Widows & Widowers Support Group

Hi Rileyann, I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't do it quite as often now but for the first few months and even now when I really dwell on it I can feel his presence and hear his voice.

I no what you mean i talkto him all the time and ask him what hed do. I even have asked for him to hug me and and convinced myself he did, i thought i felt it anyway.im glad im not the only one who does this.

Must be crazy girl thing! Love John

Funny you mentioned this topic. It has been over a year for me and today as I was driving home I talked with my guy. I recall not long ago that I would cry driving back because I wanted my life with him again. I want to share today's conversation. I started driving on the freeway and then I thought about him and then i said, "Gerardo, I love you so, so, so much. Please know this. I will always love you. i just wanted you to know that I am happy now. I am happy can you believe that?" It was a complete turn around, no more tears or pain. I know he heard me and i feel that he is happy too.

I actually had this conversation with my husband many times years ago as we faced the loss of so many loved ones. He lost both of his parents and I lost my Dad. I told him that every time I thought of my Dad and I was driving it felt like Dad was sitting there with me and each time I thought a question, an answer in his voice (and one I would not have thought of myself because it was usually picking on me...the way he always did) came to me. It was like he was with me and I told my husband and he said that he talked with his parents all the time. He said that if you have a question and you are alone and quiet and you ask the question the answer will come to you. So of course we always talked to our lost loved ones in our minds and talked with each other about these conversations.

I am not sure if it is "them" or us thinking what they would say if we asked them that question, but I do not care. It is comforting to me either way.

There was a time that I was in a city driving and was tired and sad and frustrated and missing Denny so much and I just lost it there in the middle of traffic. I was so upset that I was having a hard time seeing beyond my tears and it was a very unsafe moment. I then said out loud, "I think I am losing my mind and I don't think I am going to make it, Babe, I miss you so much!" Then I felt the warmth of his hand on my heart (just as much as I did when he placed his hand on my heart before he died) and I heard him say, "It's okay, Babe, I am right here with you."

It totally changed the way that I felt at that moment and I was able to stop crying and see where I was going.

I have had bad moments, but not another one like that.

I do feel Denny's presence.

It is them, or us thinking of what they would say? I do not care what others think about this as it is for me and not for anyone else to judge. It is good enough that my husband also believed this and he said he would never leave me.

I am so thankful I can still hear his voice cheering me on like he always did.

That's my two cents.
-Diana

Rileyann...That is so normal, i still do it but not as often. Right after her death i would lay in bed when i came home from work and if i was not crying i would talk out loud to heras if if i raised my voice she would hear me better. driving to work which takes me 25 min. i would non stop talk to her asking why and what should i do. I know people driving beside me must of thought i was crazy but it helped so much, it took the edge off even thou i new i would never touch her i did not want to let go that she could hear me. Now 14 months later i always get up in the morning say a short prayer for her and tell God to take care of her.I believe they can still see us from up there and what we are doing. take care

I hear a common thing between me and others on here and it is we do most of our talking either in the car or in bed. That is the only free time I have to talk with George and I would Cry so hard going and coming from work I almost would have to pull over, now it has got better as I have his badge in my car with his pic on it and I find myself talking to it. Everytime I get into the car I kiss my fingers and place my fingers on the badge. I feel him around at those times and I talk about the stuiped stuff which is normally what we would talk about when he was with me. In the end I feel good even if I break down and cry.

It's great to hear everyone's experience with this matter...I experience it alot driving and in bed too...I used to talk exclusively with God during those times, as well as throughout the day...now I talk w/ both of them...I've had a few car meltdowns too and I talk to him outloud while driving...I can feel him riding along...I know my partner went to heaven, but I think they come back to visit whenever they want to...I just wish there were phones in heaven...would be so much easier! When I gripe about missing him he says, baby I'm right here with you, closer than ever...I just wish I could see and feel him and hear him. I am just glad to know I'm not the only one that gets hugs from beyond too :)

I remember when my dad died. I really didn't hear it from anyone other than him. The phone rang at work (as usual...busy place). I knew it was for me. A nurse, telling me to hurry to the hospital. I got in the car, and a few minutes later, I felt my dad sitting beside me. Now, my husband is with me in the car. A lot. There is something about cars and bed. Probably the solitude. The isolation. I don't know. But I'm glad when he rides with me. It feels right. And yeah, we talk.

I know pretty much what my wife would say about any particular thing and I sometimes imagine how a conversation about something would play out. I don't classify this as communicating with the dead in real time. I know others who feel the same. We know our late spouse intimately ... they have become part of us.

People have, however, had vivid experiences of speaking with deceased loved ones. You can even have such experiences clinically induced. See, for instance, www.induced-adc.com for a therapy that grew out of a treatment for post traumatic stress. It has helped a lot of people resolve grief issues, though it's recommended for people who are a couple years out from their loss.

--Bob