What is Widows Widowers
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...

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Hi im steve and have just discovered this web site and looks like a good place to be and to get and give support,i lost my wife in september this year aged 38 after 19 years together,was doing sort of ok the last couple of weeks but it would have been fayes birthday on the 29th oct,our anniversary is on nov 30th and obviously christmas,im all over the place again and miss her so much,i think about her everyday and still cry at the thought of her passing,faye had been ill for the last 10 years and seriously the last 6 years,and died from heart related issues.i feel so alone and unhappy,i have given up all my friends to support my wife,i have a big family and have great support but thats now dwindling away as time has gone by.i just seem to sleep and work and its a crap life im living,and just want to be with her again.thanks for reading steve
Posted on 11/05/09, 02:11 pm |
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Hi thank you all so much for kind words and support,i just feel in a world of hurt ,all alone in my own little world.dont answer the phone,dread the postmans letters bearing fayes name on them,you just feel that this will never end,it has already helped me this morning to see 9 new messages in my inbox from total strangers offering kind words and support and ways to deal with this,to not feeling guilty if you laugh,or not feeling guilty if you are planning something nice,i will read that book john ty.the message i get that time really is the healer and shouldnt feel guilty however long it takes,memories fade but the scars still linger,ty all so much for taking the time to email me,i hope that i can get in a place where some of you are and im sorry for you all for the loss of your loved ones ty steve
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Welcome, Steve. The journey ahead is a difficult one, I won't deny that. However, you can do it. You have already been through so much supporting your wife during the last 10 years.
Everything seems so bleak and worthless. Many of us feel like this Steve, and some days are worse than others. The loneliness sometimes is unbearable and the tears uncontrollable. However, it does get a little bit easier with time. My only advice is to learn to take things just one day at a time. Try not to project into the future as it's overwhelming. You are okay for the moment. Let each day unfold and handle things as they present themselves. It is a "crap life" as you said. However, it DOES get better. Promise. Try to stay active on this site. Join in and read discussions, as you are doing. We are here for you. Hugs, Bsbrm/ Barbara
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Steve, sorry for you loss. I too discovered the DS website via Google,
wanting to find something like this. I really enjoy the camaraderie between those of us experiencing these feelings, emotions, etc. I am as much as you in the same boat with my wife being ill for a long period of time. The only difference is that we were together 39 years. Mine also died from heart related issues, so I know where you are coming from. I myself feel alone sometimes, although I have WILLED myself not to be unhappy. How do I do it? By keeping myself occupied (work part time job), and do as much as I can to interact with people. My wife's birthday is coming up next Wednesday (11/11). I will be working that day, so that will occupy some of it. As for the holidays, I have told my family (the kids) not to expect anything from me, because I simply don't feel like it this year. Just know that we are here for you, as well as each other. There are so many issues all of us have to get through, how in the world can we do it by ourselves? Not an easy task! Stay tuned! Dennis
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