Video Game Addiction Support Group

PLEASE READ IF YOUR IN A MESS BECAUSE OF WOW

Hi Everyone,

I am sad to hear about the difficulties that are happening to your families because of a silly computer game. I am a WoW player of about 3 years. During that time, I went through periods where it dominated my life. I would spend countless hours playing it and would not do things socially because I wanted to play the game. As you know, there is no end to WoW - it keeps going. I am happy to say, now, that I have mastered my addiction to that game and have learned to control my play time. I now play only if nothing else is going on (it's my TV replacement now) but it no longer hinders my life. So rest assured, there is hope for your spouse and your marriage!

I wanted to provide you with some insight on the game that might help you.

1. Most likely, you spouse is probably in a "guild" (a fraternity-like group of other players who play together). Their guild will have a name and everything. Hard core raiding guilds often impose very strict raiding schedules, meaning that you are required to be on several nights each week. Failure to comply could result in a demotion from "raider" to "casual raider" or removed from the ability to raid altogether. My first advice to you is to ask your spouse if he/she is in a hardcore raiding guild. If he/she is, you might be able to reach some grounds for compromise if they would be willing to move to a casual raiding guild (guilds that don't have strict schedules and allow you to come and go as you please - i.e., guilds whose members are not as addicted :) As of now, there is not a whole lot going on in the game. There is a newer raid called "Trial of the Crusader" (TOC). Most likely, your spouse is spending all of this time to get the best gear in the game - this is done through "downing" (killing) raid bosses. Each time a boss dies, gear drops. However, after your spouse has all of the top notch gear, the game can become stale. Right now, in my opinion, is one of those points in time.

Knowing my struggles with WoW addiction, I don't think anything anyone would have said would have stopped me from playing "cold turkey". Ultimatums requiring me to stop playing WoW altogeher would not have worked with me. However, I think I would have been willing to compromise and take steps to help curb my play time which will ultimately accomplish your goal. When we step away from WoW for a while, we begin to see that it is not as great as it seems to be while we are playing it. Here are some action steps I would recommend - just from my personal experience as a gamer.

1. Don't leave yet. Don't ask him to quit cold turkey and give up the game. Instead find out more about why he likes the game so much. Ask:

a) How many level 80s do you have?
b) Are you in a hardcore raiding guild? What is their raid schedule? What are the consequences imposed by the guild if you do not show up for a raid?
c) For the sake of your marriage, would he be willing to modify some of his current in game activities
- switching guilds to a casual raiding guild
-not leveling up any new characters from 1-80
-picking AT LEAST 1 night per week where he doesn't log on at all and has family time instead
-stop all PvP arena teams
d) plan a trip together somewhere - somewhere without any computer or wireless access

If you begin with these modifications, it should begin to help. From my experience, the more I finally moved away from the game the more I saw how much of life I was missing out on.

Also, be sure to keep up with the game yourself. Go to www.worldofwarcraft.com and find out when the new expansion is coming out. If you are able to make progress, this progress is likely to end when the new expansion comes out. The one under development now is called "Cataclysm". It will have all kinds of new game content, new characters that can be made, new raids, new places to go, and so on. I don't know the intended release date - but you need to find that out! You will need to sit down with your spouse ahead of time and come up with a plan of action when it does come out or you could find yourself coming around full circle.

Again, these are my experiences and my advice based on them. There is hope though. It is an intense addiction like any other. I am happy to offer more insight or suggestion if you need them.

Good luck!!!!

Same problem, different game. He picked the game over his family and we are now going through a very messy divorce. I wish this addiction was understood by more people. Especially attorneys and therapists.

It's horrible to be going through this. We've been together 26 years.

Well from being a gamer myself, I don't understand world of war craft. Myself as a teen I use to be addicted to tony hawk games and need for speed games. Myself I know how to take time off my games and spend time with people even though right now my playstation 3 is my only use of time because of my sleep and being awake schedule. But myself I'm a game beast not a game addict. Meaning:
I can take any console and figure its controls out easily might not be good at the game but I can figure the controls out. That has nothing to do with being an addict. Guess I went from an addict to a game beast...lol.....anyway the only thing I know to tell you to do is to take his WOW game and burn it and keep money from him you know take control of the finances and make sure he can't buy another copy.

Lexie

sorry I cant be of further assistance

@msvive: you hung in there 4 a while! I've only been married 3 yrs & my husband wants a divorce b/c we always have our biggest fights over the game.
he hurts me over it & that's not good for me or my kids.
he just left again a week a go today & I think he should stay gone this time.
this thing really hurts to be beat by a danyg machine!!!
tht the person doen'st love you enuff to put you b4 everyting else!

I thnk ppl don't pay this seriously b/c they've never experienced it ...not to mention it's a billion dollar industry..who wants to rock that boat???!

so so soooo sad! :(

I just googled WOW... looks like a pretty fun game... is it something you could all do together as multi players making it a family activity :)