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Too much free time
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I am on vacation this week. Not doing too good emotionally. Went to a Griefshare meeting last night. That was okay, but I don't do too good when I have too much free time.

Missing my husband Tom so much. I just got through Thanksgiving and now Thursday the 29th is my birthday, I am turning 54.

Today I had a doctors appointment and the nurse told me she lost her husband in July 2011. I lost Tom July 2012. She mentioned how young we were to lose our husbands. So for two days I am surrounded by people who have lost their spouses.

Also I live in Northern NJ and we had snow today. Whenever it snowed my husband would drive me if I needed him too. Now it's me again so I think that is adding to the pain.

And today I lost something I put away for safekeeping. I found cards that my husband sent me. One was for our anniversary, it said something about how we many more we will have. We won't.

I know everyone says to go with the grief to work through it. Don't get too busy. How do you know the happy medium? That is causing me stress also.

Thanks for reading this......I feel like a mess......Marilyn
Posted on 11/27/12, 06:26 pm
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Reminder: This is a support group for Widows & Widowers. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

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Reply #11 - 11/29/12  10:20pm
" Irene thanks for writing. I do need to find balance. I guess I was afraid of making the grief worst by doing something wrong. Because I couldn't take it being worst!
Sharon I like "alone together". That is so true and I am thankful for everyone one this site. "
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Reply #12 - 11/29/12  10:28pm
" Holland 69, I am a little like both you and your friend but lean to keeping busy. I am not going to worry about it anymore. Thanks for your wods of encouragement.

Thanks everyone. "
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Reply #13 - 11/30/12  4:20am
" Hi Marilyn, Hope today finds you a bit better. Sorry you are having a tough time. I remember having a Rheumatologist's appt. soon after Robert had passed away and one of his nurses was so nice to me and after my treatment and put me in his office but had mentioned what had happened prior to and he also offered his condolences. His other nurse on the way out told me she was also sorry and mentioned to me she had lost a child years ago. It was comforting to know how much they cared but when I heard about her loss of her child it just made me start to cry there in the hallway. (I get teary-eyed now just thinking about it again).

I do hope you had some semblance of a Happy Birthday, and many more. Being a widow and it took me a while to realize that was what I am now is tough the first year, then it becomes different as years goes on. I agree with nowjustme, stay as busy as you can and feel you need to. Being on vacation you do feel like now what. Go out with friends, physical support groups help, chatting on the phone, or working on projects at home. You will find your niche. It has been three years for me and it does get better, once you get through all the firsts. Take baby steps. many blessings to you. "
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Reply #14 - 11/30/12  2:53pm
" Thanks Christine, I have kept busy with no guilt now. I was thinking I was doing something wrong. I feel a little better. My emotion go up and down any given moment. "
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Reply #15 - 11/30/12  9:54pm
" Thank you so much for your mention of Griefshare. I had never heard of them. I have been looking and looking (and looking!) for a local support group but to no avail. I just checked and there are a few very close to me. As always, I come away from this board with something extremely helpful every time I visit. "
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Reply #16 - 11/30/12  11:16pm
" MissingDG, I am glad you found a support group near home. Let me know how it goes. Marilyn "

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