What is Trichotillomania Hair Pulling
Trichotillomania (TTM) or "trich" is an impulse control disorder characterised by the repeated urge to pull out scalp hair, eyelashes, beard hair, nose hair, pubic hair, eyebrows o...
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Dear Trich
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Dear Trich,
You came into my life as just a 'friend'. You were my solace when things got too crazy and released my tensions when I was confused, hurt, mad. I liked you at first, thinking how harmless it was to just pull and to make it feel better and to forget the world. Oh how naive I was, how stupid. After a while, people started to notice you. A spot missing in the middle, corners, bottom of my lashes. Only half of my brow remaining. They didnt ask, but I could see the questions in their eyes. I vowed to stop, if only out of pure embarassment, but you wouldnt let me. You were my drug now. Are my drug now. I hate how I cant be myself becuase you've taken over my life. I just want to be normal again, a normal teenage girl who has normal problems. Not worrying about when I'm going to pull. Or who is going to catch me or notice me, and ask me questions I dont know the answers to. You strike when I'm weak, strong, angry, calm, bored, or confused. I want to be able to read a book in peace without you nagging at me to just release my tensions. I want to be able to make it though a class listening to the teacher, not wondering how to stop you. I want to be able to be close to someone without wondering if they are judging me, if they see what you make me do. I cut myself off from the rest of the world, and I no longer have the self confidence to be around people and be comfortable in my own skin. I want to be able to look in the mirror and not feel embarrasment, shame, and confusion. I hate how when I finally start to stop, how my brows look normal for once, or my lashes long and full, that you come creeping back, drawing my in for more. But most of all, I hate that however much you hurt me, how much you make me hurt myself, however bare my face is, I always come back to you and need you? why do I do this to myself? why cant i escape you? what do you want with me? .......why cant i just..... stop. -ok i understand that this is a tad bit dramatic but it really helped me release my frustrations. and on the plus side, since i have written this letter to trichotillomania, i have stopped pulling a considerable ammount. im not saying i have stopped all the way, but ive progressed, not regressed! i would reccomend writing a letter or something like it to just release your tension. hey, its better than pulling! -erin Posted on 11/02/09, 09:11 pm |
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I don't think this is too dramatic at all. It's exactly how I feel most days. I'm so glad this letter has helped you get rid of your frustrations and is helping you heal.
Thank you for sharing this. It's so nice to hear that there a other people out there who feel as I feel, who struggle as I struggle, and who want to be free from this nightmare as much as I do. 
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