usual- they don't say anything.
I know however, from hard experience when my life is in danger and how to call for help. I do that a lot actually. Sad, but true. I have to be on a no-self- harm contract a lot. It used to be easier because I could make agreements- and they could have privileges for good behavior- but now we can't get out to do anything. (can't walk hardly at all)
I'm not sure why I wanted to write, I guess I just wanted to share. Say it hurts. It's hard. I wish I could go see my therapist in person again.
oh- there is a good book I have called, "Getting through the Day" that explains the continum of dissociation if anyone wants to understand better the difference between normal dissociation and having multiple personalities. I don't remember the author, but despite the title, it is an excellent book.
From somewhere over the rainbow,
zoe
The only thing I can thing of is his anger with his father for "devaluing" him. He feels his father doesn't respect him or even care for him. But his father will give his sister everything.
She is a drug addict and now is disabled. My husband is also disabled. But his father controls the money. His mother has to "sneak" money to him so she feels he is getting a fair shake I guess. But it is sad that it came down to this. The parents live a good days drive away. And this is what the father encouraged after we got married many years ago. My family lived here at the time.
Could the feelings my husband have because of his father's indifference be considered abuse? I went through basically the same thing with my adopted mother but ignored it because I knew she was sick. My husband can't get through it with his father though... a former air force master sargeant. He is now over 70 years old.
My husband claims he will have no sorrow for his father when he dies. So would this be "abuse?"