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Discussion:
Will my so know and love me
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some of you know my story A highly unstable person who lost everything. I lost my wife 3 months ago and While my wife was alive we lost custody of our son because I was a fruit loop. Watching my wife slowly fade away drove me crazy and her family took my baby boy away from me and my wife before she died. I think that had a lot with my wife giving up. I get to see my son once a month. It is a half hearted attempt for my wifes parents and her half sister to not look like the evil people that they truly are. All of my wifes extended family see what they are doing and have supported me through this trying time and I am blessed for that.

My son doesn't even know me. He crys when I come over, He sees me as a stranger. My son is only a year and a half so it is not a surprise he doesn't know me because we are only together once a month. I had a thought that when he got older he would come to know me and want to spend more time with me. Do you think that is a possibility?

That is the only thing in life keeping me a float so I would like to know what you think.
Posted on 06/23/13, 02:31 pm
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Reply #1 - 06/23/13  3:33pm
" I think you need an attorney. This situation needs more advice than I can give. I hope you get more frequent visits with your son, followed by having him back in your home. "
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Reply #2 - 06/23/13  3:57pm
" Drew there is no doubt in my mind your son could be reunited with your son when he is older. I have a friend that was not allowed any real type of visitation for 14 years with his daughter and she is now living with him. I think it is a basic desire of anyone to have a bond with their biological mother and father as long as the parent can offer unconditional love. I have seen your posts regarding your past as a fruit loop. One other thing I would like to encourage you to do. Let go of the past and work on being the type of person you want to be now. We all have done dumb things the key is to forgive ourselves. It sounds like you are prepared to do the work involved. Hang onto the dream of reuniting with your son. That is a incredibly worthwhile dream. Wishing you peace.
Gerald "
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Reply #3 - 06/23/13  7:55pm
" Right now I think you have to go with the rules they set out. Thinking of things positively the once a month visits are better than none, and I think those visits will be an important bond between you and your child. It will show your child that you care and that you have been there when you were able to be there. You obviously love your son, and that is the most important thing of all, so you will not lose your son. Hold on, I know it will be very hard but things will work out in the end and your son will appreciate you for being there for him throughout the years.

One important, and very important thing I can tell you, is to keep writing a journal that is for your son. Write down how you feel each day. Date each journal entry so your son can reference things back, and he will, he will recall things, This I think is one of the biggest gifts your can give your son, so he can get your side of things, because in these situations all kinds of things can be said that will distort the truth, or things will only be seen from one side, not both sides. It will give your son clarity and I am sure he will appreciate it as he gets older and has questions for you. "
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Reply #4 - 06/23/13  10:41pm
" Drew, I am really sorry that you are going through this. Your son will know you. I agree with getting a lawyer. I hope you are feeling better. :) your son will know you by your actions and character. Hang in there. "
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Reply #5 - 06/24/13  3:10am
" You need to get a lawyer. You need to prove to everyone that you are not crazy. You will need to show a judge that you are a stable father who misses his only son. You will also have to have somekind of income to raise your son. Hugs and possitive thoughts go out to you. "
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Reply #6 - 06/24/13  4:28am
" Drew, do not despair , one visit a month is better than none. I agree with Scouserboots on the idea of a journal. That would be a very positive thing for the future. Your son is very young still and the only thing he needs from you now is your love and he will perceive it. I understand it is hard for you but your son will know you in time.

I can only tell you my own experience. My parents divorced when my brother and I were very young. It was a very acrimonious divorce and my mother was granted sole custody. We saw our father once a month also until we were young teenagers, then we did not see him for a few years. However, to his credit, our father always made efforts to keep in contact and always tried the best he could to tell us he loved us. When I was 18, I decided to rekindle our relationship and even now 43 years later, he still features in my life even though we live thousands of miles apart.

So be there for your son, love him the way I feel you do. In time, he will know.

All the best. "
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Reply #7 - 06/24/13  9:07am
" Along with the journal idea I would encourage you to take some photos of the 2 of you together. They could become very important to have and they will show that you spent time together when he was little. "
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Reply #8 - 06/24/13  11:07am
" Allow yourself to heal, to mend, get help during the process and grow strong again. Forgive yourself and move forward so you can be the father you so wish to be. Take the time to do the work on you and pursue a relationship with your boy that will make you both thrive. Follow your heart to becoming whole and becoming the man you wish to be and your son deserves. I will pray for this for you. There is hope. "
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Reply #9 - 06/24/13  2:59pm
" I think you need to keep going to visit him. Do fun things so he will look forward to seeing you, bring him things. He is just a baby. His attention span is short. When he gets older, he will know this, And when the time is right, will want to know about his mother, only things you can share with him. This too, is a time thing. If you are upset or upset him while visiting, they will try to keep you away from him. Don't let them. You need to give yourself time to heal. Only time will tell.... "

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