What is Widows Widowers
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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Hi my husband died about 13 months ago and am still trying to understand why. He was 51 when he died after 2 yr. brain tumor/cancer fight. We have 2 children ages 15 and 17 amazingly doing okay. They had it rough the 2 yrs. he was sick. I didnt think emotionally it would be this hard. I still remember when he was diagnosed and the long two years. Unfortunatley that is what my daughter remembers too. I am sure my son is the same. I always feel worse for my son b/c he lost his father and I know it must be hard for him especially during boy scouts. Both did very well in school. I cant work b/c of disability so I have long days. I miss him alot and dont know how to get over it or if I am supposed to. My daughter (1 yr. old) can undersand why I still have his picture in my wallet. I also have his ashes in a box in the dresser (sorry to get weird). I just cant open it. I think my daughter knows they are in the house but my son never asks. Anyway thanks for listening or in this case reading. Jennifer
Posted on 07/03/09, 03:07 pm |
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Hi Jennifer, and welcome to DS. Sorry we have to meet this way and sorry for the loss of your husband.Reading your story sounds so similar to mine. My Robert had lung/ brain cancer but he passed away less than a month after the diagnosis of brain cancer and 7 months after the cancer diagnosis. It is tough and each person as I am seeing heals in their own time. My prayers are with you. Christine 
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Jen - I'm so sorry for your loss - and no, you're not weird. I keep Joe's ashes atop my mantle -minus what we placed into the Atlantic AND the Pacific oceans - an arm here, a leg there. I guess I'M weird, too. I'm at a year, and it's been a journey of grieving, and trying to find out who I am. Like you, I find there are lots of questions, but no easy answers. And for you, being caregiver for 2 years, it has to be so difficult finding your way - even after this time. I went through it for 4 months of hell. It's a horrible thing. I don't know that it's about getting over it, or just pushing our way to get through each day, and hoping to find a light, as small as it may seem. Posting here is a light - knowing that others feel as we do helps so much - Take care, Marsha
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Hi Jennifer, I'm sorry for your pain and sadness, but hopefully this site will help you feel a little better. We are all sufferring from the same circumstance, lost the love of our life. We are all in different phases of our grief so it helps to talk with each other. I welcome you and hope you find some happiness here. Sharon
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Hi Jennifer,
I am so very sorry for your loss and all you had to endure. I lost my darling husband very suddenly, without warning, to a massive heart attack. Sudden losses can be extremely trying on the family as well. Though our children are now grown, my son took his father's passing very hard. It makes him feel better to keep the ashes at his house, so I let him. They would be very hard for me to look at each day anyway. I was with my husband since we were 16 and married for almost 37 years. I don't work, so I can sympathize with your long and lonely days. It is nearly 5 months since he passed but in a way, it seems harder now than before. I suppose the shock wears off and the reality sets in. But you will find tons of wonderful people here on DS who will support you and listen to you. We are all here for you! Love & Peace....Mo
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Hi Jennifer
I'm sorry for your loss of your husband too. My deepest sympathies. I'm here to give you as much support and understanding as I can. My hubby Jerry passed from a form of acute leukemia after about six months from symptoms. I too rehash from the 1st time he showed signs of illness to his passing. I empathize with you. Feeling sorry for your daughter and son.
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My husband of forty years died of cancer two years ago. I still have his clothes hanging and his wallet in my drawer. His ashes has a prominant place on top of my entertainment center in my living room. I still have not found the courage to get rid of some of his things and am told I'll know when the time is right. So, what I'm saying is, don't rush yourself. Just take it a day at a time and things will get better. And anytime you want anyone to talk to, I'm here as well as others. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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Just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and that you had to find yourself here, but also to assure you this is a good group of people who understand what you're going through. You will find much love and support here. Welcome to the group! Love and Hugs, Martha
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Hello Jennifer,
I am sorry for your loss, but glad you found this group. They are truly caring and supportive, and non judgemental. My husband Scott lost a 17 month battle to brain tumors April 1. He was only 54. Even knowing what it was and hearing all the dire statistics, it was and is very difficult. You are not wierd for keeping his ashes on your dresser. That is where Scott's are and will be until I feel like I need to move them, if ever. The bottom line is just what you have been doing: what feels right for you. Take care, Susan
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hi im new to this group my husband died a year ago after being diagnosed with lung cancer one month earlier . my son and i looked after him at home , i have never joined a group online before but had got very depressed and stressed about every little thing , i have already found comfort in lokking round daily strength and writing things down .
i to didnt think this would be so hard my sons 17 and did all gcse exams while his dad was ill and then died, none of us chose to be in this situation but its good to know there are people who know what this is like sorry hope this makes sence take care
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