What is Trichotillomania Hair Pulling
Trichotillomania (TTM) or "trich" is an impulse control disorder characterised by the repeated urge to pull out scalp hair, eyelashes, beard hair, nose hair, pubic hair, eyebrows o...
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Maximum Stress has me Breaking my Goal on Day 1
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I set a goal for myself to be pull free for one week this morning before I went to work. The first few hours went great, as work is generally distracting until I get on the road. At that point, I'm hollering at myself every minute or so to cut the crap... A typical day usually begins with the intention of being pull free, but today I actually set "the goal".
I had a terrible terrible message on my cell phone today. I usually leave my phone in the truck during the time in the office for professionalism... but emergencies make that a very stupid thing to do. It was my ex, who I am still quite close with, we speak just about every day. Devastating news, his son's girlfriend, who had a beautiful baby girl 3 weeks ago today, died this morning of a drug overdose. I may be an "outlaw", rather than an "inlaw", but like I said, we are still very close and I was there when the baby was born. Ash was only 27, she struggled with addictions, but had done so well staying clean and sober thru her pregnancy, we thought maybe she had a breakthrough. This stress has my MS in an uproar, my whole body feels like electricity is just coursing thru, and my scalp is also tingly and calling my fingers to do their duty and just rip it all out and to hell with goals or caring about what I look like! I have no idea what to do, I can't focus on anything. Posted on 11/10/09, 08:11 pm |
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*hugs* so sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I can't imagine how hard it is on you, especially after setting the goal to stop pulling. But you can do this, you're stronger than you know. It's hard to say that "everything will be okay" since there's been a tragedy so close to you. But everything with your trich will work out. You may have setbacks (we all do) but you'll get there!! *more hugs and love* 
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I am so sorry to hear that. Stories like that make me grateful every day for what I have, and what I don't have. When I hear stories of people addicted to drugs, or starving in other countries, or our country, terrible diseases... I take a look at myself, and I think... "Ok, so when I get stressed I pull my hair out. I guess it's not that bad..." I too am setting a goal for myself, but I am going a week at a time right now... I am on day number 4 today... And I almost had a major episode last night but I stopped myself! I was actually yelling in my computer chair NO PULLING NO PULLING! And I did it... I stopped before I even pulled one hair out... And I am so glad I did it.
Try to focus on something positive... I know it is so hard to do when your head just keeps going back to the terrible things.... I am thinking about you and hope you are ok. Love, Carrie
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thanks poohm and CiarrasMommy - I'm hanging in there, funeral was Saturday for one half of the family and memorial on Sunday for the other half and all her friends... so so sad that even her death couldn't get her estranged family to put their differences aside for just one day...
I've managed my trich pretty well, considering, I have done an awful lot of "self-stim" by rubbing my normal pull spot, but I have only pulled a few tiny spikey hairs, and I have left my skin alone. I haven't had a day where I wasn't up there mookin' around with my bald spot tho'... and I got to see my Neurologist today, he really is a terrific doc, he did an emg, and a few other tests, put my mind at ease, not in an MS flare even tho' my symptoms have lasted for a full week. I also have Celiac disease, which has it's own host of neurological symptoms, and what's going on now is more fitting of Celiac, still not fun, but manageable... feel like I have cats kneading my whole body...
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