War in Iraq Support Group

If he won't tell you, the only thing you can do is not to push.

My friend Zach was the same way and sometimes they aren't allowed to tell anyone, which makes it even harder. If he is allowed to say something just give it time and he may come along and say something, if not- it's better just to leave it be...

My suggestion is just to be there for him and be what he needs you to be and leave it at that. God bless him, and your friend and you.

by letting him know that things at home are ok, by telling him to make sure he takes care of himself, by just being his friend. and do not push him to share information, he will do so when he is ready.

I feel for you girl!!! It is awsome to find someone that you know you love before you meet!! Its a rare thing,, treasure it.. As far as his tramatic experience... just be there for him... if he ever wants to talk, but men are so different about dealing with loss and messed up thoughts... support him, make sure he knows he has something good to come home to!! I really is all you can do for him, I have a husband recently retired after 25 years in Army and a 20 year old son who is a helicopter medic.. believe me i understand men... i have four boys (ages 24,20,17,,14) and been married to a military man for 25 years... if you need to talk my email is kimmyeast@yahoo.com .. Hope i helped! Kimmy,

omg girl.... the same thing happened to me, me and this guy were introduced by his best friends girlfriend, so we started talking while he was overseas.... and we felt like we were really meant to be... it was wierd bc he had never met face to face.... and we started dating.... then he came home on leave and we finally met face to face.... and we fell head over heels for each other.... its so funny that someone else is experiencing the same thing.... then when this guy went back overseas i was there for him, regaurdless when they are deployed they can't tell you everything that goes on over there its agains their code of command, but anytime he emailed or called or anything... i listened and let him know that i was there to support him thats my advice to you..... just be there for him let him know your not going anywhere... and that you are part of his support system.... so anyhow when this guy came back from overseas we got an apartment together... one month later he proposed.... we are now happily married! we just celebrated our one year anniversary in september.... needless to say we are getting ready for his second deployment which will be a struggle again but our love conquered the distance before and we can do it again you just gotta have the strength courage and faith. Just let your guy know you are there for him through thick and thin.

It is so amazing how people have walked in your shoes, I am so crazy about this man, he is so amazing, and so awesome, and it is like God picked him just for me and he got deployed about 2 weeks to Iraq again....I am like a couple of you, I actually haven't met him face to face, but I feel like I know him, inside and out, because all of his free time is spent with me...He is only suppose to have a short tour about 2-3 months, and I am planning on meeting his plane when he comes back to the states, and I am so super excited, but I find myself pacing the floor, and worrying about about him. He is a officer in the army, so I am sure he is safe, but doesn't stop me from worrying! I try and stay busy but this is all new to me, so I thought I would join this group to try and find some words of encourgament:-)

Hi, I'm happy for you. These men and women need all the support they can get. Find out as much as you can about being in the situation they are at. Also any PTSD information. As a counselor for Vets (before layoff) I would advise the women to learn as much as they can about PTSD and anything that will help YOU understand what they have gone through.

90% is listening, not fixing, but making it safe for them. I have heard horror stories of what they go through straight from the Veteran and they are usually ashamed for what they have done. It takes unconditional love to hear the stories and place no judgement on them.

join the Military Families support group, there are alot of people on their who have delt with very similar things!
My fiance is shipping out in a month to Iraq.
hope you are doing ok,
Hay

My husband and son are both in the military.. one was in military intelligence, and the other a helicopter medic. I wonder has this guy had to kill anyone? Mabye seen someone being killed? That can trigger post traumatic stress disorder.. or mabye he is just depressed from being there , in War, away from loved ones.. just try to be upbeat when you write or chat.. don't enable his condition, it won't help him cope.. trust me.. I pray that he will be safe and hopefully come around psychologically... you also need to take it day by day,,, or his tour will feel like forever!!! If you need to talk let me know!! Kimmy.

Reading a few of your stories..I realized I am right at home. I met an amazing man online. And just as somebody else has said..it is as if GOD picked him out specifically for me. It's also as if GOD directed he and I into each others lives. He is everything I ever dreamed of having in my life. And he feels the same for me. We plan on meeting the second he can come home. He is an officer in the army & has been in for 12yrs. He has been deployed now for 11 months. He is not sure when he will be coming back. I am very new to this whole military lifestyle. How do you deal with not knowing when someone will be home?? To me this is absolutely terrifying!. I want to be supportive but I don't know how?