Marriage and Family Therapist
Julie Cohen is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFT and a Child Mental Health Specialist with a private practice in Los Angeles Her areas of focus include depression anxiety panic post-traumatic stress bipolar…
5 Ways to Improve Your Self Esteem
Posted in Anxiety by Julie Cohen on Jun 23, 2009

We all have moments when we feel bad about ourselves. Sometimes even changing our routine slightly can make a huge difference in creating a positive outlook. Of course this list is not meant to offer a quick fix for anxiety or depression but rather a way to help catch and reverse irrational  negative self talk that fuels low self esteem.

1.  Call a friend or supportive family member:  Even though this is stating the obvious its important to mention. Often it only takes a few kind words or just hearing a loved ones voice to lift us out of a bad mood. You don't have to go into details about what or how you are feeling but you need to make the connection. Isolation breeds loneliness and negative self talk. Not surprisingly reaching out and connecting has the opposite effect. Many times, a mood can change dramatically just by talking to a friend.

2.  Do one thing positive towards your health:  Ignoring good physical and mental health exacerbates low self-esteem. Just making a small effort towards good health can help improve your self-image. You can schedule a doctor's appointment you have been avoiding, take a long walk, eat healthier or even take a step towards quitting smoking. Pick an activity that resonates with you and keep it small. Long term success is often easier by setting manageable goals.

3.  Challenge your negative self-statements:  Sometimes I make clients identify their negative self-thoughts. Then I ask them how many time a day do they indulge those thoughts. Often the number is too high to count and typically they aren‘t even aware that they are doing it. What this means is that negative self-talk is often an unconscious act and that those negative thoughts go unchallenged.  Challenge those thoughts every time you catch them coming out of your mouth or entering your consciousness. Ask yourself regardless if they are true are they helping you in anyway to feel better about yourself. Or is there good reason to have those negative thoughts. If you cannot think of a good reason then banish them!

4.  Help someone in need: One really good way to feel better about yourself is through helping others. There is a special connectedness that happens when you volunteer to help others. This does not mean let someone take advantage of you. It means that when you give of yourself you will  increase your sense of purpose in the world.  Some examples include volunteering with the elderly or with children, volunteering to baby sit, or bring soup to a sick friend.  

5.  Do something you have been avoiding:  Avoidance feeds anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. I know it can feel counter-intuitive to do something that you have been avoiding. The whole purpose that we avoid is usually all the negative feelings we perceive will surface if action is taken. However, the opposite is true. Avoidance actually creates negative feelings whereas being proactive in your life increases a sense a self-worth. Try something small and see how it feels such as taking the dog for a walk or tackling a pile of papers that need to be filed.  


CATEGORIES: News
CONDITIONS AND COMMUNITIES: Anxiety  •  Bipolar Disorder  •  Codependency  •  Coming Out  •  Depression  •  Gay Men's Challenges  •  Lesbian Relationship Challenges  •  Loneliness  •  Panic Attacks
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Displaying comments 9-1 of 29
9
It's important to be reminded of stuff like this.
By JULIAN666  Jun 25, 2009
8
Pet a cat. Sometimes the most sympathetic friends are the four legged furry ones who purr in your lap without a critical or discouraging word, and who love you no matter how you look or how old you are or even if you just got fired.
By Appleby  Jun 24, 2009
7
Most of us know all that has been posted here but yet decided to choose as we please..many of us fall deeper than other for just a while ..and break out of it..keeping the balance is the key..but then that takes knowing ones self ..all so true ..we do need each other..and that is a big factor to having a good healthy life.
By lrpgrant  Jun 24, 2009
6
All 5 of them are stating the obvious in my opinion.
By tigerkitten  Jun 24, 2009
5
Thank you for this article! I've been in a funk for a while and I'm sure this will be a start to decrease the despair I've been in. Thanks again!
By SharDallise  Jun 24, 2009
4
A very much needed article!
By Shamrock593  Jun 24, 2009
3
Good article!
By Want2Improve  Jun 24, 2009
2
This is very useful tips for me.

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By kimjhonson  Jun 24, 2009
1
Thanks!
By Todayisallihave  Jun 24, 2009

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