Video Game Addiction Support Group

Unfortunately, there is no way that I know of that will always work to get anybody to realize the damage that any negative behaviour, such as excessive playing of video games, is doing. Nonetheless, I have some general suggestions. First, some people (myself included) play excessively to escape from real life. That seems to be the case with her when you say that "it seems like her real life has become pathetic and she hides in the game to escape her own reality". As such, be careful with how you phrase things to help avoid her wanting to escape any more. You should tell her how much you love her. Also, talk about how you feel when certain things happen rather than blame her directly for anything. For example, say how hurt you feel when she neglects you rather than that she is being inattentive to you and not a good finance.

Another thing is to try to avoid enabling her, especially if you are living together. Although you may have to take care of mutual responsibilities (e.g., pay the utility bills), don't do things just for her like preparing her food, doing her laundry, etc.

If you don't have a wedding date picked yet, I suggest that you don't even consider setting one until she has stopped playing, or at least seriously cut back, for a minimum of 6 months. If you already have a wedding date planned, you may wish to cancel it, or at least push it back.

I wish you good luck with her waking up to what she is doing to herself and to you.

I wish that I had some great advice that would work. The thing with addicts of any sort of vice is that unless they can address that it's become a problem, making them see it is next to impossible, if not impossible. I have been dealing with being in a relationship with a gaming addict for years now, it is tearing me up inside and tearing us apart. Gaming is all he does and there is no time for anything else. My life has been miserable because all I've done is wait around in hopes of him coming to his senses, and it's been in vain. I've started to go out with my friends instead, not saying that that is the solution. For me it was the only way to gain back some sanity, and a life. I feel for you, and everyone else, going through this because I am suffering through it as well. No one deserves this. I have tried everything, and he does not want to hear about it. There is no hope for my relationship, but I hope that you can find a way to get through to your fiance. Good luck.

I do believe the ability to 'escape reality' is why my BF plays. He wants to not have to worry about finding a job, and he's content dealing with emotionally abusive parents, so long as he can sit on his backside and game for several consecutive hours.

I gotta agree with Solo3 too...if the person doesn't feel their behavior is problematic, they will probably not understand they have an addiction and will get defensive. And also like Solo, my friends are the ones who truly keep me sane while my BF is too busy screwing around with his guild mates.

Is there any way you could remove your internet service for a while?

Some good advice from JoDOe (Reply 1) – especially regarding enabling and informing her how the excessive gaming makes you feel. Guys are sometimes reluctant to do this, but it does have a much greater impact than criticizing (which may just send her back into the game). A few other possibilities:

- If she is willing, a self-test for video game addiction is available at:
www.netaddiction.com/resources/onl...

- The partners of potential addicts test is available at:
www.netaddiction.com/cyberwidows/c...

- Signs of video game addiction:
http://techaddiction.ca/signs_of_v...


- It is often easier to give something up or cut back (e.g., video games, smoking, etc.) if you are working together with another person. If she is being asked to cut back on her gaming time, it may be helpful to also set a goal for yourself so that you are both working on improving the relationship. Your goal / change could be just about anything that you both agree on, but it sends a clear message that you are in this together and are committed to making the necessary changes on both sides. This would be great gesture on your part and may help to show her just how serious this issue is.

Best wishes.

www.techaddiction.ca