The Waiting Room of Your Therapist’s Office by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross/Marriage and Family Therapist: at DailyStrength Doctors and Experts

Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management br br She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…

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The Waiting Room of Your Therapist’s Office

Posted in Anxiety by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross on Aug 31, 2009

Have you ever been waiting for an appointment with your therapist and someone walks out of their session, makes eye contact with you, and you are somehow left feeling exposed? Many therapists have what we call "an escape door" (although I've never liked that term). This means that they have a back door to their office or hall that allows one patient to leave without being seen by the person waiting. Some offices have many therapists in one suite so the waiting room can get quite full on the hour and people are in fairly close quarters.

In my years of practice I have never had a back door so when my schedule is particularly busy my clients have to pass one another on their way in and out of my main office. Several of my clients have reported their feelings about the matter but very few have ever been particularly bothered by the situation. There has been some creative juggling necessary though to ensure everyone's privacy.

For instance I have always made sure that I do not schedule clients who know each other back to back. To the best of my ability I try not to schedule people who have been referred by the same source in the event that they may in fact know each other. If I must schedule two people, who may be connected, consecutively then I give a longer break in between clients to insure that the waiting room will be empty when the next person arrives.

All of this is to say that therapists should go to great lengths to protect your privacy and part of your private information includes the fact that you are coming to therapy in the first place. If you have any concerns about a waiting room situation discuss it openly with your therapist. If you know that a friend or acquaintance is seeing the same therapist and you have concerns about bumping into that person, mention it to your therapist. Keep in mind that your therapist cannot divulge any information about you to another client. So if, for instance, you see someone you know on your way out of session and that person goes into their session and wants to ask about why you are there or any other detail about you, your therapist is bound by strict confidentiality rules that prevent him or her from divulging any information about you.

If on the other hand you are comfortable with meeting and greeting in the waiting room just be aware that others may not be. Try to gauge the other person's response and be respectful of their boundaries when you say hello before making idle chatter. If the other person is game for a conversation while you both wait for your respective therapists (usually in a suite of therapists) then go right ahead. You never know who you may meet!

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Displaying comments 21-2 of 21

My daughter has a psychiatrist she sees for medications management. She's 16, so I am the one who drives her to her appointments. Many times, when sitting in the waiting room, we find ourselves caught up in conversations with other patients and their parents or other relatives. We have learned quite alot about the nature of people, and I think the interaction is good. However, the psychiatrist himself is more than a little odd. He seems almost robotic in his actions with us, and as one other post said forgets information about my daughter. It seems that a quick read of his file sheet could remedy this before we actually walk in. When he asks how she's doing, she really doesn't feel very prone to answering in any detail, because he doesn't really seem to hear anyway. It's very hard to find psychiatrists in this area that treat depression in children, or I think I would go somewhere else. I had seen him, also, but stopped after awhile because of the same issues. She does well on the Wellbutrin that she's on, so I continue to take her there, but I wish the psychiatrist would just try to be more human. When you get more humanity in a psychiatrist's waiting room, than from the psychiatrist himself, it makes you wonder what's wrong with this picture.

By RaeDreams Sep 21, 2009

What about the waiting room while waiting for your appointment. It makes me feel very uncomfortable.

By Waitingforhim Sep 09, 2009

I am an oncologist and have an escape door if only for the fact that not everyone- even children - want it known they have cancer or hemophilia (I am a also a Board certified hematologist) and especially if they have HIV/AIDs!!!! I think it is a great idea!

By CurvyCanuck Sep 07, 2009

I use a psychiatrist about 2.5 hours from here....right across the state line.

By classicgirl35 Sep 06, 2009

yes as if we want our next new friend to need a therapist too.

By donna56 Sep 06, 2009

A good call, although I was waiting in the waiting room last week while my daughter was talking with her therapist, and a younger woman came into the waiting room. I got talking to her about an article that appeared in the newspaper that day, conerning middle class working women who indulged in drinking with work mates whilst pregnant, and the effect that such had on the unborn child.

We both agreed to the dangers associated with such behaviour, and the onus it is bound to put on our medical system in the future, as it is up to the tax payer ultimately to take care of these irresponsible peoples' children. I do not recall exactly what was said next, but she openly told me about why she was there, and whilst I will not go into what she did say, the obvious point that I am making here is that there is an exception to all situations, even the one you present here, albeit in the minority of circumstances.

By BeatinBP Sep 05, 2009

Another useless blog by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross

By ShatteredTom Sep 04, 2009

I see a therapist in a clinic that has combined physical and mental health. You don't know if the people you see waiting upstairs are there for mental health, nutrition, pain class, etc. Makes it easier.

By BKnits Sep 03, 2009

my therapist has a room devider in the waiting room. you sit on one side and can exit out "protected" there is also obnoxious new age music and a waterfall sound to block any conversation and very dim lighting. Its almost too much for me--sensory overload. I prefer to wait in my car until 2 minutes before my session, flip the switch to notify and then hope the bathroom is unoccupied until the therapist opens the door right accross from the BR.

By surferchica Sep 02, 2009

I live ina small community and unfortunately many times i Have been at my therapists office and have run into others I work with. But the worst was when a co worker overheard the clerks at my therapists office talking. She was there for precounseling for weight loss surgery. I to had weight loss surgery but wanted it kept under wraps. She proceeded to tell others that she knew about my weight loss surgery. I was shocked and asked how she found out. She told me and I called my docs office immediately about the situation. They apologized but the damage was done. now my weight loss is not doing well and the thought that people have seen another failure does not make me happy.

By serenityskr Sep 02, 2009

I am glad someone is trying to give us patients some dignity by respecting our right of privacy. While the word privacy does not appear anywhere in the constitution, the founding fathers probably wrote that provision in with invisible ink. Maybe it was the parchment that was invisible and they kept trying to write on it but it kept not working. Maybe they planned to write about it, but things got busy and they kept putting it off. I'm really not sure about this but I'm glad people think of privacy as a safeguard-- not just in terms of our mental welfare, but also because of the safety issue. This is more important in the modern world than it would have been when they were writing the Bill of Rights. So thank you Cindy for setting an example.

By bobcat1967 Sep 02, 2009

My psychiatrist and my therapist both have "escape doors" and I find this very comfortable.

By lanie516 Sep 02, 2009

this article brings back alot of memories. My old therapist had one entrance and the same patient was always seen before me. This was the case once a week for over a year. The patient was usually very emotional after their sessions and would sit in the waiting room with me until my appointment sharing their breakthroughs, or on good day talking wardrobe pieces. I'm not sure that it really benefited me to always be after the same patient and I probably should have switched my sessions around. I think the previous patient at times may have affected how I went into my therapy sessions and having a previous client who was that emotional probably affected my therapist as well. In the end I stopped going to therapy, because my therapist wasen't recalling basic information about me, or information from previous sessions we had gone overmultiple times. I was recommended the therapist by other coworkers and no one else said they had any problem with him recalling information. When I brought it up to my therapist his memory didn't improve, so I don't know if it was bad time of day, or me. However whenever one of my coworkers had an appointment after mine he would let us each know, so we didn't have to feel uncomfortable passing each other in the waiting room. I thought it was appropiate for him to ask us if we would feel uncomfortable and give us the option to try to avoid that person if we wanted to.

By lessjess Sep 01, 2009

My counselor has a second room where sensitive clients can go to be alone. It is very helpful especially when you have social anxiety.

By AliceNWunderland Sep 01, 2009

When I was in therapy in the absence of a back door my therapist used a large blanket she was holding walking me out... I thought it was king of silly but it was somehow entertaining....

As a mental professional myself in a small town I rarely take precautions, my clients usually are open with me in this issue but I kind of push their boundaries (if I judge it won't bother them too much) in an attempt to make them feel more comfortable with their situation and actually not feel embarrassed as they get used to seeing other people just like them who also ask for help and don't feel ashamed for having therapy.

Of course that is only if I know that they do not know each other or have some kind of acquaintance. In this case I strictly avoid it because I am sure they will start asking each other why they are in therapy.

From my personal experience I have several times found myself in a difficult position even when in my Physician's or my gynecologist's practice where I meet people I know and they ask me in front of 10 other people what problem I have.....

By paparouna Sep 01, 2009

Ever sit in the waiting rm and try to figure out whay tje otjer people might be there for... Only to realize that what you see in them is a reflection of yourself?

By maittai Sep 01, 2009

I do live in very small town, one way in and one way out. I was both raised and grew up with many. Also, having worked in and with the community as a 'Support Worker'. It is typical to meet those aquainted in my town, as it is assumed with country & casual.

It does matter on the level and the comfort zone of the individual. Most importantly, for this fact, I do emphasize to my 'Therapist and their Staff', my acknowledgement of 'HIPPA' (Privacy Act). As casual as we may be, there are those that may 'yap', and I let them know (tactfully & respectfully) my rights and their responsibilites at the get go.

Meeting my ex-clients, (I feel) has been no problem. As we have always concluded that, it is those that know & seek help that makes a difference. I was not someone to look up to, but to be on the side of - we have learned and walk together. That is what made it comfortable for me.

By it2speaks Aug 31, 2009

I'm glad to see this addressed because it's been a touchy area for me too.We live in a small city so it does sometimes pose a problem,if not just plain embarrassment.I think most ppl. realize that a Therapists' office is a private place and do their best to respect others,but there's always that fear that someone who is not so respectful will notice you and make you wish you had not sought help.I hope ,for those of you out there who fear this,that you just simply ask your therapists what would be the best way to handle this,or what options are available for your comfort in this area.

By denicew Aug 31, 2009

If I meet a person coming or going from my therapist's office I generally say hello. But if they look the other way, or act embarrassed, I don't. Most people I have run into seem to be friendly and I guess we figure we are all in some sort of a similar situation.

By grandmac Aug 31, 2009

There were really instances that patients are bothered by that situation especially when the patients are shy about their situation. By the way, thenks for this article! Anyway, why is it there are people who are not ashamed to insult publicly? Take for instance Anne Heche. Hardly anybody had ever heard of Coley Laffoon, and not many people really give a tinker's cuss about him, and probably won't for some time to come. However, Anne Heche has a bone to pick with him – obviously, because she used to be married to the bum. In her recent appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman, she ripped him a new one. "Can I call someone lazy on TV?" later followed by stating that what he did for money was to "go to the mailbox and say I got another check from Anne!" The former couple had a child together, and she made it known she does not wish to be around Coley Laffoon at all, so maybe he should get some Anne Heche, or maybe a job.

By JesseS005 Aug 31, 2009

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