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This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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In 2 yrs 9 months I have not posted many discussions here. Well…I have tried to venture away from my usual shyness now for this discussion. The 1st year my husband passed I went to a holiday grief seminar held by a man who lost his daughter to a car accident some years ago, but who has decided to help us all on our journeys. I have been going through my journals recently and came across what he had to say. When talking about his journey he said that our grief is an energy within us caused by love…so when we hear “it is time to move on” – we wonder how we can stop the love we have within us for that person. He said that in all these years his grief over his daughter has changed, but he certainly has not gotten over it. He uses his love for her to help other people. For the holidays he made some suggestions. Grief is tiring, so take good care and get plenty of rest. Also (and this I found helps) things like walking and other exercise are good, and eating properly. For the holidays he suggested having/starting some kind of spiritual tradition for our loved ones. And as far as being with people…for those who plan to be with people to be tentative-and to let them know this. I guess that means if we don’t feel well enough on those days we should have the right and understanding to change our minds about any commitment. I don’t know if any of this can help anyone, but maybe it will. It helped me somewhat.
Posted on 11/05/09, 02:11 pm |
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My grown children, which now both live with me, want to continue the traditons thier father and I done for 25 years, but I told them if I can't do it they will be left to handle it without me. I told them my bedroom was off limits and will and is my place of refuse. I plan on doing only the things I can and if I can't do sometthing either they will have to do it or wiil not get done. I need to be nice to me.
Thanks for the reassurance that I was going in the right direction. Love and hugs, Diane 
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Thank you both for the postings. My son, his wife and 2 sons live with me. We have to celebrate the holidays and I just don't know how well I will do. With keeping my room off limits and making it a place of refuge, it might just work.
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Sue - I think it's both practical, and wonderful advice. To be tentative, yes, and my friends already know I may flee after an hour! This gentleman gives some hard earned wisdom, from a heart that knows grief. Thank you so much for sharing this! Hugs, Marsha
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