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Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management br br She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…
FAST FACTS
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
The term Borderline seems to be used quite often now, and it has become a part of non-therapeutic speech. There have been movies about this disorder, such as "Girl, Interrupted", and television characters that are said to have Borderline Personality Disorder. It is a a term that is often misused to describe a mental illness that results in a certain personality type. People will ask me what it means. What are they on the borderline of? In a sense, the name is actually is misnomer.
The term was coined in the 1930s to describe a mental illness that lay somewhere between neurosis and psychosis. The term really doesn't describe the disorder at all because it has nothing specifically to do with either condition. It is in fact a mood disorder (classified under Personality Disorders in the DSM) that is more common than one may think and can be devastating and disruptive to individuals and families.
The person with this disorder will describe feelings of emptiness and internal conflict. There is an impulsivity component to the disorder that for some can make even normal functioning challenging. There is an emotional hunger and need to connect, typically followed by an angry outburst or accusation that leads to impaired interpersonal relationships. Substance abuse is common among these patients and the impulsivity can result in over spending or other financially chaotic behaviors. In many cases, the person who suffers from this disorder perpetrates self-harm (self-mutilation) and frequent suicide attempts are usually part of the profile.
Clearly these individuals are in a great deal of emotional pain and the fact that others have difficulty remaining connected to them only serves to exacerbate the feelings of loneliness and despair. Even clinicians struggle to maintain a relationship with these clients because of the unpredictable explosive anger that may be directed towards them during treatment. The challenge and the imperative goal are to understand the internal struggle that these individuals feel and to help guide them to a better, more stable place. Consistency in the therapeutic relationship is crucial towards the healing process.
A leading psychologist in the field, Dr. Marsha Linehan has created a treatment approach for people suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder that has been shown to be highly effective. It is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy and it can help patients become aware of their thoughts and assumptions in life and teach them to react in a more effective way. It helps them to change their thought patterns. Dr. Linehan tells her patients, "Your problem is that you don't how to regulate yourself, and I can teach you how." Her success in teaching patients how to self regulate and thereby improve their life and the lives of those who love them has been a great accomplishment in the field of psychology.
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Displaying comments 53-34 of 53
Got a Question?
I can only say that I am trapped in the wrong persons body because I want to live a happy, loved life but can't seem to. So I suffer each and everyday until the years pass and the spark within me fades, what else can a borderline do?
If I have any question here they would center on the words "learning" and "teaching". They may tend to imply a "parent child" relationship between therapist and patient,? For me this is the default that triggers the symptoms. A couple of books that have helped me are 'Emotional Intelligence' , Daniel Goleman, and 'Thoughts and Feelings'; Mathew McKay, Ph D, Martha Davis Ph D, and Patrick Fanning.
I've learned caution as to who I turn to for professional help were I to want to maintain the: I'm not OK you're OK," relationship with my therapist by choosing one I think will be supportive in sustaining that imbalance in my self.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy sounds very similar to Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The latter is what has assisted me in my struggle over time to self regulate. Is it fair to compare the two approaches?
I wish Dr. Linehan much success and you as well and I thank you for writing and posting this very informative piece.
And also, if it helps anyone, I found a lot of problems from not really knowing myself or even being able to explain to anybody about feelings so get well read. You may read things and disagree or read things and have the magical words, be cynical and try to be objective but you may find out more avenues to read about. You can do similar things yourself with a diary and a list of feelings events or people provoke at the time. Either that or swear a lot and stomp about. (The last bit hasn't worked yet but I'm not a quitter!)
I've been misdiagnosed in the past with personality disorders, and I believe I most match up with BPD. [ None of my doctors or psychiatrists have evaluated me for it mind you, only schizophrenia, bipolar, etc. ] Do you have any advice on how I could bring this up to my doctor that I feel I have a borderline personality?
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Discussions Back to Discussion List BPDs BE CAREFUL.. Stop Watching this Topic
davenger
View More Posts To my felloe BPDs i know i do not have to tell you how painful this disorder is and how MISUNDERSTOOD it is, i know a lot of us SI and are at the brink of suicide...
BE CAREFUL on this site there are true PSYCHOPATHS here that would enjoy causing a BPD to SI or commit suicide.I'm signing off i as i find this site very DANGEROUS for a BPD or OCD, i have both..
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Sunday, June 28, 2009 | A Sad story THANK YOU for your comments, i have not commited suicide yet.
I am in the darkest place i think i've been in my life.I posted on the bipolar forum and i also said some mean thing ONLY aftet i would asked people to stop posting those that know me long know i do have OCD, BPD, BP, PTSD, major depression, i was diagnosed with it from Dr Gene Altman in Honolulu and Dr Alvin Murphy......I'm NOT currently being treated, and i CAN NOT control me BPD and OCD.........I kept asking people to stop posting, i cried and wanted to SELF-INJURED BAD, for the first time in 15 years, after i kept asking people to STOP posting because i could not...........These are some of the hugs they were giving each other, they were enjoying causing someone at the brink of suicide ALL these pain i cried and sat on my computer NOT able to stop for 10 hours.And they kept at it ON PURPOSE.
jaybear (12:11 am)
LOL, I know, that was the wildest thing, wasn't it? Not many of us DID know what the hell to really think of all that, did we? I lean a lot towards the idea of troll, but I could be wrong. I suppose a troll would have come back as another incarnation within half an hour or so, LOL. Do trolls get tired? But yeah, I couldn't buy the poor victim crap we were getting from, "her", because of the vicious things she was sending to everyone's inboxes, ESPECIALLY all the nicest people that were trying to be helpful---at least at first before they had enough! LOL. The thing is, all she ever said was about how cruel we were! What? Are we like supposed to be the pdocs around here? A lot of us have our own reasons we can't help being wiggy, so maybe it was cruel to get US all riled up, ya know? LOL. I'm so glad you had fun, twosides! I was afraid after a while that maybe you felt uncomfortable about it because it was too much arguing. Because of the health issues I've been having for the past several days, I was kinda out there, anyway, so it actually helped me a lot, having an outlet for psychotic moment! LOL. ;D Glad to see you are doing okay tonight. (((hugs)))
JAYBEAR
jaybear (11:55 pm)
Yeah, I know. Kinda sad, isn't it? LOL. No more insane pig piles! LOL. [wipes laugh tears from eyes] It was sheer bloodlust.
Yeah, I changed from the machine gun kitty b/c some people are really triggered by automatic weapons, and such, but yeah, that's part of why I chose the boxing kitty, because for anyone that still read the closed thread early this morning, it still would have almost made sense, LOL. Glad to see you're on too, sunshine
TwoSidesOfMe (6:10 pm)
It sure as hell was fun! I havent had that much fun on here in god knows how long. Loved how many directions the discussion took. It was unpredictable lol. Obsessive compulsive my ass. People make excuses for being jerks
ParagonOpus1 (4:52 am)
TOO FUNNY
Ray of Sunshine
From DontStealMySunshine Yesterday
I think you could've used the punching kitty avatar last night, too! Although, he is kinda cute and not as psycho as the other one, LOL. Glad to see you're online tonight, although I doubt we'll have nearly as much fun or "drama" hah!
I’m With You
From TwoSidesOfMe Yesterday
It sure as hell was fun! I havent had that much fun on here in god knows how long. Loved how many directions the discussion took. It was unpredictable lol. Obsessive compulsive my ass. People make excuses for being jerks
.
THis site has some very good people in it but it can also be DANGEROUS, a lot of people give advice using pop psychology, when they really do not understand a particuar problem..
Others like the ones above do it on purpose and enjoy inflicting emotional pain on others..
.
Pragonopus tried edging me on to commit suicide, even sending a hug asking how was he going to know if i did it or not..
.
To the new comers BE CAREFUL, i am signing off i find this site can be extremelly DANGEROUS.
Specially for BPD and OCD sufferers, there are some very sick people in this site and they would love nothing more than to cause you to SI and commit suicide. They would do it on purpose!!
Pleace BE CAREFUL!
Sunday, June 28, 2009 | A Sad story THANK YOU for your comments, i have not commited suicide yet.
I am in the darkest place i think i've been in my life.I posted on the bipolar forum and i also said some mean thing ONLY aftet i would asked people to stop posting those that know me long know i do have OCD, BPD, BP, PTSD, major depression, i was diagnosed with it from Dr Gene Altman in Honolulu and Dr Alvin Murphy......I'm NOT currently being treated, and i CAN NOT control me BPD and OCD.........I kept asking people to stop posting, i cried and wanted to SELF-INJURED BAD, for the first time in 15 years, after i kept asking people to STOP posting because i could not...........There are some of the hugs they were giving each other, they were enjoying causing someone at the brink of suicide ALL these pain.
jaybear (12:11 am)
LOL, I know, that was the wildest thing, wasn't it? Not many of us DID know what the hell to really think of all that, did we? I lean a lot towards the idea of troll, but I could be wrong. I suppose a troll would have come back as another incarnation within half an hour or so, LOL. Do trolls get tired? But yeah, I couldn't buy the poor victim crap we were getting from, "her", because of the vicious things she was sending to everyone's inboxes, ESPECIALLY all the nicest people that were trying to be helpful---at least at first before they had enough! LOL. The thing is, all she ever said was about how cruel we were! What? Are we like supposed to be the pdocs around here? A lot of us have our own reasons we can't help being wiggy, so maybe it was cruel to get US all riled up, ya know? LOL. I'm so glad you had fun, twosides! I was afraid after a while that maybe you felt uncomfortable about it because it was too much arguing. Because of the health issues I've been having for the past several days, I was kinda out there, anyway, so it actually helped me a lot, having an outlet for psychotic moment! LOL. ;D Glad to see you are doing okay tonight. (((hugs)))
JAYBEAR
jaybear (11:55 pm)
Yeah, I know. Kinda sad, isn't it? LOL. No more insane pig piles! LOL. [wipes laugh tears from eyes] It was sheer bloodlust.
Yeah, I changed from the machine gun kitty b/c some people are really triggered by automatic weapons, and such, but yeah, that's part of why I chose the boxing kitty, because for anyone that still read the closed thread early this morning, it still would have almost made sense, LOL. Glad to see you're on too, sunshine
TwoSidesOfMe (6:10 pm)
It sure as hell was fun! I havent had that much fun on here in god knows how long. Loved how many directions the discussion took. It was unpredictable lol. Obsessive compulsive my ass. People make excuses for being jerks
ParagonOpus1 (4:52 am)
TOO FUNNY
Ray of Sunshine
From DontStealMySunshine Yesterday
I think you could've used the punching kitty avatar last night, too! Although, he is kinda cute and not as psycho as the other one, LOL. Glad to see you're online tonight, although I doubt we'll have nearly as much fun or "drama" hah!
I’m With You
From TwoSidesOfMe Yesterday
It sure as hell was fun! I havent had that much fun on here in god knows how long. Loved how many directions the discussion took. It was unpredictable lol. Obsessive compulsive my ass. People make excuses for being jerks
.
THis site has some very good people in it but it can also be DANGEROUS, a lot of people give advice using pop psychology, when they really do not understand a particuar problem..
Others like the ones above do it on purpose and enjoy inflicting emotional pain on others..
.
Pragonopus tried edging me on to commit suicide, even sending a hug asking how was he going to know if i did it or not..
.
To the new comers BE CAREFUL, i am signing off i find this site can be extremelly DANGEROUS
y......
By JDinNY (New York, New York) - See all my reviews
Enormous strides been made in understanding BPD since 1998 when "Stop Walking on Eggshells" was published. From a 2009 perspective, we can now recognize that "Stop Walking" is (through no fault of its no-doubt well-intentioned 1998 authors) so deeply flawed that it's dangerous. Today, more accurate, updated, constructive, and practical books written by more intelligent, highly qualified professionals allow the reader to benefit from the insights uncovered by research since "Stop Walking" was written.
As of the date of this review (June 2009), I recommend the following: Alex Chapman, Ph.D & Kim Gratz, Ph.D., "The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide" (Nov. 2007).
"The borderline Personality Disorder, survival guide" was written in 07 so is the latest and it has all the MYTHS, which at one time were thought about this disorder.Is written by Alexander L.Chapman PHD, KIM GRATZ PHD, and forword by Perry D. Hoffman PHD (President of National Alliance for BPD.
In the last 5 years there has been a lot of research and advances made on this disorder.I'm sorry but before the last 5 years there are MANY misconceptions about this disorder. So a lot of has been written about BPD before 5-8 years is not accurate anymore.
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
by Paul T. Mason (Author), Randi Kreger
Randi Kreger (Author)
"Is someone you care about causing you a great deal of pain?..."
at this point my attutude towards all these events arenot overwhleming at all, i know i love my husband, he understand me also. but now menapause has started? Well ,i wait before i insult him, mumble under breath,smile and just say if he asks" are you sure you really want to know ?"