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My husband is leaving in November for Afghanistan and my family wants to give him a going away cookout. He was not excited at all which is understandable but he doesn't even act like he appreciates it. I said something about it to him and he said he hates all the hype that people do for him and the soldiers. Should I tell my family to go ahead with the cookout or tell them no cookout.
Posted on 08/17/09, 09:08 am |
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Instead of a big picnic with lots of people...why not a quiet dinner at home with your husband and your parents. Nothing fancy and no mentioning his departing in November. He is facing a very difficult time in his life, what with a new wife and orders to Afghanistan. He does not need a big send off. Heck if it is National Guard, the town will do that. So try keeping whatever you do low keyed and immediate family only and not fuss and bother. 
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If he is not wanting the cookout then I would respect his wishes. This will be a stressful enough time for everyone and why make him unhappy. Have a small dinner with family or just the two of you prior to his departure. I am sure he will want to just spend his time with you in the days before he leaves.
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I'm sure he appreciates it more than he'll say. I've always felt the same way but if he knows the cookout is because he will be missed and not just because he is a soldier. I say go for it, and just be mindful of the things that bother him about it. Me for instance; I'd have a much harder time appreciating it if there were so many people there was constantly someone behind me. If its something he'll be forced to feel, it will help him overseas being able to think back to it.
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We discussed it further the other night and he said he was fine with it. I think the first time we talked about it he was in a down mood about leaving. Its just gonna be like maybe 15 to 20 people from my family that want to honor him not only as a soldier but as a family member that they love and are truly gonna miss him. I think he will love to look back on a fun time with our family and I'm working on a scrapbook for him to take with him or send with a care package so he can look at that. Thanks all for your advice its gonna be a wonderful day for our whole family and I'm sure he will appreciate it very dearly now!!!
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