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Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management br br She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…
FAST FACTS
Simple Steps to Maintain a Happy Relationship
Most of the things I will mention in this article are simple ways to bring a smile to your partner's face and warm your own heart. If there are deep rooted issues of mistrust and anger these tips may make things feel a bit lighter and go slightly smoother but they will in no way address the underlying problems, and may even prolong the inevitable. But if, on the other hand, your relationship just needs a little pick me up (as most relationships do at some point) then here are some good ways to start:
1) Say "I love you" more often.
2) Initiate simple touching more often such as hello and good by kisses and hugs (I am always surprised by how many couples run out the door to carpool or work without an affectionate good-bye).
3) Make a date-night or have special one on one time at least weekly if not more often.
4) Talk more about what you are feeling. Tell your partner more of what is going on with you when you are contemplative or withdrawn. Simply put - let your partner in more.
5) Listen more to your partner. To add to #4 listen as your partner tells you what is going with them instead of always racing to get the task de jour done.
6) Ask questions. Remember when you and your partner were dating and you took a real interest in their day and their stories? You most likely asked questions and engaged in conversations. Don't stop now even if you think you have all the answers. We all change over time and the answer to the same question asked 10 years earlier may be completely different now. The problem is usually not that people change and grow apart, as we are so often lead to believe, but that people change while their partner isn't paying attention and that creates the distance.
7) Accept the humanness of your mate (and hope they do the same for you). Everyone has their failings - their shortcomings. Recognize what those things are in your mate and learn not to be so reactive (assuming they are not deal-breakers to the relationship). Acknowledge that even their weaknesses (and yours) are part of what makes them a whole person.
8) Give gifts and notes. A material display of affection doesn't need to be pricey (or it can be). A sentimental item, a candy or dessert, a flower will all serve the purpose of letting the other person know that you were thinking of them when you were apart. It makes the other person feel good.
9) Play together. As you go through your days accomplishing the business of life remember the things you did together, when you first dated, that made you eager for another date together. If those are things you are no longer interested in then come up with new ways to play together.
10) Show your gratitude for the other person's presence in your life. Acknowledge, on a regular basis that you appreciate what they do to take care of the family or to make your house a place you like to come home to. Don't wait for the Hallmark Holidays to verbalize these words of appreciation. Sprinkle them throughout your life together.
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Displaying comments 1-1 of 21
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I believe this is so very important. Sometimes we get wrapped up in our daily events we forget the little things that bring us joy and make us feel appreciated. Sometimes we get carried away with trying to help others and give words of kindness and encouragement to them which is nice, but on the other hand we sometimes forget our partners,husbands,wives etc.we forget to make them feel important and loved, and that their feelings are valid,wheatwer your agree orCommunication" title="http://disagree.Communication" target="_blank"> disagree.Communication can be difficult at times especially when it is an emontional issue. Sometimes writing a letter about your feeling to one another is just a little easier,when it is hard to speak, it just takes a little time.Leave a card or note to express your feelings,just because you Love them. Never go to bed mad-always kiss your partner good by, because you never know what may happen. Treat each day like it was your last day,appreciate what you have and not what you don't.Be honest even if it hurts,but do it in a caring way. Secrets and hiding things that happen always seem to surface in one way or another,so do the right thing-be open.To error is human-to forgive is divine,and remember no one is perfect. Take care everyone.
By angel52 Jun 12, 2009
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