Unsolicited AdviceI woke up today feeling this day was no different than any other Sunday as deep down I still have a difficult time realizing this day is for me (and all the other fathers out there). You see, over a decade ago my dad passed and although I have three children of my own to share this day with, I still feel this day is for my dad.
But as a tribute to all the fathers out there, I'd like to share something I wrote last year right around this same time.
This is for the father who said he wasn't ready to be a father but when he heard his newborn's first cry, he stepped up to the plate.
This is for the father who knows a diaper needs to be changed or a mouth needs to be fed and does it himself.
This is for the father who rises in the wee hours of the morning to make it to a job he's wanted to quit for so many years, but does it again the next day and the next and so on.
This is for the father who leaves work early to make his son's recital or his daughter's ball game.
This is for the father who stays home to raise his children and enjoys every minute of it...well, almost every minute.
This is for the father who makes every effort to attend his child's doctor appointment...because he wants to.
And this is for the father who no longer is with us but his guidance and teachings are felt each and every day.
Happy Father's Day.
Dr. Jeremy
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I miss my Daddy every day and I say to those men who are out scattering their seed broadcast across the world with no thought of the children who spring up -- leaving them to be *fathered* by Uncle Sam and his neighobours, i say that you are missing out on the greatest adventure of your life.
God and Daddy were always friends, and I know he is happy now, but we miss him very much.
P.S. Its rather sad that 90% of the people boo-hooing in the streets over Michael Jackson, a total stranger to them who never would have given them the time of day, will walk right past the next door neighbour whose father died last week, too, and whom they have walked past and ignored for the last 50 years. Think about that.
everydayisagoodday
He was a wonderful, loving dad who died far too soon. I would have been a very different person but for his guidance. I'll always miss him and wish he could have seen me as an adult.
It surprised me but I find great comfort in hearing you admit this. I know I will always feel like Father's Day is for my Dad. I have been told countless times how much having children "changes everything." Of course it changes one's life deeply. But there are many things it does not change, at least not for everybody.
I have many friends now who never had their own children, and we all agree that most people with children make judgments about our lives without children and presume to know what we feel; something we wouldn't dream of doing with them. I have had people say to me: "If you had your own children, your father's illness/death would be easier for you." This sort of talk is presumptuous beyond all decency, and has always seemed to me like a lame attempt to isolate the child-free person in an attempt to reinforce their own feelings about being a parent.
Your honesty about your feelings for your Dad on Father's Day, ten years after his passing, breaks down these walls between people with children and people without children. I never set out to have children. So much freedom, and extra energy and time, comes with not having children that I was able follow my own personal calling, to use my gift to make the world a little better, which gave my father great satisfaction to see. He saw in my gift so much of himself.
Stop waking up every Father's Day with this conflict in your head. Go ahead and honor your own father, every Father's Day for the rest of your life. Look at his photograph when you wake up and remember all that he did for you, or say a few words of thanks to him silently, or tell your children some good stories about him. Just do whatever comes natural to you. Then go ahead and enjoy your own Father's Day; pass on the tradition, give your children their own memories of Father's Day, that in itself can be a way to continue to honor you father on this special day.
ESF: notice my status change from yesterday, of course we acknowledge father's day...what is wrong with you?
Dr O.
By the way.....your female-centric colleagues here on daily strength didn't acknowledge Father's Day either.....big surprise!
My dad and I didn't speak to eachother the last 6 months of his life. I'd been going through a rough patch in my life and I told him about it and his response was 'If you don't like your life, then go kill yourself.'. 'Nuff said.