What is Vasectomy
In a vasectomy, the vasa deferentia, the tubes which connect the testicles to the prostate, are cut and closed. This prevents sperm produced in the testicles to enter the ejaculate...
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I am so indecisive about my decision on whether or not to have a vasectomy. A few months ago I was certain that this is what I truly wanted, even after researching it and all. The only thing holding me back is my wife’s view on it, which is of course a very important factor in my decision.
I know that she deeply desires one more baby, but this is something that I really don’t think I could handle at this point in my life. Not that I wouldn’t adore another child, but I just want to be able to get on with my life. All of our plans for the future have been halted to have children. It started in 1998 when I put off getting my teaching degree so that I could have a steady job in order to raise a family. Then in 1999 we had our son, and we had another son, who I think will be our last, earlier this year. Not that I don’t love my kids, I love them more than anything, but I do love them enough to realize that I don’t think that I can give as much attention and spend as much time as I do with them if we had another baby. I think that I may just put off getting a vasectomy so that my wife knows that the option is still there, but would that be right since I know that I do not want another child? If I do go through with the procedure I want it to be for good, so I don’t want her to think that there is always the option of getting it reversed, because from what I have read that is not a good idea to go into it with. I really don’t want to go through with this if it upsets her, which she denies it does, but I can just see that she is bothered by the concept of not even having the option to have any more children. Posted on 06/27/07, 01:06 am |
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It's been a while since this post went up, but I'll respond.
That is what sperm banks are for. I think you're almost hitting on the real issue. You and your wife have different feelings about more children. It's not really about the vasectomy. 
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with having children, i think both parents should want to have another, other wise that child will suffer later.
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I feel that exact same way JJ. My wife and I had kids very early in our marriage 2 boys. I love them with all my heart and can't live without them. It was a financial struggle from the start and my wife hasn't worked since. Now that my youngest is 5 and in school It's about time for her to get a job. I make good money and we have a nice big house and a nice car, we have never had any "fun money"
We have always lived paycheck to paycheck. It gets very frustrating after a while. I want a big ass truck!! I've busted my butt for so long to make my family comfortable I'm ready to cash in!! If we have another kid..it's another 5 years of her not working and the same 'ol stuff. Birth control has not been a heathly option for us and we have used everything. I hope I don't sound too selfish. I'm just about ready to get snipped. My wife doesn't think I have the balls to do it (no pun intended. She also wants another kid. I just don't think I can bear the weight of another child. Her feelings mean a lot to me, but I really think I'm done.
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My husband had a vasectomy about 7 yrs ago. At the time, he was married to another woman and they share 2 children, a boy and girl. At the time he got his, he didn't think he'd get a divorce and that 2 was plenty. He also thought that his wife was cheating so if she got pregnant, he knew it wasn't his.
He had a reversal a little over a year ago. We've been trying since. Obviously, his life completely changed since his vasectomy and that is part of the reason that he had the reversal. I don't have any children. We talked about adoption, but felt bio was the place to start and then move on if we weren't successful. Anyway, even if you don't feel like you don't want any more children and your wife does, wait a little bit. While most vasectomies can be reversed...by the way, very very painful. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of BS. It doesn't mean that you'll get pregnant. Bottom line, even though you don't want any right now, things may change and you could possibly change your mind. Wait until you are positive before making such a commitment. Another option is sperm storage, just in case you decide you want to later. Maybe your wife will feel like it is still an option. Just be aware that that is expensive too!
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What about her using injectable birth control until you know for sure? It is 98-99% effective, but it does have some health risks.
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