The answer to this question is very individual and is based on several different variables. Some therapists have a blanket rule that states that they will not see someone as a couple if they have seen them in individual therapy. If the bulk of the work you have done with your therapist has been around difficulties in your relationship then it may be best to seek an outside couple’s therapist. Many therapists specialize in certain areas such as trauma, addiction or mood disorders and may not have an expertise in doing couples work and therefore would not be your best choice of clinician to see with your partner.

By contrast if you have worked with your therapist for a while, and feel that he or she knows you and your circumstance well, and that therapist does have special training in couples work then it may be very beneficial to see the same clinician with your mate that you have seen on an individual basis. The advantages to this are manifold. Not only does the process get moving more quickly than starting from scratch, which can save you time and money, but a relationship with the therapist has already been formed which can lead to greater insights on the part of the therapist and the clients.

Key to the success of this type of treatment is the therapist’s ability to remain neutral and to view the relationship on an even playing field. If the therapist begins to take sides or is partial to their individual client they are not doing the relationship work justice. This is a very challenging thing to do and one of the reasons that many therapists opt not to venture into this sticky territory.

If this is something that you are considering, then talk to your therapist about the possibilities. Over the years I have had many clients that I have seen for a while who eventually bring in their mate. Personally I have found it to be helpful not only to the relationship therapy but to the individual treatment as well. I always discuss the pros and cons of this arrangement at the outset so that all parties enter into the treatment informed. There have been several cases that I have referred to outside therapists because the nature of my work with the individual would not lend itself well to transitioning to couple therapy. Unless your therapist has a blanket rule about this counseling practice it needs to be decided on a case by case basis.

Cyndi