Widows & Widowers Support Group

Hi Mary,
I know we are all made to face people saying things like "Happy 4th.", but we do need to realize they are just being themselves and mean us no sadness. We are sad, no doubt, but many people don't know that.
I will say one thing, after going out on a boat ride yesterday and having it almost capsize, I know that Rich was there and was saving us all!
Just know that Ken is with you on these holidays and he knows you are in pain, but his love will always be there for you!
As is mine! Love you, Mo

I hear you! The whole month of July is going to be hard for me for various reasons, and this year I am remembering the 4th 16 years ago when we were engaged. It was definitely one of the best July 4th holidays I ever had. On the other hand, this is a National holiday honoring our country, and I am trying to focus on that rather than my own feelings. I guess what we need to do is to figure out how to celebrate the holidays in a different way. Last Chrismas was a nightmare for me, with Stan's death on December 5. I still have to figure out how to do Christmas differently this year as I don't want a repeat of sitting there alone crying Christmas Eve. Anyway, know that you are not alone - we are all thinking of you here. laurabp

The holidays are especially hard on us. Like Mo said it's not others fault, but I know you know that. The bottom line is you're hurting so bad it's intolerable.
I'm sorry to say, I've been in the place and that's why I feel so bad for you. Try to relax and do something to try to get through it. Even if it's take a nap, go someplace where you can be alone or with someone. Anything to be kind to yourself until it passes. Sharon

Really sorry if the message I sent upset you. I know that these public holidays always highlight that the one we love is not there. But it can be a time for remembering perhaps and for being thankful for the continuing love of our husbands. Ken is there and will comfort you - I think it is like tuning in a radio - we need to get on the right wave length and then we will know that they are there waiting for us.
Love Margaret

The first year all the holidays sucked. So did the birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Merry? Happy? I don't think so. The second year it's a bit easier. Hope you find a way to make it through this one. Love and Hugs, Martha

It may be hard, but we need to become less sensitive to what others say, especially when it is well intended. There are some things that may strike a nerve with me, yet, it many not even phase anyone here. We need to deal with the fact that there will be resurfacing memories for the rest of our lives, whether they be connected to holidays, anniversaries, words, birthdays--you name it. This is part of the grieving process and all I hope that in time, the rawness of these feelings will lessen and maybe we will be strong enough to share some of our fondest memories of our loved one with others.