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Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross is a licensed psychotherapist with almost twenty years of clinical experience in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational management br br She has worked extensively with a wide variety of…
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How To Help Someone When They Are Having A Panic Attack
The other day I was trapped in an elevator. It was a hot and very crowded elevator. I noticed a woman crammed into the back corner in this dreadful space with her husband and 2 very small children and she was very clearly beginning to panic. There was a pregnant woman with an older child and her husband as well who was extremely calm and even joking. Then there were the rest of us that were somewhere in between the emotions of calm and total panic. I heard a man's voice say, "don't panic" in a relatively firm and somewhat harsh tone. The harsh tone may simply have been what it sounded like through my own anxious filter in that moment but nevertheless in was not a calming voice. The advice was clearly sound and rational because panicking in that situation is not useful but if you have ever experienced any kind of panic then you know that being directed simply not to panic is also not all that useful. It can even help to full the fire inside you. Of course we were rescued from the sweltering elevator in about 15 minutes and we all piled out into the cooler air to catch our breath, so this story has a happy ending. Some panic occurs as a result of an event like the one I described here but most often panic attacks happen with no obvious precipitating event. Whatever way it happens it is at best unpleasant and at worst it is terrifying to the sufferer.
Here are some things you can do to help someone else get through a panic attack:
1) Help the person to slow down their breathing. Have them take a deep breath and then let it out as you count to ten. Ask them to breathe in through their nose and out through their mouth.
2) Have them do a simple physical task such as opening and closing a hand slowly. This can help them to refocus and distract them from the anxiety.
3) Ask them to count with you by fives which is also a distraction.
4) If there is an identifiable cause of the panic either remove it from the presence of the panicking person or move the person to another location away from the source. This is obviously not possible in an elevator.
5) Talk to the person in a calm but clear voice (which means one that doesn't sound like you are experiencing panic). You can say "it's okay" but avoid statements such as "don't panic" or "there's nothing to worry about" or "your just having an emotional reaction." These statements are dismissive and can even exacerbate the genuine fear that is being experienced.
6) If the person is unable to calm down after about 15minutes, or you are not completely sure what they are experiencing is in fact panic, then seek immediate medical attention.
Often people who experience recurring panic attacks are aware of what they need in order to calm down. If you want to help a friend or a mate who suffers from this type of anxiety ask them what they need. Ideally you can have this information prior to the onset of an attack. Some individuals like to be held tightly while others can't stand to be touched. Some people feel better if they are on their own and need to get distance and others don't want to be left alone.
It would be great to hear from some of you about what you find helpful when you are experiencing panic. Since everyone's anxiety is unique to them it is valuable to have a number of different tools to chose from when trying to restore a sense of calm.
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Anxiety Disorders in Children
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Healthy Relationships
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Panic Attacks
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My ds was ALONE in our apt and he was worried....he has anxiety/panic attacks.
I don't like small spaces as I am claustrophobic.
All I wanted was to get OFF that elevator.
so glad I had my cell phone and luckily I only had to be there about a half an hour to an hour.
People were talking to me through the elevator doors and got help.
It was stopped between two floors.
Scariest part was when it dropped and the lights went off.
Mostly I was worried because I had had a heart attack previousl to this incident.
I was glad I kept myself calm.
I didn't want my ds to be upset.
1. Breathing control might help.
2. I cannot move during an attack, so couldn't move my hand.
3. I cannot speak during an attack, so couldn't count.
4. Getting rid of the person who caused the problem does help.
5. Hypnosis post-hypnotic triggers work much better than just talking.
6. Be very careful what medical attention you get. One doctor wanted to send me to an Emergency Room where I had been abused, which turned a mild anxiety attack into the major convulsions kind.
Some of your suggestions might work for akinesia and aphonia, but probably not for convulsions.
If I am in the shower I sometimes sing to myself or call my husband to come into the bathroom and talk to me about something really normal and every day. I think talking and singing work well because it forces me to keep breathing instead of clenching up.
I hope this helps someone
The process I use is:
1) In a quiet voice, ask if I can help. This is very important to me - it expresses respect for the person, let's them know I am listening to them. It is the opposite of saying "don't panic." The person usually won't answer. It's the asking, the listening, that are important. If they do answer, respect and follow the answer.
2) Tell the person to take a deep breath. Instead of counting, I breath along. That often works better than counting, as long as you aren't panicking too.
As a massage therapist, I'm usually in a position to use physical contact - I usually already am in contact. I keep in contact, continue deep breathing, and occasionally speak in a reassuring, respectful, and quiet voice. I am not a mental health professional, so I make no attempt to understand the underlying issues, offer no advice beyond the moment, ask no hard questions, answer no hard questions.
Once the episode passes, I try to make sure the person has a chance to rest and recover.
Obviously, if the episode lasted more than a few minutes, I would seek advanced professional help.
The biggest downfall of it, is the smell of your breath afterwards (not so great at work!) but gum or breath mints can help that.
I used to call it my 38 seconds of insanity. I now have it down to about 6, but they are very intense seconds. I didn't go to church for about 4 years... I did try many times. I have been on a massive amount of medicine. I am doing better, still work full time, and have made it all the way through church 3 or 4 times as of late.
I do the deep breathing in the count of 4, hold 4, and release 4. If I am still panicing I repeat the process, until the demonds go away. 4 GP's say that I am having seizures, 3 or 4 specialist say they are just panic attacks. They don't hurt other than my body squeezes. It affects, my walk, occassional make me hit the floor, and occassional I let out a sort of scream.
With all that is wrong I am doing pretty well. I am a chronic tinnitus - hyperacausis sufferer, since 1979.
Any suggestions...
Thanks.
In situations like this, when I see someone suffering, I am compelled to step forward. Sometimes all that is needed is a kind word, that human connection, to lessen the fear or to slow (even stop) the escalation.