What is Borderline Personality Disorder? by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross/Marriage and Family Therapist: at DailyStrength Doctors and Experts

Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management br br She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…

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What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Posted in Anger Managemen... by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross on Jun 17, 2009

The term Borderline seems to be used quite often now, and it has become a part of non-therapeutic speech. There have been movies about this disorder, such as "Girl, Interrupted", and television characters that are said to have Borderline Personality Disorder. It is a a term that is often misused to describe a mental illness that results in a certain personality type. People will ask me what it means. What are they on the borderline of? In a sense, the name is actually is misnomer.

The term was coined in the 1930s to describe a mental illness that lay somewhere between neurosis and psychosis. The term really doesn't describe the disorder at all because it has nothing specifically to do with either condition. It is in fact a mood disorder (classified under Personality Disorders in the DSM) that is more common than one may think and can be devastating and disruptive to individuals and families.

The person with this disorder will describe feelings of emptiness and internal conflict. There is an impulsivity component to the disorder that for some can make even normal functioning challenging. There is an emotional hunger and need to connect, typically followed by an angry outburst or accusation that leads to impaired interpersonal relationships. Substance abuse is common among these patients and the impulsivity can result in over spending or other financially chaotic behaviors. In many cases, the person who suffers from this disorder perpetrates self-harm (self-mutilation) and frequent suicide attempts are usually part of the profile.

Clearly these individuals are in a great deal of emotional pain and the fact that others have difficulty remaining connected to them only serves to exacerbate the feelings of loneliness and despair. Even clinicians struggle to maintain a relationship with these clients because of the unpredictable explosive anger that may be directed towards them during treatment. The challenge and the imperative goal are to understand the internal struggle that these individuals feel and to help guide them to a better, more stable place. Consistency in the therapeutic relationship is crucial towards the healing process.

A leading psychologist in the field, Dr. Marsha Linehan has created a treatment approach for people suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder that has been shown to be highly effective. It is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy and it can help patients become aware of their thoughts and assumptions in life and teach them to react in a more effective way. It helps them to change their thought patterns. Dr. Linehan tells her patients, "Your problem is that you don't how to regulate yourself, and I can teach you how." Her success in teaching patients how to self regulate and thereby improve their life and the lives of those who love them has been a great accomplishment in the field of psychology.

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CONDITIONS AND COMMUNITIES: Anger Management • Anxiety • Caregivers • Depression • Eating Disorders • Family Issues • Healthy Relationships • Loneliness • Personality Disorders • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-Injury

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Displaying comments 33-14 of 53

Sounds like both my ex's.....lol cept they were both diagnosed with bipolar. major anger management problems. I know my first ex is on medication for it now, but I don't know about my second ex. Her daughter has it too, so it must run in families. Her other daughter, oldest one, has this thing where her periods are always real heavy, and mood swings are extremely bad, more so then normal, so they put her on probiotics for it, which helped alot i guess.. I told my ex once I said, how would anyone know if their monthly cycle mood swings are worse then normal? about every girl I've ever met in my life kicks every man out of the house around her when she's on her monthly, so I always thought that was normal woman behavior *shrugs*

By fullerr81 Jun 20, 2009

My brother is 59 years old an was diagnosed with being bipolar years ago. he was confined to psych wards in hospitals whenever his alcohol consumption overtook his brain and he became violent, disoriented and psychotic. He did drugs like heroine at the same time. Not a good way to live your life and certainly not good for your body. As he realized he didn't want to live this way the rest of his life, he moved from the coastal town he was living in, where nothing and no one is happening in that sleepy town of vacated beach homes. He moved to the city and began a workout regime at the local gym, found himself a place to live in a shared home with a retired widow. He lives in the lower level of a two level home and maintains the gardens as well as pays rent. He takes 2 mile daily walks and has lost over 130 pounds in this last year. He feels great for the first time in years and he is now off of his meds. full of confidence and looking forward to attending school in the fall for his certification in master machinist work. He now has the goals, the friends, the family support, the church and city life full of opportunities that he didn't have while living in a deserted coastal area. He has made contact with his two children in CA and is a proud grandpa twice over. His life is rich and full of positive events. He did this all on his own, though he did have help from the VA and relatives. But, it does go to show that there is help if you are willing to reach out and get it. I am pleased he is doing well and hope he never goes back to the drugs and drinking that took over his life earlier. He was a mess, too so it's a real testament to "want-power" in a person's life to not give up on yourselves. Just find a better way and get help. People are willing to help.

By Cybercatxq Jun 20, 2009

sometimes the anxiety is part of borderline and i know that the DBT ( well what i learned of it ) helped me a lot , al ot more than any other therapy did. The only thing i didnt like wa the New Age ish feel of it. THat made me uncomfortable.

By jewell7777 Jun 20, 2009

Wow. I wish i had this when i was a teen. i was diagnoised with B.P.D. and they just put me on pills. It seems i have outgrown it completely but sometimes some things come back. It is extrmeley difficult and i am glad there is help out there.

By irislove418 Jun 20, 2009

Just a note. the person in my life with BPD also has implication of bipolar, obsessive/compulsive behaviors and sociopathic tendencies. I am not sure if these other disorders go along with the BPD, lead to it, or are a result of it. Maybe I am just the lucky one to have this all included in this one difficult person but all I can say is that it is a living nightmare to have this kind of person in your life. So many time I have asked what i have done to deserve this kind of treatment by another human being but I have to remind myself that she is also a master of manipulation and that is how she lives with herself and how she destroys others' lives.

By desrtrse Jun 19, 2009

I have one of these in my life and it has been pure hell to say the least. The biggest prblem with her is that she refuses to believe there is anything actually wrong with her and her behavior. She constantly blames everything on everyone else. I have had to work really hard to remove myself from her violent outbursts because she is extremely physically abusive and aims to kill in the midst of her explosions. The cause is usually based on distorted thoughts in her head so there is nothing i could ever do to stop her. She sees everyone as her enemy and ignorant. There is no reasoning with someone like this and unless they can admit to having a problem, like everything else, they cannot be changed. I have convinced her into therapy several times but of course no one knows what they are talking about cause she knows better, or else she just tells lies to the therapist which makes her look like a victim. If you have someone with this disorder in your life you know what I am talking about. It has been the most difficult burden on me but she won't go away, so I have to stay guarded and keep strong boundaries up where she is concerned. It took me several years of my life lost before I figured out what the problem was. It took a terrible toll on me and it has been a long road back from deep depression caused by her abuse. I have to work very hard to not live in anger over the time, money, and family I have lost due to her mental illness. But I now am very clear that she is completely out of control mentally ill and I am not a bad person. I just want freedom from the horror that she has brought into my life.

By desrtrse Jun 19, 2009

Maybe it's better to have a borderline than dysfunctional personality

By Cybercatxq Jun 19, 2009

I have suffered with a PD for over 30 years. I am about to lose my job because of an attitude. I have been to the finest therapists in my state and have worked extremely hard at trying to help myself. I know for me there is no hope so I am just here to say good luck to all of the younger people with this disorder. There is hope for you. The ones like me that came before you have tried to help therapists understand this disorder better and so now from our trial and errors, they are helping all of you. Good luck.

By dancinglady Jun 19, 2009

People can have traits of a diagnosis - in fact everyone has some traits of one diagnosis or another but that doesn't mean they qualify for having the actual diagnosis. There are very specific guidelines for each diagnosis in the DSM but in general clinicians look at how much the apparent negative behavior interferes with someone's day to day life functioning. If this is something of great concern to you ask your therapist to explain the diagnosis of BPD to you and to elaborate on why he doesn't feel you have BPD.

By CSR Jun 19, 2009

So what are the basis diagnostic differences between bipolar and borderline personality. I am diagnosed bipolar 1, but my student-psychologist daughter, who considers herself an expert thinks I have elements of this in my personality, although because of the depression and mania/hypomania, I am obviously bipolar. Where do you draw the line? My pdoc, who I have been with for 10 years doesn't think I am, but as my daughter says - I often don't show him the real me. I guess the fact I have been with him so long, and have a solid relationship shows that I might not have borderline. On the other hand, some of those symptoms ring an uncomfortable bell. Double diagnosis?

Angie

By Angela53510 Jun 19, 2009

Like most mental health labels, the name BPD is given to describe a certain set of symptoms and or behaviors. It is a way to categorize and unfortunately labels can sometimes be misleading and even damaging. But often labels are helpful for both professional communication and for individuals with the diagnosis to learn about their disorder and recognize that they are not alone. As many here have mentioned BPD patients often have a history of mental and or physical abuse and it often coexists alongside another mental health diagnosis. There are profound variations even within the population of people with BPD. The phrase you posted "I hate you, don't leave me" is such a great description of the internal workings of someone with BPD. As you know, it can be a constant struggle to be free of the pain but with some consistency of relationships and the right treatment plan, you can learn to manage your emotions so they don't feel so overwhelming.

By CSR Jun 18, 2009

Well I have been suffering from some psychological disorder since the death of my father in 1981. I have an upday followed by a down day. A brain specialist in India conducted EEG test continuously to understand the problem of overnight change in mood. When he could not find any difference in EEG over 72 hrs, he referred me to a psychologist who diagonised it as bipolar & prescribed Lithium & Tegritol. I showed some effect in first couple of months but did not help after that. The psychogist in USA has said it is not bipolar disorder. It a personality disorder.

By hindustani41 Jun 18, 2009

Cyndi,
I responded earlier to this, but i have a question.
Do people have BPD and that causes the emotional disregulation, self harming, etc, or do people who self harm, cant manage emtions, etc. have BPD because they do those things? I dont know if you understand what i'm asking. Maybe this way is more clear: Do the symptoms cause the disorder label or does having the disorder lead to the symptoms/behaviors?

By metalheadlxlxl Jun 18, 2009

DS has so many great members with so much valuable information! Thank you all for sharing your info and knowledge here. And thank you TaylorTrash for your edit!

By CSR Jun 18, 2009

For those who really care about a loved one with BPD, as BPD please, do not try to talk a BPD out of their feelings, we only get more angry....
VALIDATION is the key, i'm not saying validate the bevahiour but if you validate a BPD feelings you may not have to deal with the behaviour...

Validate but don't engage also, know that we BPDs go through the gamet of emotions in an hour....So one min we are in rage and 2 mins later we could be laughing..Don't engage,VALIDATE the feelings and set loving boundaries for yourself....

By davenger Jun 18, 2009

Great article, and DBT therapy is helpful to not only Borderline patients, but Bipolar as well. It's a much more active form of treatment, teaching you how to best manage your symptoms, rather than just passive group therapy.

Also, you might want to correct the spelling of Dr. Linehan's name in your article.

By TaylorTrash Jun 18, 2009

There is a good article today on the link between a gene and depression. Go to www.thebuzzonlife to view the article. It said, "One of the most celebrated findings in modern psychiatry — that a single gene helps determine one’s risk of depression in response to a divorce, a lost job or another serious reversal — has not held up to scientific scrutiny, researchers reported Tuesday"

By TheBuzzOnLifecom Jun 18, 2009

It is weird that this is posted today. My whole family thinks that I have a personality disorder. I have not been diagnosed with it yet, but I have been diagnosed with bi-polar and ptsd, and other things. Yesterday, I had a day long rollercoster episode. This information is very helpful to me, thank you.

By Alice971 Jun 18, 2009

One more thing...BPD diagnosis is definitely given too frequently, just as Bi-polar is. I am blessed to have a wonderful therapist who has been very clear that although I have some of the symptoms of BPD, that is not my primary diagnosis. I have went through so many diagnosis. Major Depressive D/O, GAD, Bi-polar, PTSD, Dissociative D/O, Panic D/O, Conversion D/O,many more. Because the symptoms overlap- it takes a well-trained and experienced therapist and psychiatrist to determine the right one. My diagnosis is now PTSD (which covers everything), and Panic D/O with Agoraphobia. I strongly encourage you to NOT diagnose yourself with BPD- or diagnose others just because they display symptoms. Many times there are other issues and a totally different problem at the root of their symptoms.

By rarekyrose Jun 18, 2009

Interesting that this topic is being covered now, at a time when I REALLY needed it. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2004 and have been in intense treatment since. Some of my symptoms though were of BPD, but not enough to be diagnosed with it. My therapist recommended we try DBT to see if it would help with emotional regulation and these HORRIBLE feelings of loneliness and worthless. It has helped tremendously. I am a student majoring in Psychology and noticed I had some of the symptoms but it overlaps with PTSD in alot of areas so I just wrote it off. I found a very helpful site with DBT worksheets and information. VERY HELPFUL! It is www.dbtselfhelp.com . Some people have written me off as "unfixable" but I refuse to accept that. Yes, it is a personality disorder and it will definitely take ALOT of hard, persistent work for the rest of my life- but I refuse to be afraid and live with feelings of abandonment and rejection the rest of my life. One comment on here asked if people might be born with this. It is a personality disorder so most of the symptoms and traits are learned thoughts and behaviors, whether they are self taught at a young age, or learned from others. My BPD was self taught in alot of ways because I was abused in MANY ways by family, friends, and the cult I belonged to. I learned to cope by "hurting" myself (cutting, feelings of worthlessness, overeating) to make the emotional pain a little more bearable. My parents were abusive, emotionally unavailable, and negletful- so that feeling of being abandoned and never feeling love continued to grow and grow throughout my life. A very significant symptom in BPD, that I find I still struggle with is "object consistency". Most people learn at a very young age, when their parents or caregivers leave their sight, they will return. When you don't have that love and trust with your caregiver- you simply don't learn that. So, when you fear "abandonment." And as we all know, people come and go in our lives. They cannot always be present. My biggest problem is when someone leaves me (just leaves my home)- I feel total panic and fear- and the intense loneliness is almost too much to bear at times. Hope this helps. I pray for anyone with BPD (or PTSD)- and I hope others pray for me as well.

By rarekyrose Jun 18, 2009

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