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Julie Cohen is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFT and a Child Mental Health Specialist with a private practice in Los Angeles Her areas of focus include depression anxiety panic post-traumatic stress bipolar…
FAST FACTS
We're living in hard times and I'm worried. Not only about rising cost of gas and food, but the anxiety and depression that often accompanies intense financial pressure.
I live in a suburb of Los Angeles which means that I drive approximately 45 minutes in heavy traffic to work every day. Each morning I either breathe a sigh of relief or grimace depending on where the gas gauge is pointing on my dash.
When I go to the grocery store I think twice before buying certain products. I gawk at the price of milk and eggs and wonder if the cows and chickens are being fed gold infused grain as I can't imagine that grain is that expensive. But apparently even grain has succumbed to these troubled financial times.
On my daily walks with my dog Etta, we assess the neighborhood for new houses put up for sale. I wonder if it's another foreclosure and think there but for the grace of God go I. Although this is not a solution, I wanted to offer some personal thoughts on how to cope with anxiety related to our troubling economy.
Count your blessings. In hard times, even though it's difficult, it's imperative to remember the pieces of your life that endure and/or thrive. Focusing on what you value in your life brings strength and comfort. It also helps to remember that money is not the only thing that makes you worthwhile.
A friend of mine reminded me today about perspective. She said that because of financial pressures, her life feels very negative. She noted the changes in the economy as a main reason. As a therapist, her private practice was slow, as many could not afford therapy. And her financial crunch was trickling down into other parts of her life. Then after a good venting session that I could also relate to, she stopped and changed her focus.
She said "well, I have many blessings in my life and I need to focus on those. It helps me get through." She then talked about how she has, "a great car with good air conditioning (as it has been topping over 100 degrees most days), I have a house that I can afford to pay for and I have a loving spouse." As she flipped her perspective from the negative to the positive her face lightened up and at least for the moment the weight seemed to drop off her shoulders.
Now of course, "happy thoughts" alone are not enough to cure financial worries and it certainly doesn't have the power to lower gas prices. However, taking even small steps towards saving money may help relieve some of the pressure.
Ok I am going to say this publically: I am a coupon clipper--a BIG coupon clipper. In fact, the few friends that know my "secret" often roll their eyes when I talk about it or just plain look at me as if I'm from Mars. Not because I clip, but my attitude about it. I actually find shopping at the grocery store for sale items with my coupons calming and empowering. Sometimes it even feels like a treasure hunt (this is where the eye rolling starts!). I know that I am helping my personal financial cause when I see the savings and that makes me feel less anxious. Check out the grocery game, a wonderful coupon loving website that can help you save money.
Finally, take an honest look at your financial situation and be open to constructive guidance. Doing what may seem the hardest may actually bring the most relief. Most people would rather have a tooth pulled than really look at how much money they owe and how much they spend. But usually, most of the anxiety from financial worries comes from ignoring the situation.
Taking the brave step to access your finances may bring up feelings of shame or fear but ultimately you will feel empowered. And you will have set the stage to really take control of your finances which is imperative in these troubling times.
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ago. Both suffered with dementia/alzheimrs symptons. This loss has left me under a lot of stress, on a daily basis. I no longer don't cry as much, but my heart is very broken. The economy has me depressed. I resigned my job to care for my husband, in 2004,in which half of our income ended for good. When he died, all income stopped. Our only source
of income, for the last 4 years, as been his SSI,(Supplimental Security Income), checks. I am not entitled to widows benefits, nor am I older enough,for Social Security benefits.I'm having a very depressing time trying to find a job, even with 17 yrs. clerical experience. Lets face it, when you're 59 yrs. old, employers don't do a lot of ringing your phone off the hook, about interviews. I'm depressed,because I haven't had an income in my home for nearly 3 months, and my major bills haven't stopped, of course. I survive, daily, because of donations, and borrowed money for utilities, food, etc. I began job searching, only a few days after my husband was funeralized. It was "close off your feelings, and get busy, so you wont lose your home to Taxes" Well, its been pure agony for me, over the past few months, and I still don't have a job, But! PRAISE GOD! I'm still in my home, have plenty of food, and since I never gave up Faith in God, I've just been blessed with a huge financial blessing, which will enable me to pay all of my household bills, including over $600.00 in taxes. It was amazing how this happened. Today, . As soon as I had received this Blessing, our mailman put two TAX bills in my mailbox. For the first time in 3 months
I just smiled and put my bills aside, for tomorrow, when they will be paid in full. Last month, one of my daughters, surprised me with a huge
utility financial donation, only 4 days before my utilities were to be turned off. Last week, my other daughter surprised me with a $35.00 hair do,free of charge, and both of my brothers gave me a $50.00 donation. Prior to the $50.00 last week, I only had $40.00 cash left, so I turned everything over to God, and left it there. Now, this week, I can not only fill my car up with gas, and buy groceries, but pay all household bills. I'm no longer worried that I don't have a job yet, be-cause I've awakened from my sleep of doubt and self-pity, and I do
remember that God was carrying me, when I fell and couldn't get back up
even though I couldn't feel his arms around me. Praise God, I'm awake, now, and today, I do feel his arms around me.This is the first time I
feel spiritually, happy, since my husband died. Hang in there, everybody
because all is not lost, as long as you don't give up on Faith within.
I bought a less expensive car but I love it
I was going to go away for 2 nights- may just take a day at the beach
I walk as mushc as possible to stores and have had to cut back on clothes but I am lucky and thankful for what I have.
I will have to cut back on cable services
I have to stop dating on line- mot working anyway
I have to cut back on amount I spend on gifts.
I bought a condo cheaper then I originally planned
It is tought times and not much hope for gas going down or thnkgs getting better- I work weekends and holidays for extra.
I am going to start looking on sale
As for your friend and the positive thinking, I've been using this technique for a week now. I picture a red stop sign in my mind as soon as I recognize negative thoughts coming. I accept them. Take a couple of deep breaths from the belly, and then talk soft, positive, comforting words to myself. It really helps.
Like others I'm hitting bad financial times and spent the last few months being anxious and depressed over this. We own two homes, one in NJ and one in NC, and can't sell either. I've dealt with it the best I can (had to take a loan out from my retirement account) and I do watch my financial situation all the time (banking and paying bills on line helps). I try to limit the use of the credit cards and use my debit card instead. This way I see what I actually have left to spend in my account. It's so easy to get caught up in the credit card trap. It seems that we try to pay them down and then some big expense comes along, like just the other day I needed a new hot water heater, $920. It had to go on the credit card. I worried about this for a few minutes and then told myself that it had to be done, sooner or later, and hopefully we'll sell one of the houses and things will get better. Dwelling on future, negative events, which we have no control over, is a waste of time and energy, and inevitably leads to anxiety and depression. I'm learning to live for today and live in the precious present moment.
Thank you for this discussion. I'm hoping it helped others. It helped me.
I work for a non profit agency and we find alot of free products online like shampoo, toothpaste, deoderant,we even found some free pocket calendars for our clients. I was inquiring about a job at a dry cleaners for a client and there was a rack of unclaimed clothes that they were selling and I got two Harly Davidson brand dress shirts for a dollar a piece and a docker dress shirt for a dollar. I bought them for a client apposed to going to Wal-Mart to look for cheap clothes. They had all kinds of nice high quality clothes that were unclaimed. I have had my friends over and we ate in the dining room and I used my fine china that i inherited that has set in the china cabinet for years and we thought we were at the ritz!!! Hope I gave someone some hope for some fun in these very tuff times.
Patty G.
Another thing is spirituality. True Christians are aware that we are here to serve the Lord, not to lust after the materialistic items of this world. Once we are made aware of that, living life in a poor lifestyle is so much easier, its like all our complaints about money and life are lifted from our hearts.