Widows & Widowers Support Group

That is one of the things I miss the most. I think part of that is his death was so sudden I do feel prepared for the emptiness. I just cannot find any comfort alone.

I will keep watching to see what some of the others have to say.

Love, Diane

I was alone for 5 months after my husband passed away. I turned to one of our close friends and asked him if he would lay down and hold me because, I was forgetting what it felt like. He told me he would. There was nothing else going on just held me. Every once in awhile I would ask him if he would mind holding me...he always told me he would...funny I have now been in a relationship with this person for awhile. It is going great and he holds me all the time.Never was looking but, found itLove and Hugs

I occasionally take in a Swedish massage, which is wonderful and at this point in my life, better than sex.

Always receiving hugs from well-meaning friends, family and co-workers. Hugs for me go a thousand miles.

All works for me. As for relationships, not ready, nor do I entertain the thought. Nothing I will actively search for. If God and my DH wants me to have someone, he will come to me.

I miss that part very much, my problem is not only I don't feel ready fo someone new but I am very scared about going out and meeting anyone new or where to even begin... but I also feel in time it will happen, at night when I am trying to fall asleep I ask Frank (who passed in May) to hold me, I sometimes feel his strong arms around me and I fall asleep..

Some of my friends offered hugs whenever I needed them - they were glad to have something to do to help. When I needed one, I asked. Since those early days, I have had the privilege of returning the favor whenever any of them has gone through a bad time. Of course, giving a hug means you get one, too! :)

My older son is a hugger - my younger son is not (not surprising as he's autistic) - so I got and gave some hugs there, and still do (he still needs them as well).

I have a huge, overly affectionate Maine Coon cat - he's 15 pounds of purring affection - it helped sometimes just to have him crawl up in my lap and want affection. (There's a photo of him in my photos here.) Having a pet often helps. He grieved for Cliff, too, oddly enough.

Massage has helped a number of people here, I think that's a good idea.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I read somewhere that we need 17 hugs a day, or something like that. I'm going for it! What started after Joe died has become routine - friends, family, customers - hugs are mandatory now. A massage every month or so is SO good. And I'm going out on a limb here, and hope I don't offend anyone, but a little self gratification is ok too. The sum of it doesn't make up for the loss, but short of hiring a professional, what else can we do? (this was a JOKE! Don't yell!) Hugs, Marsha

Both my husband and Bobby were very affectionate men. I miss that so much!!!....... the closeness, hugging,touching, hand holding etc. When I first saw Bobby at the Hospice Grief meeting, after my husband died...he was in really bad shape. After a few meetings, we were all standing around talking and I looked at him and said, "Bobby you look like you need a hug"... I put my purse down and hugged him. He held on so tight and said in my ear "this feels so good".....he was missing it too. I think that when I realized how much I felt for him.........and his death was so sudden...I wasn't expecting it...............being alone is the pits!!! Love, Jenny

I do miss that so much. Lance had a favorite sweatshirt jacket that he wore around the house all the time, so when I need a hug which he was so good at, I put on his shirt to remind me of his arms wrapping around me. As for real hugs, I love hugs from my kids. I am kind of funny when it comes to people that I am not real close to (since Lance has been gone) giving me hugs it is like I shut down and pull away. I don't do it intentionally it just happens. Not sure that this is a good thing. Maybe just holding back my feelings. I don't know.

I am struggling with the lack of physical affection I must admit. My DW and I were always in each others' arms, always touching and holding hands. Through her illness she did not have the energy for much love-making though. I am missing female company a lot I must admit, but am not about to seek gratification there, without love, it seems so shallow. We all have to be careful I suppose and I hope God gives me someone to love in His good time. John

Massage. Hugs. Self-gratification. Animals. Familiar clothing. All good ideas. I still miss sustained human contact! :)) Like a lot of you, though, I am not ready to seek a physical relationship without love. Can't even stand the thought of being with anyone else right now. I always knew I had it good, but didn't realize just how good....until it's gone. Take care, everyone.