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This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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I held my husbands hand as he passed away May 27th 2009 at 1:14 pm
I have been in a fog ever since but that is lifting slowly, now the holidays are coming, his birthday is November 16th then Thanksgiving, then Christmas.. my birthday went ok but I was still pretending to be ok... My mom said something to me that woke me up.. she said the total opposite of what others told me.. most were telling me that I must wait a year before I go out or think about dating, I didn't care, I had no plans of ever dating again.. but she told me that was a bunch of bs... Frank showed me a perfect love, a deep love a love I never felt, we were in love and why would I not want to feel loved again when I am ready not some text book whoopla people tell me is when its right.. if I desire a man again and desire love again it is because I felt love once that was great and I have Frank to thank for that.. yes I will always love him deeply and may never find that kind of love again but I have it in my heart now forever so a different kind of love just might be welcomed someday when I am ready.. maybe a year, maybe next month... only time and healing will answer that. Posted on 11/02/09, 05:11 pm |
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Hi, I'm not sure that we will ever find the kind of love we shared with our significant other. But as a man, the touch of a woman is something I will not forget. Marti was one of a kind, and I know there's someone out there just like her. It's the only thing that keeps me going. Nice thread. Kip. 
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We are like flowers forcing ourselves to function until we break through the soil of despair. Then slowly--but surely--we sprout and begin to live again, little by little. We don't schedule it, but one day we begin to bloom and drink in the rays of life once again. Oh for the sunbeams of hope! Blessings. TJ
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cj,
I believe you are right in feeling that you and you alone know if and when it is time to consider love again. I also believe there is truth in some of the advice you get from others regarding giving yourself enough time. No, none of us will have the same love we had with our lost one because no two people on this earth are exactly the same. That does not mean that we cannot have love again - not the same but just as good. To think that we can never find love again is being narrow-minded. cj, it's only been 5 months for you - give it time (as I am) and it will work out. Bill
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Your mother put it in the best words I have ever heard yet. Thank her for me, I know in my heart that I am not reasy 2 love somone yet,but I also know that DH would not want me to close my heart of to Love.
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Your Mom is a treasure! My own mother passed away 3 years ago, so I don't have her to help me through this difficult time. I know she spent years alone after she and my dad divorced. I don't know how she did it. Send more advice from mom!
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Your mom is right but only you will know when it is time. Your heart and your husband will guide you. You will always carry him within you and no matter what you will not forget that wonderful love you shared. Someday we will see the light at the end of this journey. Hugs Linda
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