Video Game Addiction Support Group

I know how you feel, my bf was hooked on counterstrike until I gave him the ultimatum of the game or me. I was prepared to put our relationship on the line, I was so miserable & figured I had nothing to lose.
I'm not saying that it's the best way to fix things but it worked for me. My bf was sitting at an internet cafe for hours on end, racing down there after work while I sat at home waiting, hoping that one day he'd rush home to see me. I felt like I came 2nd best & no matter how I approached the subject he just didn't get it.

Sometimes he brings it up & says he wishes we'd been able to compromise but I tried that & it didn't work. With that game it was all or nothing.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way & I hope things get better soon & one day your husband wakes up & gets bored with WoW :)

Unfortunately, Jennifer, there is nothing that you can do that I am aware of that will "make him see that he is on there to much". You can try giving him an ultimatum like Meridon was able to do successfully, but please only do that if you are serious about it and be prepared for him to actually possibly choose the game over you! Otherwise, one general thing that you can do is not enable him (e.g., don't bring him food to the computer, don't pick up after him, don't do his house duties for him, etc.). Also, try to get him into counseling (either by himself or with you) and/or visit sites that help with gaming addiction like this one.

I wish you good luck in having your husband reduce or stop his game playing.

DixieJenn, you sound a lot like my wife about a month ago. I gave up WoW shortly before the expansion for the same reasons your husband needs to.

Prior to WoW, has he had a history of playing video games too much? If so, he needs to give up games completely, if not forever, at least 3 months to "detox". Unfortunately, you will not convince him of this in your first conversation.

I'm almost 30 days sober myself. I wasn't doing any housework or any of my honey-do projects around the house. I would neglect the lawn to the point that is was well overgrown so that I could get more WoW-time. I was losing interest in my wife in favor of WoW.. Enough about me...

A lot of the feelings you feel and the behavior he's displaying are very similar to him having an affair. He's chosing game-time over you, this is not right, and you should say so.

The other replies are right that he might actually prefer to play over spend time with you. Try not to let that fact / possibility hurt you too much. He has a warped concept of the value of his time. He thinks it's important and worthwhile to "invest" hours upon hours into a game! On top of that, he's not spent any quality time with you lately, so it may be easy for him to forget how valuable you are and therefore actually prefer the game over you when first faced with that choice.

Your best option is to talk to him about his actions. It will almost certainly take more than one conversation, and I'm sure you know better than to try to talk to him while he's playing. You might even have to "schedule" some time. That way he knows about it in advance and he won't be as mad at you for cutting into his game-time. Be sure and tell him how it feels each day when he runs to the game at the end of the day rather than to you. Let him know how awkward it is when he's in the house, but "busy" having fun apart from you for several hours at a time every day. Preface your comments with your understanding that there are "real people" on the other end of the game who are depending on him, but there is also a "real person" whom he loves right here in front of him who's being neglected. Let him know that it hurts that he chooses strangers / distant friends over his own wife on a DAILY basis. You could yell at him and threaten him, but you should try to catch your bee with honey first. Be vulnerable... talk about YOUR hurt, YOUR feelings, YOUR concerns about chores, responsibilities, and the relationship. Give him time to absorb and respond. Realize that any excuses he makes could be half-baked or forgotten by the time he wakes up in the morning (hence the need for more than one conversation). Do NOT with accuse him or use language such as "You don't love me anymore." or "I don't like who are anymore because of that game." He will interpret any such comments in the worst possible way. Only resort to "setting him straight" when he starts turning your vulnerable statements against you.

If you really want him to see that he's playing the game too much, try keeping a log of his game time. You can also ask him to check his play time before he logs off everyday. The command to check is "/played". It will show the total amount of time he's spent logged on as that one character since its creation and the total time he's spent on that character since that log-in session.

The biggest step is getting him to acknowledge he has a problem. An even bigger step is getting him to recognize that he can't play moderately (MAYBE after a 3 month detox).

I wish you luck and keep posting about his progress (or lack thereof).

JUSTNICK: I've tried all that: being vulnerable, letting him know I'm being neglected, sexually, emotionally...I mean, he'll play all day, stay up late & then won't have enough energy to give me affection & go right to sleep just so he can get up & do it all again the next day!

It's so pathetic & I'm embarrassed that I even married this man. He has showed me who he really is and I don't like this guy. The guy I married wanted to grow...this one is just a 15 year old child trappe in a 29 yr old male body.

I'm so glad to hear that you are making attempts to break free from the ugly bondage of this game thing...it does give me some hope, but my husband has to make a similar decision that you had to make....as long as he doesn' see it as a problem, he'll never see a reason to change.

I'm staying prayerful for my husband.
Be strong & don't waver....you can be an inspiration & help to so many!

JUSTNICK: I've tried all that: being vulnerable, letting him know I'm being neglected, sexually, emotionally...I mean, he'll play all day, stay up late & then won't have enough energy to give me affection & go right to sleep just so he can get up & do it all again the next day!

It's so pathetic & I'm embarrassed that I even married this man. He has showed me who he really is and I don't like this guy. The guy I married wanted to grow...this one is just a 15 year old child trappe in a 29 yr old male body.

I'm so glad to hear that you are making attempts to break free from the ugly bondage of this game thing...it does give me some hope, but my husband has to make a similar decision that you had to make....as long as he doesn' see it as a problem, he'll never see a reason to change.

I'm staying prayerful for my husband.
Be strong & don't waver....you can be an inspiration & help to so many!

JUSTNICK: I've tried all that: being vulnerable, letting him know I'm being neglected, sexually, emotionally...I mean, he'll play all day, stay up late & then won't have enough energy to give me affection & go right to sleep just so he can get up & do it all again the next day!

It's so pathetic & I'm embarrassed that I even married this man. He has showed me who he really is and I don't like this guy. The guy I married wanted to grow...this one is just a 15 year old child trappe in a 29 yr old male body.

I'm so glad to hear that you are making attempts to break free from the ugly bondage of this game thing...it does give me some hope, but my husband has to make a similar decision that you had to make....as long as he doesn' see it as a problem, he'll never see a reason to change.

I'm staying prayerful for my husband.
Be strong & don't waver....you can be an inspiration & help to so many!

I have no words of advice Im afraid as my partner is addicted. He ordered the expansion pack and took two weeks off work to play it. However, on the day it was due out, his didnt arrive so he went out and bought another copy so he didnt have to wait. I have to pretty much beg him to mind our son if I have to go out to work in the evenings and he has to reschedule his daily raids. I know if I said that was it, he'd choose WoW. I dont know what you can do, but Im happy to listen, as a fellow sufferer, if you need to talk any time

i under stand my husband is addicted also .

I am in the same boat as well... JustNick... your post is the one I saw when I searched google for "my husband is a game addict". Very good advice, but I have tried being vulnerable and had multiple talks with him, it gets better for a week if that and goes right back to how it was. I posted a Journal entry viewable to everyone telling my story. Tell me what you think please.

same here. up all night one night and then can't stay up the next. my husband lost his job for a few months over the stupid thing. ((hugs))