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Discussion:
Did your sex life decrease dramatically?
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I recently got a vasectomy and am ready to get back in the game. My wife however isn't nearly as enthused. We have only made love twice in the past two months, and the last time wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been our anniversary.

Making the decision to get a vasectomy was one of the hardest things that we have been through as a couple. I am really done having children. I have a full brood and am very happy with my life as it is.

We have talked about the situation, and she says that it just isn't as exciting anymore knowing that there is no way of conceiving a child. She has never been a very sexual person, although she doesn't believe that sex is purely for procreation. I guess we didn't have a very exciting love life to begin with.

Any ideas to help me spice things up? I'm kind of dying here, lol.
Posted on 01/23/09, 06:38 pm
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Reply #1 - 02/09/09  1:45pm
" My wife is the same. She gets a lot more out of sex and enjoys it more when she knows that there is the possibility of her getting pregnant. Although I have not had a vasectomy yet,. So for now she is on birth control pills. When she is on birth control she doesn't enjoy sex as much. It's just something in her that knows she can't get pregnant from us having sex and it makes it so that it isn't as gratifying for her. This is the actually the reason I haven't gotten a vasectomy yet. Because I think that right now she feels that she can go off birth control and we could have another baby. But if I were to get a vasectomy and make it so that we can NEVER have another one. I'm thinking that would totally destroy our sex life. So. I may not end up getting one at all. Your wife is not alone. I think secretly women get off on the possibility of having another baby. Im not sure there is a solution for either of us. "
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Reply #2 - 03/26/09  8:48am
" I think most marriages go through this from time to time. After my vasectomy my wife was also 6 months pregnant so sex for me was out of the question. But I can tell you that I have been through periods like you describe and she is just not in the mood,then time will pass and she does get in the mood and everything is okay.

As far as spicing things up,you can do alot of things like take her out to a romantic dinner or if you can cook try cooking her a nice dinner with candles and wine,just do things different every once in a while that will show her that you still care about her. "
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Reply #3 - 04/29/09  6:36pm
" female point here..or love making has stayed the same..I still desire him as much as ever , but as I get older it would be nice to slow down a bit. "
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Reply #4 - 07/15/10  8:35pm
" Well, I got a vasectomy approximately 2.5 years ago... and my spouse and I have had sex maybe 6 times since then. This year we have only had sex once... sex ONCE since January 1st.

With the deadly combination of her anxiety and my depression it is even worse.

... and we have four kids.

I wish I could offer some advice but I have no clue. if you find anything out, share the wealth ok? "
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Reply #5 - 09/21/10  12:54am
" If you can't have scarey sex there's always sneaky sex, Places situations fantasies, open discussion may lead to some titalation overlooked, role playing can be fun, after the spontenaiety slips imagination can improve things. Mentally go back to where the best sex happened, throughly examine the circumstance , what was the magic, don't overlook olfactory, smell is the most sensous of senses, create a little, be patient cuddling is great sex, good luck, I'm still in love with my high school sweetheart 50 years later. "
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Reply #6 - 09/21/10  12:57am
" Oh yeah, vasectomy, a non issue, pregnancy if that excites, go for it , try with all your might to get pregnant, what can it hurt. "
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Reply #7 - 10/20/10  1:13pm
" I am a woman whose husband has had a vasectomy as well, and I have to say for me, it is more exciting that we CAN'T get pregnant again. He has had a vasectomy and I am no longer on the pill, so for me, and us really, it has been very freeing. Its the first time in our relationship (we have 2 children) that I either haven't been pregnant or on birth control. "
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Reply #8 - 10/24/10  2:44am
" no,sine the vast things have being the same,just about every day.
with having the thought of not getting pregnant is great.
the day after his vast we got back into the game,it hurt for a minute but as time has being,2 weeks on monday since operation he's not really sore. he has moments but nothing like the first day.
spicing things up and doing the little things romance her and make her feel speacial. "
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Reply #9 - 08/30/11  1:59pm
" We both felt that our family was complete. She felt that the vasectomy was the less evasive of the two operation and promised more intimacy because the fear of pregnancy would be gone.

So I got the operation. My climax intensity went to zero and over 6 months only got up to 20% of what it was before. The increased intimacy didn't happen. We were at once a month, then once a quarter or worse. I don't know if it was the "sex is better if you could get pregnant" thindescrieded so many times above, but I guess I wasn't a whole man for her any more and she had an affair.

For me, it was one of the wodecisionsions I made. I'm glad to see for some women abovea, it drew them closer to their husband. I wish mine did. "
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Reply #10 - 09/06/11  2:06pm
" Worst decision of my life. I now have little to no sex drive. Not much help for spicing things up since I could care less now. Wish you the best of luck though. Before the vas I couldn't get my wife to respond to anything. Funny how the tables have turned. "

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