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This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
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This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...

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Taking meds to cope
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I would love to hear from those of you who are taking or have taken meds to cope.
I have been taking meds to cope with the pain and grief. I started taking Xanax about a week and a half after his death. It is an anti anxiety drug and I take it every night. It "zones me out" and I sleep very well. (in the beginning I would say that sleeping is not a problem -- wakefulness is.) About a week and a half ago, I found that I have been waking up feeling really groggy which is not usual for me -- I am and always have been a morning person. So, I have been taking only half the Xanax every night and at some point I hope to cut that down to every other night. Under the care of a psychiatrist I am also taking Pristiq, an anti depressant. Gone now, for the most part, is that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is really wrong. Gone now is the terrible sadness and depression that was so strong it was painful. However, gone now too, is my ability to emote or have any strong emotions connected to any type of sadness. And this actually bothers me. I am unable to really cry. And I do not feel sad, at all. But I KNOW I miss my honey. And I DO want him back. And it bothers me that I no longer cry for him -- and that it is due in large part to the meds. I seem to be doing really well in my life, with work, with my community, dealing with all that I have to deal with. I am actually ok. But I have no idea if it is really ME or it is the meds. Does anyone else have this situation in their life? Posted on 06/30/09, 06:06 am |
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I will say that I don't judge anyone for the decisions they make but I can say that I am actually not doing well and it has been 4 years....I took meds to help me cope through out my Honey's illness. I decided I was doing well enough to stop taking an antidepressant...I have been crying eveyday for about 2 months so I think that tom makes a lot of sense saying that covering up the emothions with meds only postpones but I don't know if I could have done the later. I hope I will fgure out how this is going to get better. I want the power of a healthy emotional mind. I know it will be work and I wish you well. I think we came to a good place to find the answers! Hugs Jane
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I hope I didn't offend you in any way. No one judges here we just give opinions when ask and they are just opinions from our experiences and all of us are different. What works for one may not for another. But we are all the same in wanting nothing but good things for you! Hugs!!!
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Dear GoneForever,
You could never offend me. Nothing anyone says here is offensible. We have all had to deal with terrible traumas -- and we all have our own ways of dealing with them. We each bring to the table our own histories. our family dynamics, our cultural views, our religious views. I think it is wonderful, that with alll our diversity, we are all able to come together and be supportive for each other. We are coming out of our personal shells of pain, seeking and giving comfort. I THANK you for your input. Best, Rachel
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Rachel- I am very sorry for the loss of your husband - I've been reading your posts, and your journal entry. Didn't know quite what to add here, as it is a sensitive subject. My husband died of billiary duct cancer 4 months after diagnosis. Our doctor put both of us on alprazolam. I take a quarter of one pill every morning. My doc had quite the laughing fit when he heard that - "are you sure it's doing anything?" he asked. I also occasionally take a sleeping pill or Tylenol PM if I've had several nights of restless sleep. But although they work, I find myself a bit groggy the next morning. THAT being said, looking back over the past emotionally draining year, I think it was necessary to go through it. I had to take over our business (a deli), and run it. There was simply no choice, financially or otherwise. Very early on, a widow friend told me she compartmentalized her grief - that's what I did. I held everything off until I could get home, every day, and cry, journal, talk to friends, whatever it took. My mother died a month before we opened the deli, 9 years ago, and I know I pushed the grief aside - it has come back to me with vengeance along with Joe's death. Thank you for your posts; obviously, they have a lot of us thinking! Hugs, Marsha (BTW, I was raised Orthodox)
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