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Wedding bands
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There are so many great topics, and it helps so much to see the varying opinions and solutions. So can you all help with this one? I was wondering how you have handled wearing, continuing to wear, or removing your wedding band/engagement ring.
Do the opinions vary according to age? Gender? For me, I wore my rings for over a year. At that time, I intuitively knew--for me--it was time to take them off. I wanted to still wear them but in a different way. I took his and my rings to a jeweler and had a beautiful necklace created from the three of them. I wanted our daughters to have something that they would enjoy wearing after I was gone. So many times rings are put in the drawer after both parents pass and are never used again--not always the case--but sometimes. When I wear the necklace it brings me much pleasure, but few know what it really is. If they comment on it, I quietly explain how it came about. Posted on 10/23/09, 11:10 am |
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I just lost my husband a few short (it feels like long) weeks ago. I'm wearing my wedding band my engagement ring was at the jewelers being repaired when he passed. The tradition for us was the engagement ring goes on top to hold the love in. So I almost felt like I let the love escape when he passed. I'm still wearing my wedding band, because I still feel married, what happened was not his choice or mine.
32 years of wearing the same piece of jewerly is a long time, and I'm not ready to give it up yet. Maybe someday but not now. 
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It's a personal decision. My wife and I had the original rings I gave her when I proposed, and a nicer set we purchased later, when we had more $$. I sold the nicer ones almost immediately after she died, as all the sentimental value for me was in the original rings, humbler though they may have been. I wore mine for awhile, more to ward off women than anything else. When I was ready to consider new relationships, I put the ring aside.
It's that simple for me ... she's gone and our relationship with it. It's a treasured memory, but not a present reality. I owed her only one thing -- to love her with all my heart while she was here to love. Now what I owe her is to cherish her memory. It happens that in my case, the ring doesn't help me with that. I recognize that it's not the same for everyone, though. If the ring helps, by all means wear it. There's not right or wrong about that, and no timetable. --Bob
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The reason I still wear my wedding ring 11 months after my husband died is not because I "feel married", but rather because every time I look at that ring I see the symbolism of an endless band of gold, of light, and of endless love. It is reminder to me that wherever he is now, he still loves me and I still love him. If at some time in the future I wish to let men know that I am "available", I will take it off, but for now it feels very comfortable to wear my ring, and so I continue to do so. laurabp
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