Widows & Widowers Support Group

Venting is good, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Vent away! I find that my most difficult days are when I am physically tired. Let yourself cry, possibly try to get a nap in.

This may sound strange but I was told once "when you think of them, they are with you" Seems to me that when I have been at my most vulnerable, I think of my husband the most - for me, those words I was told meant to me that he is still with me in my time of need

I hope you find are able to get some rest and find some comfort today

Stephanie,

I wish you had my phone number. I, too, was awake most of the night/this morning. Didn't go to bed until daylight.

Deneen hit it on the head with her remark "when you think of them, they are with you." That's the one weapon I have found that works for me. I just don't THINK of Darrell...I TALK to him and beg him for comfort and aid in getting through the rough times.

Yesterday was the 6-month mark since Darrell's death and I had been dreading it for weeks. (I'm one of those thinking-ahead type people - never worked before, so don't know why I thought it should this time, either.) Surprisingly, I did think of it when I awoke yesterday morning, but I was distracted from the pain by the anticipation of being hooked up to high-speed internet, I guess. Whatever, the whole day went well - not a single tear!

I'm glad you came here to "vent." Hopefully, you will be getting some much-needed sleep today which might help put you on the upswing. Deneen's right: we all need our rest. I get unbelievably grumpy (actually, I'm a downright b--ch!) when I'm
sleep-deprived. (Today, god help anyone who comes to my door! :) )

Hugs,

Terry

Keep on venting sweet friend!!!!!! vent vent vent and then? VENT SOME MORE until it gets out. We ALL need to get it out. Kick the garbage can, punch a pillow, be sad when you need to....all of it is oart of this more than crazy road we are all on......ALL of us no matter the time frame, we ALL need a good old fashioned TANTRUM sometimes! Boy was I GOOD at them!

all of what you do to get it out, no matter what way you shoose to? Is part of becoming the YOU you need to be....and continuing school, and being all YOU can be now...

Hugs of understanding and much love sent your way... Diane

Thankyou all, I got a small nap in. I do talk to him everyday. Reading all the books ob the afterlife, all I can do is know he's with me still. Thankyou again

Although you were happy for your baby to go with your mom to California, it also means you will be missing her each day she is gone, doubling your loneliness. Feeling alone can really sabotage a day. I hope while your baby is gone, you will indulge in a few adult activities that you may not have time for when your baby is home with you. Like going to an adult movie, get with a girlfriend for lunch, go to a library and check out books of your own interest. Empty time can be devastating - our minds can go wild, dragging us into some depressing thoughts. I'm wishing you good luck while your baby is gone. I pray that you will have time for yourself. Allow yourself to express your emotions openly at home, something you probably hold back on when your baby is with you. My best wishes going out to you!
Kathleen

I have my 9 yr old here with me, so I'm not alone. It's nice though cause I get to spend one on one with him. I do miss my little boy though. I have 2 boys. I'm planning on taking my 9 yr old to a movie tomorrow :)

I hope that your day turned out with some peace in your heart. Take some time for yourself, do something just for you - it truly is a good pick me up. Take care.. G-

It seemed that every time something new happened the first year, (whether it was something positive or negative...it brought on tears). I say that I cried oceans that first year and beyond...and I really really did! I would not want to go back to that time in my life ever again. The bad stuff I was so sad to go through it alone. The happy stuff only made me sad afterwards because I couldnt' share it with Denny, or I would feel guilty that I felt happy for the short length of time that I did.
Anyway...there are no elevators to heaven...it's a steep steep climb....and we are the ones climbing that mountain each and every day.....
Glad you have something fun planned with your other son. I'm sure he will absolutely love that one on one time with Mom.
big hugs to you...
-Diana

Steph,
It's o.k. to vent. I find it helps me especially during the roughest of times. I have had many a sleepless night thinking about my husband and wanting to feel his arms around me.

Hugs,
Wendy