Widows & Widowers Support Group

I was with my husbands siblings when he died. We are forever bonded by this tragedy. I have made a point of including them in everything concerning David. They loved him and he loved them. I feel they love me too and would do anything for me-likewise. Another area I have to count my blessings
Let your daughter work though this with his family or you will become the bad guy. Better she see's things for herself and come to her own conclusions. She is probably looking for a little piece of her dad.

I'M ESTRANGED FROM CINDY'S FAMILY!!! FOR 10 YEARS I WAS A GOOD SON-IN-LAW WHO TREATED THEM W/ MORE RESPECT THAN EITHER OF HER BROTHERS DID. (CINDY'S EXACT WORDS TO HER DAD ONCE) I LOVE & STILL CARE FOR HER FAMILY, BUT I REFUSE TO EAT THEIR CRAP! THEY WERE A DYSFUNCTIONAL BUNCH, AND CINDY WAS THE GLUE THAT HELD THEM TOGETHER. I ENCOURAGE HER CHILDREN TO VISIT W/ THEM, B/C THEY ARE THEIR GRANDPARENTS. HELL I RAISED THE KIDS AND THE IN-LAWS HAVE TRIED TO TURN THEM AGAINST ME. TELLING THEM I KILLED THEIR MOTHER!!! SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO HAVE A REASON FOR THINGS HAPPENING, BUT I'M NOT A SCAPEGOAT!! SORRY ABOUT THE VENTING. LET YOUR DAUGHTER GET TO SEE THEM FOR HERSELF, GO ON W/ YOUR LIFE, & GOD BLESS YOU. HOPE THIS HELPS, RIP.

Just an update on my in law situation to add to all of these posts and my earlier one....I have been coordsponding with my sister in law (married to my husbands brother) this past week because of a school event coming up that would be really nice if the family came to support my son and cheer him on since this is his senior year in high school and this will be the very last performance for him in marching band (he was part of the band for 4 years and worked very hard). This started the conversation about my husbands families lack of communication with us, forget me how about the kids. So I told her that over the course of almost 2 years many people have expressed their condolences and ask if I/ we have any family near by, I told her that I won't lie or make excuses, I simply say that my sister and her husband live near then comes the question does your husband have family and are they here to help you I just say that I really don't hear from them much then comes the question well where do they live and I say in the same town 5 to 10 minutes from us. My sister in law said it wasn't fair for me to make them look bad they are good people. Well I'm sorry good people don't ignore flesh and blood 2 kids who no longer have their father, they put their pain aside once in awhile to check on the kids especially when they only live 5-10 minutes away. 2 years is long enough. Forget about me. It's about the kids. With all of that said I have had enough. You can make all of the excuses in the world but I disagree with her they HAVE been non supportive. So for my sons graduation it is up to him if he wants to include them I will not address a single announcement to them. It is up to the kids to continue this relationship at this point not me. Mommysw that is probably what you will have to do and definately they don't need to know a single thing about what is going in your life. Eventually in time the kids will see the truth for what it is. I am sorry that you have to go through this. Hugs Denise

I'm so sorry that on top of everything else you guys have to experience this rejection from the family of your loved ones. I don't get it. The one they loved loved you. Their loved one lives on in their grandchildren. They should be drawing closer to share the pain and offering their full support instead of focusing on only their loss. The loss will only continue as they miss being a part of their grandchildrens lives.

I have heard that during times like these you find out who your friends are and that seems to apply to family as well. When my husband died, his friends and family fell off the face of the earth. I do occasionally hear from his family but it feels distant, impersonal and superficial. After 42 years of being married to their relative and being around me, you'd think they would know my heart and care. But that's is apparently not part of my new normal. Some friends have stayed very close and concerned, while others have vanished. I am trying to accept that things change and I am no longer part of a couple and that was really the glue that bound me to them in the first place. It's not about me the person. I will focus instead on what lies ahead and choose my new friends and "family" myself. I suspect a lot of your pain is feeling abandoned by your daughter when you want her to see your pain and support you. But she has her own journey to take and I also suspect may be attempting to make some sort of peace on her on with her father's family for her own healing. Remember it is not about you. Hugs and blessings!