What is Widows Widowers
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life aft...
Join Now
|
Moving
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I was born and raised in California. In 8-06 my husband and I moved with our two sons to Oklahoma. In August of this year I agreed for my teenage son to return to California and stay with my sister for a semister of school to see how he liked it. My husband was hospitalized in August and passed away in September. So, here I am 1300 miles away from my son, my daughter and my whole family. I have my 6 year old son with me and we are staying with my mother-in-law. My husband's family lives out here. For whatever reason I am still here. My family thought that I would be returning to Calfornia after my husbands death. I don't know what to do. They really don't call and check on me, it is like they don't care. So in my mind why would I move back there. I miss my son and think he needs me during this time. It has only been 38 days since my husband passed away, I don't really know what I am doing. Does anyone have any advise
Posted on 11/04/09, 01:11 pm |
| 3 Replies | Add Your Advice |
| View More Posts Ignore |
It sounds way too early for you to be making this type of decision. The "experts" say not to make any major changes - like moving - during the first year because you need time to figure out what will work best for you. Do you own your own home? How close emotionally are you to your mother-in-law and the rest of his family? How old is your teen-aged son, and would it be the end of the world for him to finish school in Oklahoma? You have to plan for what works best for you. Sorry I am not being very helpful here, but I would think that you would not want to rush into anything - take your time deciding. laurabp 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
When my husband died, I wanted to just move away. Everyone told me to wait. I think that was best because I really was not thinking rationally. So now, my mind is clear and I can reach better decisions. I agree with laurabp, please take your time making your decision.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Maybe if you could afford to, you could take a trip to CA and see your son, daughter and family. Once you see how they are doing and you stepped away from Oklahoma, you might get a fresh perspective. However, any perspective will be clouded by the grief you are experiencing. Rational is definitely not the norm for us now. Maybe your family cares, they just do not know how to show it. They might not know what to say, or they might know that no matter what they say it won't help the situation. I hope this helps some.
|
|
|
|
||
| Add Your Advice |
