Video Game Addiction Support Group

When my husband got home last night of course it was the usual... he came home said "hey baby" on his way up the stairs and changed out of his work clothes and then came back down, sat down in front of the tv in his recliner and immediately signed on Xbox live. I let out a sigh and he asked "what is it baby?". I told him that we are getting right back to how it was before, he comes home and immediately turns the game on. For a while there he would at least spend two hours with me before he turned it on, no its not perfect but it was progress. He put his head in his hands. I continued on to tell him that I feel second to the game. I told him that I know hes at work all day thinking about the game, what hes gonna do on it and how much fun he is going to have and then asked him when was the last time he thought "Man, I cant wait to get home to my baby and show her how much I love her." He then replied with "its apples and oranges sweetie". I said how so? Then he goes on to explain that, He is always happy to come home to me and theres nobody he would rather go home to and that he loves me and its just a a matter of what is going to entertain him. He also says that tv and movies don't interest him like they used to because its the same old stories with new characters. He says that its just a matter of whats on the t screen anyway. I had to stop him there. I said no baby its more than that (this is where the water works came in), When you come home you RUSH to the game, you might say "hi baby" and acknowledge my presence but when was the last time you walked in the door and just planted a kiss on me? Showed me some affection like you had been waiting all day just to get a smooch? He said "your right, I' m sorry baby" and I said theres also the matter of, if we are sitting down watching tv or a movie its no big deal to get up and go get something from the drive thru, or to go up stairs and show each other our love (I worded it a bit more graphic to him), but when you are on the game and I walk over to you and try to love on you, kiss you, hug you... you look around me to the tv screen and if I ask you to go somewhere its a big deal, and if I wanna go upstairs and make love its always "wait till we go to bed". Well Ive done that sweetie and when I wait till we go to bed your too tired because its 1 or 2 am and you have to get up and go to work the next day. Again he replied with "Your right baby I'm sorry" but then he added this "I will try to make a better effort to prioritize things better" and then he corrected himself and said, "Prioritize things the right way". Then he explained that the game is a stress relief, that if he is watching tv or a movie and it does not grab his full attention he sits there and he starts thinking about things... about our bills, about how his boss left work today at 11am and never came back , and how he got screwed out of lunch because of it... AGAIN. He said, "so what would you rather me do? What do you want me to do?" I said, "I don't know sweetie, I don't have a solution all I know is that I am not happy like this (still crying from before). Again his head went in his hands. He said "well then we have to do something, because I don't want you to be unhappy". I made sure to tell him that I am not being a bitch and I am not trying to take away one of his favorite things completely. I told him that I just want to spend time with him and feel like its an easy choice to want to spend time with me over the game. He said he would work on it. It kinda hurt me a little, the fact that he has to work on picking me over the game, but progress is progress. I tried to make him understand that I don't mind him playing, and sometimes I actually enjoy playing with him, but I also pointed out to him that he comes home and turns his game on as soon as he gets home every day and plays all night up to at least 6 hours a day until we go to bed and then gets up the next day and does the same thing all over again. Then plays all weekend long unless we have to go to the grocery store or his mother's house. He stopped and just thought for a minute. He said "Wow, that's pathetic, and I am going to work on it sweetie." I also tried to make him understand that he is MY stress relief. For those of you who have not read my journal about my story, I am my mother's care giver. She is a terminal heart patient. She has a specific kind of heart disease called Cardio Mythopoly. She was diagnosed almost 6 years ago and was given 2 years to live. Her mind is going because blood does not get pumped to her head the way it should, and I wake up every morning wondering if she is still here with me today. It is a lot of stress to deal with... and between that and losing my husband to video games, I need serious happy pills. I told him that. Like I said I also told him that he is MY stress relief and Im not getting my fix. He then purposed at least as a stepping stone to try Wednesday as a no game night. He said he would do more than that If I need him to. For now I will let him take baby steps and see how it goes, if he does alright maybe in a week or 2 go up to 2 days a week no video games and so on and so on until its 1 or 2 days a week he does play all night and I get all day at least one whole day out of the weekend with him to do whatever. I am up to try anything, if he thinks this is the easiest way for him to correct his behavior I am all for it. I will update everyone tomorrow and let you all know how tonight went.
Who knows... Maybe Wednesday really will be "hump night". Lol...
Posted on 09/09/09, 10:09 am