Marriage and Family Therapist
Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management br br She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…
Sex Addiction
Posted in Anxiety by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross on Oct 22, 2008

 


There was a recent news article about David Duchovny reportedly being treated for sexual addiction.  The information included the news that he and his wife Tea Leoni were separated. It seems to me that this couple was brave in their honest y to the public even if the press had gotten a hold of this information already. Despite being a celebrity couple, they are two individuals with children and lives that have been disrupted, if not shattered, by  the end of a marriage and the division of a family. Often when a celebrity comes forward with a mental health diagnosis it can cast a glamorous light on what is usually a real and serious problem that can cause a great deal of suffering in people's lives.  The term "Sexual Addiction" is a controversial one and one not always agreed upon in the therapeutic community.  Some professionals believe it is a function of other diagnoses, such as a personality disorder, and others believe it is a catch phrase or even a cop out to explain away bad behavior. 


It is generally agreed upon that the addiction component of this disorder is not unlike other addictions where by the individual's desire to engage in the behavior overrides their fear or concern about the consequences.  The compulsive nature of the sexual acts and the inability to find any lasting satisfaction identifies the behavior as abnormal.  The behavior can manifest itself in many different sexual activities such as masturbation, internet porn, telephone sex lines, and physical contact with others.  The high is typically momentary and the low results in feelings of emptiness and pain.  In order to escape these negative feelings the individual seeks out the "fix", in this case the sexual release, and the cycle begins again.


Many sex offenders suffer from a sexual addiction. Even though we understand these types of crimes to be motivated by a need for power and control, it has been determined recently that there are powerful sex drives, evidenced by changes in the brain, that motivate sexual offenders.  As the addiction progresses the addict needs to up the ante and often engages in more risky or more frequent sexual acts.


Whatever one believes about why people act out in this manner, and what language should be used to describe the disorder, we know that it is an extremely self-destructive way to live.  I applaud celebrities for coming out in the open with personal challenges because it brings these issues into the spot light and may help others to identify and acknowledge their own mental health issues.


CATEGORIES: News
CONDITIONS AND COMMUNITIES: Anxiety  •  Bipolar Disorder  •  Breakups & Divorce  •  Depression  •  Family Issues  •  Female Sexual Issues  •  Healthy Relationships  •  Sex / Pornography Addiction
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Displaying comments 11-1 of 11
11
I will have to concur with Agentsmith that what #3 said was basically a denial of the pain of many people. Thats not helpful. Thats like saying that morbidly obese people should just keep eating because food is good, and they aren't hurting anybody else right? I don't think that kind of logic holds water. Sexual addictions can be very destructive and hurtful to more that just the "consenting adults." Think about this kind of stuff before you post on a site designed to support people with ALL kinds of problems.

About the sex offender thing, I agree with Trina that it was poorly worded, but I didn't take it to mean that all sex addicts are offenders. It is true however that a certain subset of all addictive populations are lawbreakers and I'd bet that it is higher than in the general population. Though that doesn't mean that even these addicts are all beyond help. Maybe addictions should be viewed as risk factors for other forms of deviance, but by no means equivalent problems.
By PatfromTexas  Nov 25, 2008
10
To address the question from one of the respondents asking for treatment options, I would like to let you know about an organization called Recovery Nation (www.recoverynation.com), which is free, online, health-based recovery site with a variety of self-help resources for those with a sex, love or porn addiction and their partners. This program focuses on value development, life management skills and emotional maturity, as opposed to the more traditional disease-based model geared towards managing addiction. In many instances the treatment approaches are complimentary. Marsh’s treatment approach involves a functional awareness of addiction, including the role of addiction as a life management tool, the finite role of emotions, understanding compulsive rituals, practical awareness of one's values, boundaries, skills and identity, isolating the addiction from one's core identity and developing the life skills needed to manage a healthy life. The transition to a healthy life requires the mastering of a series of basic life management skills (e.g., emotional management, decision making, goal setting, prioritization, time management and most importantly, value management).
By rainmaker0909  Nov 06, 2008
9
To address the question from one of the respondents asking for treatment options, I would like to let you know about an organization called Recovery Nation (www.recoverynation.com), which is free, online, health-based recovery site with a variety of self-help resources for those with a sex, love or porn addiction and their partners. This program focuses on value development, life management skills and emotional maturity, as opposed to the more traditional disease-based model geared towards managing addiction. In many instances the treatment approaches are complimentary. Marsh’s treatment approach involves a functional awareness of addiction, including the role of addiction as a life management tool, the finite role of emotions, understanding compulsive rituals, practical awareness of one's values, boundaries, skills and identity, isolating the addiction from one's core identity and developing the life skills needed to manage a healthy life. The transition to a healthy life requires the mastering of a series of basic life management skills (e.g., emotional management, decision making, goal setting, prioritization, time management and most importantly, value management).
By rainmaker0909  Nov 06, 2008
8
Its the one line "Many sex offenders suffer from a sexual addiction", that creates a problem. It should read "Of those who suffer from a sexual addiction, a small few also escalate into sex offenders".
Just as all people who drink are not alcoholics, only a few escalate into alcoholism.
I can understand the angst from some here, over that generaliation. Sexual Addiction is already misunderstood by so many, that statement only creates bias. I'm unsure why it was mentioned at all. David Duchovny is not a known sex offender.
By TrinaOz  Oct 25, 2008
7
How would you handle the lost of everything, home, family, friends, relationships, because of addiction to pornography. How would you cope when the head of the family does not pay for your food or make the mortgage payment, so he could spend it all in pornography. I would like to know.
By sedinoel88  Oct 24, 2008
6
The article says that many sex offenders are sex addicts but it does not say that many sex addicts are sex offenders.
By Thriver  Oct 24, 2008
5
To #3, a sex addiction is probably the worst addiction someone can have. It ends many relationships and hurts people a lot deeper than a drug addiction or alcohol addiction could. Having someone you love constantly seeking sexual pleasure with other people instead of you is extremely painful. It is much easier to treat a chemical addiction than it is to treat a sex or love addiction. I am a love addict, and am addicted to a man who is a sex addict and is constantly using a Russian mail order bride website, porn, and graphic picture messages on his phone to get his high. It causes me tremendous amounts of pain every time I see he's been doing it again.

Also, to #2, I don't think the article said that all sex addicts are sex offenders. The guy I'm seeing is a cop, he is a sex addict, but obviously not a sex offender. However, the guy I dated before him turned out to be, in fact, a registered sex offender, and was also a sex addict.
By AgentSmith  Oct 23, 2008
4
Excellent article. I see a few take personal exception to it. It is always good to reason upon things that could possibly lead to dangerous behavior. Taking this article to heart could help someone to stop engaging in behaviors that may have negative effects on anyone affected by them.
By jiggs214  Oct 23, 2008
3
Sex is a great, beautiful thing, and so is love. There is nothing wrong with sex, it's natural. Hopefully i won't ever become a sex addict, however i will say this, there are worse addictions. I would rather people engage in sex than drugs, or alcoholism. As long as it is between two concenting adults, what's the problem, we all need sex, it is an omportant part of life, it isn't everything though.
By cbcp2pco2  Oct 23, 2008
2
I am again very distrubed that the almost instant connection between sex addiction and sex offenders is being made. There are suppsoedly 6% of the population that suffer from sex addiction. Far fewer people are sex offenders.

I suppose that the fact that I am a sex addict automatically relegates me to the dredges of society. Hmmm. This sounds very familiar.

Oh yea, back in the 40s and 50s alcoholics suffered the same judgement. So, maybe someday we can look forward to having a president that is an alcoholic. And before you slam me as a Bush supporter, we have had a president that is a sex addict as well.
By ChooseThisDay  Oct 23, 2008
1
I'm glad you wrote on this topic. Is there a way to post this in the "Spouse of Sexaholics" group?
By Thriver  Oct 22, 2008
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